How did y'all learn the game? Did you happen to be in the right place at the right time with the right look? Were you schooled by an older sibling or friend? Trial and error? Was there a turning point that made you go from regular joe's to ballers buying you condo's and luxury cars? Spill it! lol
Hey Honeycoated! Hope all is well. Missed you all! My schedule(s) have been especially hectic since mid-July; this is usually a busy time of the year for me anyway but DANG!!!!
As for the elaboration, where do I begin or how can I put it into words? It has become so innate, so second nature for me. I remind myself that men are very simple creatures and they really do want a simple life- especially a safe place to call home.
When it comes to developing game, my strong motivating factor started with hunger. I was hungry to be somebody and to raise up out of the ghetto. I was hungry enough to be fly like my mentors; hungry to physically survive in a ruthless environment that didn't care about me and my dreams. I learned from my mentors how to use this hunger to get what I wanted. Watching these women, I learned how to f*** and suck your man until he is shaking and about to pass out; and that was many years before I ever had sex! By the time I actually started having sex at 18, I was a pro out the gate. The first dude I ever gave head to was pissed at me because he said "this is not your first time- you knew what you were doing". LOL! I've had a dude shaking so bad that he needed a shot of liquor to calm down! Shaking so bad and so open off the way I made him feel that he put me on! This for me was POWER! I was hooked and began to cleverly and discretely manipulate a select group of men that had real major street drug money. The sex , the attention I gave them, the encouragement and nurturing I showered them with, the promise and inspiration that I represented as they saw me striving (and financially supported me because of) towards becoming somebody made them feel good.
My manly "Bad Bish" mentors were ruthless! Unless it was (is) kill or be killed, my strong sense of humanity would never allow me to murder or totally destroy a man but I know too well what this looks like. Because of what I have experienced in this area, I do have a subtle edge about me. I cover it up real well but unleashed it is raw and scary. It's like the spook that sat by the door. You don't see it but something about my swagger tells you that something not to be messed with is there. Me and my Ex were together for a good year before he even saw a peep of this side of me. Scared the s*** out of him, he was like "down pit bull!" When he was F-ing up, he'd be like "Where your guns at?". This seems to turn men on providing it is not over-bearing or too masculine or too life-threatening. I stabbed him in the cheek with a screwdriver and when he got over the shock of it all and the bleeding stopped, he was like "why'd you try to off me?" LOL, but really not funny! I have a girlfriend married to an NFLer and she has gone upside his head with a glass champagne bottle and he loves the ground she walks on now! Not funny and I do not advocate violence against your man.
The other thing that I learned about game is that you have to school your man; expose him to stuff that he ain't never seen before. The male role-models and boyfriends taught me well what this looks like from a male perspective.Back in the day my female and male mentors were shopping at stores like Hermes on 57th Street and flying to Paris on the Concorde for lunch. One of my most memorable experiences was when I went with one of them to Hermes so she could buy an $8,000 ostrich suit on sale. Another one of my mentors when she got busted by the FEDS they found $5 million dollars cash in her house. They never got the millions buried in her wall.This is one of the reasons I give Puffy's Mom Janice props; she was one of the Harlem manly "Bad Bish" pioneers. She has still got it and young men are still loving her literally! My exposure to this true fashion flyness and lifestyle has served a few corny-dressing NFL dudes well. I have exposed them to things new and extra! LOL! To this day my Ex still asks me to shop for him.
The official game switch-up to professional athletes came after a boyfriend showed up to hide out in my Ivy League dorm room for fear that there was a hit out on him. The hitman successfully killed his worker 5 states away! But he got away with a duffel bag containing about $250,000. I knew I was in too deep! LOL! I was scared, mainly because this "Bad Ass" with much street fame and cred was scared as s***! But I have to admit, I got it together enough to go shopping with some of that money!!
This was long but I hope it was enough of an elaboration for you Honeycoated!
One more quick thing, what is "manly" bad bish? So you mean they have kind of a mannish way about them?
Do you think some of the stuff you described above only works if you are young? Like 18 to early 20s? I'm 29 but it seems like men would tolerate that wildin' out s*** from a young girl.
I've got to get that book Why men love B******, cuz it seems like they do. These two guys I messed with, ultimately went back to their exes, even though about 90% of what they said about them was bad. I figured they have great head, they squirt or she letting him f*** her in the ass. Its gotta be something! Or he coulda been lying just to make me feel like I was better than his ex and he was just taking a break from her. *shrug*
HoneyC, manly referring to the way men act and think, you know kinda like that "take it or leave it- I do not have time for drama- it is what it is" attitude. As the saying goes women are from Venus and men are from Mars, manly would be like acting like a woman from Mars. It's a cool, self-possessed demeanor that is distinctly feminine.
The wildin out piece, yeah I never could get with that as my regular M.O. But I think your man knowing that you have that potential to wild out is empowering. Think about Left Eye (RIP) and Andre Rison, think about Janet and JD, Mary J. Blige and Kendu, Nene and Greg (can't believe I included them), Kimora and Russell, Naomi Campbell and her Russian Billionaire, Hillary and Bill Clinton, Harpo and Ms. Sophia (HeeHee), and I can think of many more where the women have been known to slap fire out of their men's mouth as well as others! These men do not leave their women (or they always go back as you pointed out). When and if the relationship ends, the woman walks away. But the only way that this will work is if you are bringing so much to the table that he has convinced himself that the "fear" of abuse or drama is worth it.
That's the other part of Game- making yourself indispensible in his mind. Making him feel like life without you would be so much harder. Truth or fiction, either way perception and misperception form a person's reality.
But the real truths behind game are that: 1) You can't game a gamer so do not waste your time and 2) If a man ain't feeling you, doesn't really want to be with you, does not see your worth as it relates to his simple needs, is not turned on by you in the least bit- Game does not work no matter what you do so don't waste your time.
As you get out of the 20s range, you have to highlight the nurturing/encouraging/I am going to take care of you part of game. Look at the successful "cougar" relationships in Hollywood, they are almost like mother-son or father-daughter relationships. Many men have that serious Oedipus Rex thing still going on. One person in particular who has got it bad is 50. Tha's my dude but I call it like I see it- Sorry Fif! Besides having a son with him, this kind of bond is what Shaniqua will always have over him (as fractured and disjointed as it is). Too bad she is too emotional and reactionary. Although she has some college under her belt, I think she is a good example of a woman that could really benefit from the many years of being in academia. Her edges are still very rough although she is a bonafide uncut "diamond".
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