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Permalink Reply by DB on May 25, 2011 at 4:06pm

Thanks girl @covergyrl.. We talked (I initiated) and we're good now. I still keep her at a distance because who knows when she might do it again but for right now we're cool.

Covergyrl said:

You may be a bit jealous or resentful because your friend is distant when you two have always shared everything and been there for each other.  That is understandable.  However, Its not you girl, your feelings don't go unwarranted.

I can say that I have been prone to that syndrome at times myself.  Your friend sounds like she looses herself when she becomes involved with a man.  That is never good and what she doesn't realize is that anyone who doesn't allow you to be yourself is not a good fit. Likely, there is something about that man that makes her feel like she has to be around him at all times and/or at his disposal at all times even if he is out doing his thing. Trust, the man realizes that she has lost all contact with the outside world. So either he will back away because she seems obsessive (which she probably isn't she wants a good relationship) or he will most likely hang around and suck the life out of her until he does something  that is painful to her which will snap her out of her dream world.  The person that is right for you will compliment you- not allow you to be dependent on them.

Your friend is going to have to find herself before she is able to get into a healthy relationship. Sounds like you and she will always be good friends. Try talking to her DB about how you feel and ask her some questions to see if you can help her see what she is doing to herself and your friendship. Help her look at her past patterns and what the result was when she did it. She may not honestly respond at first, but I am sure it will stir enough thought in her to get her to look in the mirror. In the long run you will be helping her and I am sure she will appreciate that. She needs to find balance or she will never be happy with any man.  As women we have to empower each other. If you try it, let me know what happens. I hope it works out, good girlfriends are hard to find.

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Permalink Reply by Covergyrl on May 25, 2011 at 4:17pm

You are welcome, DB.  I understand about you feeling anxious about her repeating her same actions, perhaps you are right to relax your relationship with her until and unless she shows you that she has it together. You know what they say about people being in our life for a reason or season....Either way I'm sure you consider it a lesson learned on some level.

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