I've been surfing BA for awhile now in the shade, but I've decided to come out & play ! I must say I love this site due to the realness of each & every female & male who posts, you guys always have the best answers !

Now, here is MY question. Ive been dealing with this "gentleman" for almost a year now, but im getting to the point where I want MORE than just chilling. I've made statements in the past about me just wanting "sex" from him but to me they were semi-jokes because I didnt think I would want anything else from him desides the D & im not sure if he ever has wanted anything more than what we are "f*** buddies" basically. Im shy when it comes to asking dudes questions like "what do you want to stem from this" because; lowkey I think I have a fear of rejection, although I have never been rejected. (first time for everything huh ?!) I guess, I just need advice on what to do to attempt to make this a more sufficient relationship between me & him.

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I'd try to make a suggestion about doing something outside of the bedroom and see how he reacts. go to a movie, take in a play... do dinner... anything outside of where you normally sex it up.
Oh & welcome to BA!
I agree. And just kinda casually ask him when is he going to get married(not to you, you're just throwing it out there) and have kids...See how he responds to that...

S0 F L Y Y said:
I'd try to make a suggestion about doing something outside of the bedroom and see how he reacts. go to a movie, take in a play... do dinner... anything outside of where you normally sex it up.
gracias ladies ! I'll definitly use these suggestions when I see/talk to him next.
I would just be straight forward. Ask questions u really wanna know, like Devyn said. Or u could just be bold & let him know how u feel. No sense of beating around the bush if ur feelings are involved. Everyone hates 2 get rejected, but rejection is part of life, whether it be a job, relationship, loan, etc...The only way 2 know his intentions is 2 ask him. This way u will know where u stand with him vs hearing negative "hearsay" about the 2 of u or him. Good luck on that & WELCOME 2 BA :-)
Well you already been f****** him so don't expect much. On the flipside, just tell him straight up. Im looking for more (a relationship), and I'm wondering if this is something you can give? If he is down for it there you go, if not, quit wasting time and move on. Or you could keep f****** him, but it's your decision, and only you will hurt in the end.
Welcome to BA,

Okay I agree with a couple of things already posted, just tell him how you feel, if you're not use to being so bold ask a couple of general questions first and try to feel him out. U may run the risk of loosing your sex buddy if he's not into you that way, but at least you'll know whether or not you're wasting your time. Good Luck & again welcome.
Can't change the game in the 9th inning...
Yep Charlie, the tone of the relationship was set in the beginning.

You've shown him that you were down for this & it worked well for a year. You need to find your strength with the risk of losing him and ask him to what the future holds.

You have to ask with confidence and be direct and to the point. But you have to know exactly what you want before you ask him, because he will be caught off guard so be prepared for whatever his response is.
I wouldn't say ish...I'd move on...the tone was set...this is why men think women are crazy and can't handle ish...you said I just wanna freak, so that's what you got...that's all its going to be, unless he feels the same way...and if he did he would have said something already...

The only thing I would say is: "at this point in my life I want more from a relationship than sex, so I'm leaving to find my bliss"...if he wants more he'll ask you to be with him...

From Jump-off to Wifey when you're the one who requested to be the jump-off in the first place won't be easy...pretty close to impossible...
I see your point & it makes very good sense. I think that may be best for me in the end anyways. thanks ladies :)

Charlie/Daddy's Girl said:
I wouldn't say ish...I'd move on...the tone was set...this is why men think women are crazy and can't handle ish...you said I just wanna freak, so that's what you got...that's all its going to be, unless he feels the same way...and if he did he would have said something already...

The only thing I would say is: "at this point in my life I want more from a relationship than sex, so I'm leaving to find my bliss"...if he wants more he'll ask you to be with him...

From Jump-off to Wifey when you're the one who requested to be the jump-off in the first place won't be easy...pretty close to impossible...

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