When is just being a friend not enough?

Hello Ladies, I am new to balleralert, I've been lurking for a couple of weeks now and it's about time I be a member. I love all the posts/discussions, this is a GREAT blog!
Anywho, my question to you all is this... Can a woman and man just be friends, kick-it, enjoy one another's company w/o any attachments? I was told that it couldn't stay that way, that eventually someone would get hurt because feelings would start to get involved and that's when the friendship is challenged and it can get ugly. I've been out of the dating scene for quite sometime, I am a widow and I won't be ready for a long term commitment for awhile, I want to DO ME, but in the same token I don't want to lead anyone on or hurt anyone (Karma's a BIT**). Like most of us women we want to be treated like a queen and treat our men like kings. But I was told by one man that I have a "married woman mind vs a single woman mind" in his words, since I was married for a long time I do married women stuff (know how to cater and be quiet when necessary) and that's how a man will fall for me and want to be with me vs. just being friends.. I don't understand, call me naive' but I just do what I do because I am a grown woman and we should know how to treat our men, period. But again, how do you keep it simple, kick-it, get some good DI**, have your baller take you out treat you well and vice versa with out someone getting hurt in the long run? Or is there a such thing as keeping it simple?

Also, since I'm new here, if this has been discussed previously, I do apologize and ask that you send me to that discussion.