Future NFL baller, boyfriend material?
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Hi BA Ladies!
I am currently in college and met a wonderful up-and-coming college football player (for the sake of anonymity I am not revealing what school he plays for, but it is in the BIG 12) and has received all sorts of accolades and it is HIGHLY promising he will be a first-round draft pick for 2009 (although we know nothing is guaranteed).
So, because of distance and because we do not go to the same school we will have to do the long-distance thing (which is fine with me). We have only been talking for two weeks, but he is very interested and we talk/text two to three times, daily. He recently suggested I come visit him this upcoming weekend.
Well, being “The Rules” girl that I am (many of you have read the book, if not, you NEED TO) I assumed that since he brought the trip up and since he is the man, (and I am used to being catered to) that he would cover my arrangements for the trip. So when I asked him whether or not he needed my email address to send me my itinerary, he was pretty surprised!
Either he is not used to having to work for anything, or he just doesn’t care! I choose to believe the latter of the two. So, needless to say, I made it very clear to him that because HE is the one who invited me down to visit him, that it is only natural that HE cover my travel expenses.
At first a bit reluctant, he now is sweating me! LADIES! Ever since that conversation he has been making an effort to be more gentlemanly like and seems receptive to my views on chivalry. I know he is a senior in college (as I am too) and that he is not ballin…yet! Our conversation concluded that night by him saying that this is a trip we are going to have to postpone, but do in the near future, because he must “work some things out” sooo..In other words, he cannot afford to have me come down yet!
I actually respect that! He is honest and upfront about his finances and is not trying to front (this is acceptable because he is still an undergrad…and for that reason ONLY!!!!)
My question for you all wise ladies is if I should stick it out and be the understanding college girlfriend, with him from the start (which I have never done before!) or move on before I catch feelings because he can’t accommodate my lifestyle…just yet!
But…keep in mind that he graduates in December, is then headed to Pre-NFL training camp and is set to sign on with Vince Young’s agent
One more thing….he is a very sweet guy, who seems like he has his head on straight, but has obviously NEVER met a girl like me
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna mess up a good thing…or should I????
I am currently in college and met a wonderful up-and-coming college football player (for the sake of anonymity I am not revealing what school he plays for, but it is in the BIG 12) and has received all sorts of accolades and it is HIGHLY promising he will be a first-round draft pick for 2009 (although we know nothing is guaranteed).
So, because of distance and because we do not go to the same school we will have to do the long-distance thing (which is fine with me). We have only been talking for two weeks, but he is very interested and we talk/text two to three times, daily. He recently suggested I come visit him this upcoming weekend.
Well, being “The Rules” girl that I am (many of you have read the book, if not, you NEED TO) I assumed that since he brought the trip up and since he is the man, (and I am used to being catered to) that he would cover my arrangements for the trip. So when I asked him whether or not he needed my email address to send me my itinerary, he was pretty surprised!
Either he is not used to having to work for anything, or he just doesn’t care! I choose to believe the latter of the two. So, needless to say, I made it very clear to him that because HE is the one who invited me down to visit him, that it is only natural that HE cover my travel expenses.
At first a bit reluctant, he now is sweating me! LADIES! Ever since that conversation he has been making an effort to be more gentlemanly like and seems receptive to my views on chivalry. I know he is a senior in college (as I am too) and that he is not ballin…yet! Our conversation concluded that night by him saying that this is a trip we are going to have to postpone, but do in the near future, because he must “work some things out” sooo..In other words, he cannot afford to have me come down yet!
I actually respect that! He is honest and upfront about his finances and is not trying to front (this is acceptable because he is still an undergrad…and for that reason ONLY!!!!)
My question for you all wise ladies is if I should stick it out and be the understanding college girlfriend, with him from the start (which I have never done before!) or move on before I catch feelings because he can’t accommodate my lifestyle…just yet!
But…keep in mind that he graduates in December, is then headed to Pre-NFL training camp and is set to sign on with Vince Young’s agent
One more thing….he is a very sweet guy, who seems like he has his head on straight, but has obviously NEVER met a girl like me
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!! I don’t wanna mess up a good thing…or should I????
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by REM on -
Are you in undergrad yourself? If so you know how things can be. If he is sweet, and has head on his shoulder what exactly the issue besides distance? and you dont wanna come off as a gold digger and if you understand his finance then why are you complaining about him not supporting your lifestyle?
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Permalink Reply by sue on -
Yea! I guess I worded this post wrong...I meant to say supporting my trip down there...which is a small portion of my overall lifestyle (travel and stuff)...but yes! I am also a senior in college, so I do understand the budget restraints!
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Permalink Reply by sue on
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Yea! I guess I worded this post wrong...I meant to say supporting my trip down there...which is a small portion of my overall lifestyle (travel and stuff)...but yes! I am also a senior in college, so I do understand the budget restraints!
ReMLoVe said:Are you in undergrad yourself? If so you know how things can be. If he is sweet, and has head on his shoulder what exactly the issue besides distance? and you dont wanna come off as a gold digger and if you understand his finance then why are you complaining about him not supporting your lifestyle?
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Permalink Reply by sue on
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Yes! LOVE The Rules! However, they can be a bit strict and I don't wanna "Rule" myself out of a relationship so I don't follow them all...all of the time! LoL!
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Permalink Reply by Elodie on -
I like how you set the pace immediately. He now knows that you are lady who demands to be treated like one. He obviously likes that as well, which is why he is making such an effort to keep in contact. Definitely keep in touch, but dont rule out any other interested prospects. I've learned that things can easily change within months so never put all your eggs in one basket. Keep setting the pace... be a dear friend and see how things go. He seems like a decent guy.
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Permalink Reply by MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on -
Because you are on the same level, meaning age group and everything, I think that you should try to play main chick with him, get in early. This is like all the NBA and NFL player's marrying their highschool sweethearts. I'm not saying get knocked up, but I am saying that you have just enough time to play the down chick. Now because you just laid your cards out there and you are definitely going to make him stick to paying for your trip that's good, but after he pays for this one then in a few months or wtvr be like oh I was thinking of seeing you again and pay your own way. That way you look independent but at the same time your putting in some time. If you back off now and then dude goes pro you will be kicking your own ass for not pursuing it. I'm feeling the fact that he isn't a liar and that he seems to really be into you. Don't mess this one up. Besides you have the best of both worlds you can be the main girl in his life, but because it's long distance you can have your "sponsors" on the side that can take care of you until he makes it pro. Ideally once he gets that signing bonus and you get that ring then drop the other guys and the two of you can live happily ever after, lol.
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Permalink Reply by FP on -
a lot can happen between the time he signs and goes pro....many a player ditches his college/highschool sweetheart. since you are so new, just be there for him, be a friend, be supportive, and don't burn yourself out. it's the thrill of the chase, the getting to know eachother that is so fun and you should just not worry about being a girlfriend when you guys just started talking. don't forget he has chicks where he plays, so your job is to keep him interested, show him you are doing things after you graduate.....and ask yourself do you really like him, do you see it going anywhere, a lot of women are unhappy even though they snagged their baller...(and don't let me get started about rookie year....) make sure he has a good family, moral values etc.....get in his head, otherwise he's just b.o.r (booty on reserve lol) sometimes you have to let the relationship age before you move forward...i have a lot of guys i choose to be friends with and they ball all over the nation and they introduce me to everyone and anyone i would like to talk to...
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Permalink Reply by sue on
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Yea! You are so right! I love the whole independent thing, but I think it's good he knows how I expect to be treated...What is it "The Rules" say? "Hard to get, but easy to be with" I am THE definition of that. HE should definitly cover all expenses for the FIRST trip, but after a few monhts, when he has put in work, I will def help out (at least with one visit! LoL) Heck! and I may even have one of my "sponsors" cover the damn trip! LoL :)
allegra said:Because you are on the same level, meaning age group and everything, I think that you should try to play main chick with him, get in early. This is like all the NBA and NFL player's marrying their highschool sweethearts. I'm not saying get knocked up, but I am saying that you have just enough time to play the down chick. Now because you just laid your cards out there and you are definitely going to make him stick to paying for your trip that's good, but after he pays for this one then in a few months or wtvr be like oh I was thinking of seeing you again and pay your own way. That way you look independent but at the same time your putting in some time. If you back off now and then dude goes pro you will be kicking your own ass for not pursuing it. I'm feeling the fact that he isn't a liar and that he seems to really be into you. Don't mess this one up. Besides you have the best of both worlds you can be the main girl in his life, but because it's long distance you can have your "sponsors" on the side that can take care of you until he makes it pro. Ideally once he gets that signing bonus and you get that ring then drop the other guys and the two of you can live happily ever after, lol.
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Permalink Reply by sue on
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Yep! You are soooooooooo right!! :)
Thanks!
i'm that franchise player said:a lot can happen between the time he signs and goes pro....many a player ditches his college/highschool sweetheart. since you are so new, just be there for him, be a friend, be supportive, and don't burn yourself out. it's the thrill of the chase, the getting to know eachother that is so fun and you should just not worry about being a girlfriend when you guys just started talking. don't forget he has chicks where he plays, so your job is to keep him interested, show him you are doing things after you graduate.....and ask yourself do you really like him, do you see it going anywhere, a lot of women are unhappy even though they snagged their baller...(and don't let me get started about rookie year....) make sure he has a good family, moral values etc.....get in his head, otherwise he's just b.o.r (booty on reserve lol) sometimes you have to let the relationship age before you move forward...i have a lot of guys i choose to be friends with and they ball all over the nation and they introduce me to everyone and anyone i would like to talk to...
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Permalink Reply by Cassandra on -
The girl that went all out and stuck by his side in college ends up being wifey in the long run before a new random chick he meets after the league unless she has her shit together and is somewhat famous most of the time.
I advise that you play your cards carefully, don't do too much where you will regret it if things don't work out between the two of you. Do enough to keep him and yourself happy and just enough to show that you wil go the extra mile when he didn't have a lot. :)
HANG IN THERE CHAMP!
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Permalink Reply by MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on
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That's what I'm saying, by her paying for her own trip once (after he takes care of the first one) it she shows interest without being over the top but it's not like it's going to break her or be her big regret in life if they end up being friends and it could work in her favor if they do.
Cassandra said:The girl that went all out and stuck by his side in college ends up being wifey in the long run before a new random chick he meets after the league unless she has her shit together and is somewhat famous most of the time.
I advise that you play your cards carefully, don't do too much where you will regret it if things don't work out between the two of you. Do enough to keep him and yourself happy and just enough to show that you wil go the extra mile when he didn't have a lot. :)
HANG IN THERE CHAMP!
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Permalink Reply by sue on
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SAVANNAH said:Girl you should have gathered all your coins together and flew your ass to him, fucked him real good, fly back home, then his young ass will be on you like black people to sunflower seeds! LOL That's what I would've did. Got my ass an invite to the draft and sitting right wit his momma!!
Got me a good college girl, yeah momma, aint she pretty!! I'm so proud of you son!! There you have it!! You'd be the next Kim Kardashian bitch!! You still got time though!! LOL
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