A GROUPIE SPEAKS...

I’ve read through almost all the groupie stories on the site, as well as many, many, many of the comments. Everyone on the site has very valid opinions when discussing the conflicting viewpoints of “groupie” vs. “ho”. Before I go further, I just want to give you a little background about myself (I’ll keep it short to get to the meat and potatoes of this email): I’m in my late 20’s and have been working in the entertainment (music) for almost 10 years. I’ve worked for record labels, publicity companies, as well as independently. I’ve been on tour many times with many different artists and some of the greatest festivals that music has to offer. I’ve been all over the world and have seen it all (well, maybe not ALL, some things I don’t care to see). All in all, I started off as a fresh faced young woman with aspirations to be in the “biz”, but in the early years, I got sucked up in the life of mixing my internships/work with pleasure and became a “groupie”.

Here’s where my viewpoint on being a groupie lies: A groupie is a not a ho. A groupie is NOT a one night stand. You can refer to her as a “jump off” or a “side chick”, but she certainly isn’t someone who is going to expect money or gifts for “services”. From the traditional sense of the term and actions of a “groupie”, she (or he for that matter) is a person that wants to hang out with the “group”. In the basic language, a groupie is a part of the entourage, just not a permanent part. For instance, in one of the Jim Jones stories, the young lady said he told her to “wash up and get naked” or some mess like that, and when it was over tossed her $10 for a cab ride home. No, no, no. That was not a groupie story. Your real groupies are ones that kick it with whomever…when that artist/entertainer/athlete gets to your town, he hits you up online or by phone for you to come see him/her. They are looking forward to hanging out with you, if you end up going to bed with them, then you do. If you don’t, it’s not the end of the world, they’ll find someone else, but they’ll still want to have you around the next time they’re in your city whether they’re sleeping with you or not.

I was a groupie in the sense that I hung out with musicians. Rock musicians and some rappers (for the record, I am Black). I’ve had my friends with benefits, but not getting tossed some stacks right after laying up with some dude or the morning after. That’s ho status. Straight up. Being a groupie isn’t just having someone fly you here or there and putting you up someplace, it’s the work put into it as well. It’s getting picked up from your place or taking a cab to the club or venue where an artist is performing, kicking it, and getting on the bus or flying around for a week or so, going to that artists shows hanging out side and backstage, and then having that artist get you a plane ticket home. It’s making friends with the entire entourage, making fun of the chicks that give it up first night, the nasty girls they do it up with in the bathroom. Knowing the secrets and not telling them. Maybe you’ll end up having sex with someone, but that can’t be the basis of the relationship or all you are is a jump off. That’s all you’ll ever be.

There are still a many bands and artists that I kick it with whenever they’re in town, or in a city in surrounding states, that I’ve never messed with. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to, doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen, just haven’t...but trust and believe, I’ve been a groupie for them for 5+ years. I love them as individuals because I know them now, but the love I had for them started as a fan. I listen to them, I don’t talk to them on the regular, but I’ll go almost anywhere to see them perform. I love their music and the celebrity status that surrounds them. When they see me at a show, they’re happy I’m there, myself and whomever I am with immediately get our backstage passes, we talk for hours, hang out and get our buzz on, but they know my groupie status isn’t a ho status. I’m just a groupie. They’ll be in the middle of a conversation with a TAB (Thirsty A$$ Broad) and ditch them as soon as they see me coming. I’ve been mean mugged so hard so many times it’s hilarious by chicks thinking I’m the jump off in that city.

I tell everyone for all references to what a groupie is, watch Almost Famous. It is a movie about a rock band, but the general groupie principles are very, very true in that movie and is played very well. I read the post you had about the definition of a groupie and somewhat I agree. Mostly it’s the emotional validation that as dull or ordinary as my life is on the regular, I have these few moments with a person or persons that the country or world recognizes and/or idolizes. On top of that, and the most recognizable factor, is that there is a fantasy about being sexually involved with these individuals. A real groupie wants to be validated on more than one occasion. She doesn’t want someone to view her as a quick screw, or a person that’s only good physically. Ho’s don’t care. They’ll f*ck, take some money, hotel room, LV bag, shopping money, or flight and be on their way. Maybe they’ll talk to that person again, maybe not, who cares. Many of the women who posted answered the “would you do it again” question with no because they got what they wanted. Many of the women answered the “do you consider yourself a groupie” question with not really because it was the first time they ever did something like that, or they really weren’t checking for that person so it wasn’t really being a groupie. The women who said they wouldn’t “do it again” aren’t groupies because they aren’t even about that person at all. They were looking for sex with a celebrity, and that’s just a TAB, not a groupie. Those that said they didn’t consider themselves groupies for the aforementioned reasons aren’t groupies as well because they don’t give a damn about that particular celebrity either. They just happened upon the experience.

In all seriousness, being a groupie is an art form. You have to know when to fallback and chill, when to step-up and make yourself seen, and how to act in order to be respected. If all you’re looking for is to get someone in bed or make your way back to the hotel, more power to you. Make sure you wrap it up and are in a safe environment. BUT, if you want to become a groupie and always have the hook-up and travel with the boys (or girls), step your game up. Trust, you can make a fool fall in love with you and never let them hit it. Just because you think you have someone whipped on your stuff and they’re buying you whatever and giving you stacks, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have someone else in the next town over. You just happen to be his ho in that city.

Anyway, that’s my two cents. I felt compelled to just share, I know everyone has their opinion on what a groupie is or how they act, but from my experiences and talking to and hanging out with women who were groupies in the 70’s for some of the biggest names in music history, I believe it rings truth. Though, I have some stories that are first and secondhand that could keep your blog updated on the daily for about a month…

Saw this on backstagepazz.com