For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Okay so this is my first post on here so here it goes..
I have a good friend of mine that I love being around, love talking to, I tell her everything because I always felt like we were sisters (she feels the same way about me).. Anyway, there's this one thing she does that irks the hell out of me: whenever a man shows her the tiniest bit of promise, attention, or commitment, her ass starts dropping out of society and dedicating most of her time to him (not answering texts, not calling, etc).. Now, I'm the type of woman that believes that a worthy man deserves your all BUT not when youve only known him for a few days, a few weeks, or less than a month WTF.. So, just recently, she's been talking to this guy (she's been single for a little while) and suddenly she stops being available to talk or respond to text messages.. We usually talk all day, every day even if it's just about worthless mess through text! Mind you, I was in a very long and committed relationship and I NEVER ignored her or failed to be there when she needed me.. So my question is: am I jealous? am I only upset because I feel like I'm losing my good friend? or is she in the wrong for always putting her friends on the backburner everytime a man comes along (I am not the only person she's been blowing off)? This isn't the first time she's done this and if/when she begins having problems with this man she will be back blowing my phone up.. Anybody been through this or know what I'm feeling?
You may be a bit jealous or resentful because your friend is distant when you two have always shared everything and been there for each other. That is understandable. However, Its not you girl, your feelings don't go unwarranted.
I can say that I have been prone to that syndrome at times myself. Your friend sounds like she looses herself when she becomes involved with a man. That is never good and what she doesn't realize is that anyone who doesn't allow you to be yourself is not a good fit. Likely, there is something about that man that makes her feel like she has to be around him at all times and/or at his disposal at all times even if he is out doing his thing. Trust, the man realizes that she has lost all contact with the outside world. So either he will back away because she seems obsessive (which she probably isn't she wants a good relationship) or he will most likely hang around and suck the life out of her until he does something that is painful to her which will snap her out of her dream world. The person that is right for you will compliment you- not allow you to be dependent on them.
Your friend is going to have to find herself before she is able to get into a healthy relationship. Sounds like you and she will always be good friends. Try talking to her DB about how you feel and ask her some questions to see if you can help her see what she is doing to herself and your friendship. Help her look at her past patterns and what the result was when she did it. She may not honestly respond at first, but I am sure it will stir enough thought in her to get her to look in the mirror. In the long run you will be helping her and I am sure she will appreciate that. She needs to find balance or she will never be happy with any man. As women we have to empower each other. If you try it, let me know what happens. I hope it works out, good girlfriends are hard to find.