Frugal/Cheap Men
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I have a friend who needs some advice and she asked me to get everyone's take on the matter.
She is involved with a "corporate baller". He makes over 500k a year. They have been together going on 4yrs. He takes her on vacation once a year to an exotic locale and he always pays for dinner. The issue is the man is cheap as hell in every other aspect. He will NOT pay for clothes, shoes, bills or even give any type of spending cash. He nickels and dimes her and gives her exact change for joint purchases. The other day she asked him to go half on a pair of Tory Burch flats (his side would've been $150) for HIS son's birthday party. He told her he had to "think about it".Prior to dealing with him she has dated extremely generous men. So being with this man is difficult for her. She has her own money, though nowhere near the same tax bracket as him. She sometimes has financial difficulties but he has made her feel guilty if she asks for financial assistance. She would like to know what to do to make him a little more generous. He has been this way from the start and even though she knows that she went along with it at the beginning (playing the role that she really didn't need his $$) she feels enough is enough and would like him to loosen the moneyclip a little bit. She also cooks for him every nite and is a great "stepmom" to his son. What can she do or is it too late?
She is involved with a "corporate baller". He makes over 500k a year. They have been together going on 4yrs. He takes her on vacation once a year to an exotic locale and he always pays for dinner. The issue is the man is cheap as hell in every other aspect. He will NOT pay for clothes, shoes, bills or even give any type of spending cash. He nickels and dimes her and gives her exact change for joint purchases. The other day she asked him to go half on a pair of Tory Burch flats (his side would've been $150) for HIS son's birthday party. He told her he had to "think about it".Prior to dealing with him she has dated extremely generous men. So being with this man is difficult for her. She has her own money, though nowhere near the same tax bracket as him. She sometimes has financial difficulties but he has made her feel guilty if she asks for financial assistance. She would like to know what to do to make him a little more generous. He has been this way from the start and even though she knows that she went along with it at the beginning (playing the role that she really didn't need his $$) she feels enough is enough and would like him to loosen the moneyclip a little bit. She also cooks for him every nite and is a great "stepmom" to his son. What can she do or is it too late?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Chocolate Allure on -
"Corporate ballers" are the most difficult type of baller to deal with and understand. Many people don't realize that the everyday millionaire(generally corporate) is a millionaire because of their frugality. They are more concerned with saving, investing and retirement than they are with living for the moment. Most of the major officers in my company make millions in annual salary and drive regular joe cars (one drives a Toyota Prius) lives in a good neighborhood in a modest house. They eat cheese sandwiches for lunch and shop at TJ Maxx and the like. They complain when their wives spend money on things they believe are "frivolous" . They live by "A fool and his money are soon parted"! Too late. Tell her to savor knowing that her future will be safe if she married him but if she wants "flashy" wrong "corporate baller". Tell her to keep her eyes open at his next company holiday party, company picnic etc. and check for the flashier "corporate baller"!
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Permalink Reply by Le Coquette on -
LOL! I told her that she has a "Jason"! As far as flashy she doesn't really want a flashier man she just wants someone that will be a little more generous. Not buying her an outfit for an event HE is throwing is ridiculous!
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Permalink Reply by Charlie/Daddy's Girl on -
lol...but so true...there is a book called the Millionaire Next Door, and thats what she has.
She should've been honest from the beginning, so they both knew what to expect...you can't change a players game in the ninth inning.
**this is exactly why I tell men upfront what I am about, so we do not have to watse each others time**
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Permalink Reply by Boss on -
This is so true...
Slim, does she complain about him being cheap with his time also? I dealt with a cheap man and it was the pits...he did everything he wanted to do but when it came to me...his wallet was tight...i will never deal with a cheap man again...because they are cheap with other things beside money.
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Permalink Reply by Le Coquette on
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Nope. That man wants her to stay under him every darn day. Maybe cuz she cooks for his ass. LOL. He really is like Jason from The Game minus the coupons. But if she had coupons he would use them with pride. He did tell her that he saw his Mom be wasteful with money when he was growing up so we think it definately has something to do with that. I think if she chooses to deal with another man she will remember once again how it is to be with someone who spoils her.
The issue when they first met is that even though she had a day job she was moonlighting at nite as a cocktail waitress in a strip club ( she did NOT dance or take off her clothes) So to distance herself from the stigma of that nightlife she HAD to come off like she had her own and for a time she did working 2 jobs.
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Permalink Reply by Charlie/Daddy's Girl on
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F that...being straight up is always the best way to go...its easy to walk away after the 1 date, its much harder after 4 years
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Permalink Reply by Le Coquette on
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Diva, yea she has. That man brushes it off. LOL. She just told me that he did break her off a little bit more at the beginning. Like $100-200 for "lunch" money but she thinks he just did it because he knew he was in competition for her affections
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Permalink Reply by joe digler on -
This guy sounds like my idle. Is there anyway you could introduce us??
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Permalink Reply by Le Coquette on
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nah man, he is probably sitting in a cave and counting his coins like he's Daffy Duck. Cheap ass man.
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Permalink Reply by Holly-Would on -
Dang, he won"t even pay a bill?
I smell prenup...
She needs to go into the bathroom an stick her finger in her :-O
and stick it under his nose......
She needs to start withholding things...like still cook dinner every night, feed the son, then pack all the dinner away in tupperware and put it in the fridge...
Let his azz share his own food and have to reheat it...
Do things like write the grocery list and email it to him at work...
Make him start to do more....she changes unless he changes
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Permalink Reply by joe digler on
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If you are a dating and not married i was taught never to pay bills or let money exchange hands unless it's under the pretense of borrowing.
Spoiling a woman as taught to me entails buying gifts and taking trips. Not paying bills even if it is a 33 dollar gas bill. I would rather buy you a new LV Damier Geant totebag than pay for a utliity or cell phone bill. That separation is very important to me.
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Permalink Reply by Holly-Would on
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Um, then how about he send her to seminars? Not handing over 150 for Tury Burch shoes is not a valuable lesson...
Granted, she should have certain life skills, but one has nothing to do wth the other...in this case...he won't even pay her light bill!
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