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Am I wrong for doing this to my daughters mom or did she have it coming to her
Ok I'll try and get right to the point. I was granted a leave of absence from my job to finish my masters and jump right into my doctoral since it'll coincide with what I want to do further in my career with them and possibly somewhere else :) . So I talked to my union rep who wanted to make sure I got every source of income available coming to me, and he notified me that because I have custody of my girls that I can get assistance from the state and our retirement board. So today I mosey on down there with my info and was met with a huge WTF... Turns out that my eldest daughters mother has been using her SSI to get a medical card/food stamps/money from the state/and a disability check from my child. So you can imagine my reaction in the place (not a pretty one)...And the lady then asks me a simple question: DO YOU WANT TO HAVE HER PURSUED AND EVERYTHING TURNED OVER TO YOU...I thought about saying no, but then I thought about everything I pay for, and how she isnt in her life and I simply said HELL YES. Im not worried about my finances since Im pretty content on sitting on my hands n chilling until I finish my masters and my first yr going after my doctorate. But then I thought about how shes using the fact that my daughter has a disability in which shes collected over 100K n 9years on and has never used a dime of it on her. Then I thought about her 700per month tuition, her tutors, therapists,travelling track team,soccer teams,choir, and band and said that could be used for HER BENEFIT. Now granted if I was working as usual I'd put that money in an account for her when she graduates, but since im on a fixed for a few yrs I feel it should go directly to her education...am i wrong for snitchin on her mom and possibly making her face jail time?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on -
The only time I'd ever tried to get assistance was in college when I tried to get my lights payed for, but Im one of those who doesnt take when I dont need to take. Because its plenty of folks out here starving or could really use that ish. Im like I pay up the you know what for blue cross blue shield already, so why should I be using something that should be reserved for someone else.....oh and btw I found out that the *other* notation on my check wasnt for a life insurance policy I had payed for when i first was hired at my job. this chic secretly filed child support on me at an old address I stayed at in college and they never tried to notify me. So I had 50 bucks a month(small change but still my change) deducted from my check into her account since 2005
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Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on -
Nope, youre not wrong, that bish is foul. She doesnt want anything to do with ur daughter, yet she using her to get money???? stop that ish and do it fast, she'll be shocked when she get that letter telling her no SSI. You didnt know tht your daughter qualified for SSI because she had/has a disability??? If shes getting some kind of assistance you need to make that known, because you could be owing money back to the ppl since you are working and because she was getting assistance. SHe prolly had no choice but to file child support, when you get assistance, most times they pursue a child support case on their own -- ooh, she would def be owing me some money back. Have you contacted her and let her know that you know?
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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on -
I'm confused. Did you ever get official custody of your daughter???? Cause if you're her custodial parent and she's disabled, how does ANYONE collect SSI on her behalf without your knowledge???
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Permalink Reply by SACK CHASER on -
Nope! Prosecute her and show up to EVERY court hearing!
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Permalink Reply by Siren on -
From what I know they rarely ask a woman for proof of custody of the child something similar happened with my dad when I was living with him...and he was granted custody in court. As for the baby momma you reap what you sow...you should not feel any type of way by doing right by your child.
University of Smitty said:I'm confused. Did you ever get official custody of your daughter???? Cause if you're her custodial parent and she's disabled, how does ANYONE collect SSI on her behalf without your knowledge???
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on -
you are NOT wrong. what that her other mom is doing is theft and against the law anyways so eventually it would've caught up to her. you're simply speeding up the case.
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Permalink Reply by MissBling on -
I hope she has to pay back every dime!
maxwells_musze said:
you are NOT wrong. what that her other mom is doing is theft and against the law anyways so eventually it would've caught up to her. you're simply speeding up the case.
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on
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@MissBling i cannot stand cruddy, scamming people who get over! i hope she has to pay it all back + some.
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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on
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@max & bling She'll have to pay it back and messing with that SSI money may get her some time in the pen.
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Permalink Reply by Siren on
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@Blackfu I just want to commend you on being a single Dad and being in school and doing what you are SUPPOSED to do as a father.. so many men get sh*tted on because they are Dead beats but there are men that do what you are doing and get no recognition.
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Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on
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You not wrong and i would do it if I was in your shoes ESPECIALLY if my daughter's father wasnt even spending ANY of that money on her?! From what I remember from your last post, why isnt the mother in her life? Why doesnt she want to be?
I went through a three year custody battle because he wanted residential custody. In the beginning, they always give the father every other weekend. He was getting that and then some when he would ask could she spend an extra night and I would say yes (big mistake). So after a while, we started making up our own schedule instead of what the court order said and he would damn near always have her. Instead of my family watching her when i had to work, he would say "why cant i watch her? i'm her dad" and i'd be like yes, but she has other family that wants to spend time with her.
long story short, when i decided to pull the reigns a little bit and be like, lets go back to the court ordered agreement, that's when i get something in the mail abou thim suing for residential custody. He wanted her to live with him and I would get whatever scraps they felt like giving me. In the end,we have 50/50. But I'm always curious to know how a mother doesnt have her child at all?!
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