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Answering a question with a question
I am currently dating this guy who does this and it annoys the HELL out of me. I am willing to stop talking to him, just because of that! It is so annoying!
We are laying in bed and i'm trying to ask him a question about us, Meanwhile, he's steady undressing me and just like "cant you tell by the way I make love to you?" In my head I'm like no because just because we have sex slow instead of a fast f*** doesnt mean anything. Dudes that dont give afuck about you can have slow, passionate sex with you, but at the end of the day, it still doesnt mean he gives a f*** about you.
Then we're eating breakfast and watching Divorce Court. He was saying he could tell ol' girl was crazy just by looking at her. I ask him "what did you think about me when you first laid eyes on me?" he says "I'm here aint I?" or something like that. But that still didnt answer my question. I wanted to know what ran through his mind when he first met me.
Then he is also cheap. We went out with his friends and he said something about happy hour. So, i'm prepared to buy my own appetizer(s) if I want more than what he wants to order but by the time the bill comes, he does pay it all. In a later conversation, he said that his friends laughed because they know him (and how cheap he is) so by him seeing my guy pay, they felt that I wasnt s*** because he paid. He said most of his friends are married and he is used to women who can handle their own and not women who are looking for men to pay for everything. He said the women he has dated have their own, so they just really want someone who is good company and they dont mind paying because they have it. He has had women take HIM out. And he's like why should I pay? Im like, in my mind "CUZ I'M F***** YOU THAT"S WHY!" WTF i look like letting you f*** and then when we went out, I paid?! Your boy laughing at you becasue you paid, if my girls was out with us and they saw that I paid, I would have gotten laughed at.
My thing is, he feels like he is such a good catch, but no one has caught him yet. He is 40. So i feel like, why is this man still single if he is such a great catch. I think he is full of s*** in some areas and the reason he may not like to really answer a question is he doesnt want to get caught up.
We are dating long distance but he says that he may come back to live where I am. Preferably,he wantd me to come where he is. I asked him "if I comethere. will we be official or will we still be on a trial basis?" He said of course we would be official, if one of us makes a move like that it will definately be official. Ok, so when i'm asking him that again when we're layingin bed, he just proceeds to kiss me and undress me without answering. When we talked on the phone, he says "I am single" So i'm like ok, you just answered my question, we are not official yet, we are still on a trial basis, and you consider yourself single.
While he was here, he did make alot of effort to show me he is into me. Since he is not here often, his nephews really wanted to hang with him, so one night, he didnt come back to spend the night, but he did put me on speaker to say wassup to them and they say wassup to me so that i would know he really is with them and he's not lying. He put me on speaker to speak with his daughters because they wanted to spend the day with him too. And one moring he did cook me breakfast.
One last example. After we ate breakfast, i was running late so instead of him droppingme off where he said he would drop me, I asked if he could take me a little bit further since I am running really late now. He did, but not after having to argue with him about it. ANd he's like "i'm going to have to double back" And I'm like ok but I'm already 40 miutes behind and I understand you having to double back, but I told you not to make breakfast anyway but you wanted to and now you not gonna drop me off further and have me be damn near an hour late?"
Later, he tells me he dropped me off up north, not because I made him, but because he was tired of hearing my mouth. He was like I'm trying to tell him what to do. I think he is controlling and in his mind, if I tell him something, then I'm being bossy and trying to tell him what to do.
Im ready to leave him the hell alone. Although I do see him being a good mate, there's still alot of rough patches we are trying to work through. is it even worth it?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tone © on -
if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on
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NO! It is not worth it. He is too damn old for this ish. Period.
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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on -
I have to LMAO, I like the way you write: My thing is, he feels like he is such a good catch, but no one has caught him yet. & "cant you tell by the way I make love to you?" I have lmao, if he can't separate the 2, you won't get a straight answer out of him.
He had enough time to practice 'the answer a question with a question' method. Some men you have to stop re-acting with emotion and use your head. He's keeping you around until you stop showing him how strong you are with your mouth.
Don't ask him about status when he's about to get the cooch. He's getting it anyway so why should he give you a straight answer?
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Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on
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EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! While asking him about the official stuff, he's asking me to tell him how much i want to be with him, or something like that, it was a couple nights ago, so my memory is fading, but just not answering and laying on top of me kissing and undressing me.
I'm like, is he trying to get me sprung off his d*** or something? Then he gon' say "it's plenty girls out here that have what you have if not better, that s*** dont move me" there's chicks in my state" But i'm like "so why the f*** you driving tho and a half hours to f*** me then??!!" There was a couple times he drove down JUST to have sex with me, he spent the night and left in the morning. So obviously it does move you!
Tone said:if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on
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He won't refuse cooch if you keep offering it without clarification or commitment he will keep taking it. Even if he has to drive out of his way to get it.
Honeycoated said:EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! While asking him about the official stuff, he's asking me to tell him how much i want to be with him, or something like that, it was a couple nights ago, so my memory is fading, but just not answering and laying on top of me kissing and undressing me.
I'm like, is he trying to get me sprung off his d*** or something? Then he gon' say "it's plenty girls out here that have what you have if not better, that s*** dont move me" there's chicks in my state" But i'm like "so why the f*** you driving tho and a half hours to f*** me then??!!" There was a couple times he drove down JUST to have sex with me, he spent the night and left in the morning. So obviously it does move you!
Tone said:if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on -
Because evidently, he ain't that great of a catch. Preach on $picey. *puts a couple dollars in the collection plate*
OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:He won't refuse cooch if you keep offering it without clarification or commitment he will keep taking it. Even if he has to drive out of his way to get it.
Honeycoated said:EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! While asking him about the official stuff, he's asking me to tell him how much i want to be with him, or something like that, it was a couple nights ago, so my memory is fading, but just not answering and laying on top of me kissing and undressing me.
I'm like, is he trying to get me sprung off his d*** or something? Then he gon' say "it's plenty girls out here that have what you have if not better, that s*** dont move me" there's chicks in my state" But i'm like "so why the f*** you driving tho and a half hours to f*** me then??!!" There was a couple times he drove down JUST to have sex with me, he spent the night and left in the morning. So obviously it does move you!
Tone said:if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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mmmhmm. He is the only one out of his friends that is not married or in a committed relationship. He told me he gets the side eye from his friend's wives and they dont want their husband's out with "the single friend" he has also said he is tired of being alone. We used to date about two years ago and I think I wrote a post about him sometime back. Time past and i call my grandmother and he says he came by looking for me (because I used to live with her) so apparently who he was with didnt work out
I also think he likes drama. There is stuff we went through that I am too embarassed to even tell y'all and we've never met. But this whole thing is starting from a rocky place and he called me to apologize and ask for forgivness and can we start over.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Because evidently, he ain't that great of a catch. Preach on $picey. *puts a couple dollars in the collection plate*
OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:He won't refuse cooch if you keep offering it without clarification or commitment he will keep taking it. Even if he has to drive out of his way to get it.
Honeycoated said:EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! While asking him about the official stuff, he's asking me to tell him how much i want to be with him, or something like that, it was a couple nights ago, so my memory is fading, but just not answering and laying on top of me kissing and undressing me.
I'm like, is he trying to get me sprung off his d*** or something? Then he gon' say "it's plenty girls out here that have what you have if not better, that s*** dont move me" there's chicks in my state" But i'm like "so why the f*** you driving tho and a half hours to f*** me then??!!" There was a couple times he drove down JUST to have sex with me, he spent the night and left in the morning. So obviously it does move you!
Tone said:if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on -
His non answer is essentially an answer.... Trust if you hit him with a "I thought we were exclusive" or any variation of that, his answer will be "when did I say that?"
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Permalink Reply by Sheli on -
Why go back? I'm all for forgiving, but once a dude humiliates me to the point where I'm embarrassed to even think of what he did to me, there is no going back. You just listed a LOT of reasons that make him a horrible catch and nothing that makes him greats aside from the fact that he drives to see you and cooked you breakfast (after you had sex). I just don't get what is keeping you? You just said he's cheap, so it can't be money, is the sex really that awesome? People look for familiarity when they're down on their luck or when they're in between, I think he's not answering your questions directly b/c he's keeping his options open, if he gives you a direct answer & it's not what you want to hear, you may leave, but if he answers & it's geared towards a relationship, then he's stuck. He may be into you, but at the same time, he may be looking for something better.
Honeycoated said:mmmhmm. He is the only one out of his friends that is not married or in a committed relationship. He told me he gets the side eye from his friend's wives and they dont want their husband's out with "the single friend" he has also said he is tired of being alone. We used to date about two years ago and I think I wrote a post about him sometime back. Time past and i call my grandmother and he says he came by looking for me (because I used to live with her) so apparently who he was with didnt work out
I also think he likes drama. There is stuff we went through that I am too embarassed to even tell y'all and we've never met. But this whole thing is starting from a rocky place and he called me to apologize and ask for forgivness and can we start over.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Because evidently, he ain't that great of a catch. Preach on $picey. *puts a couple dollars in the collection plate*
OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:He won't refuse cooch if you keep offering it without clarification or commitment he will keep taking it. Even if he has to drive out of his way to get it.
Honeycoated said:EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! While asking him about the official stuff, he's asking me to tell him how much i want to be with him, or something like that, it was a couple nights ago, so my memory is fading, but just not answering and laying on top of me kissing and undressing me.
I'm like, is he trying to get me sprung off his d*** or something? Then he gon' say "it's plenty girls out here that have what you have if not better, that s*** dont move me" there's chicks in my state" But i'm like "so why the f*** you driving tho and a half hours to f*** me then??!!" There was a couple times he drove down JUST to have sex with me, he spent the night and left in the morning. So obviously it does move you!
Tone said:if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on
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+1 to JM and Sheli and LMSBAO at Siren.
JustMe said:His non answer is essentially an answer.... Trust if you hit him with a "I thought we were exclusive" or any variation of that, his answer will be "when did I say that?"
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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on -
+1
Sheli said:Why go back? I'm all for forgiving, but once a dude humiliates me to the point where I'm embarrassed to even think of what he did to me, there is no going back. You just listed a LOT of reasons that make him a horrible catch and nothing that makes him greats aside from the fact that he drives to see you and cooked you breakfast (after you had sex). I just don't get what is keeping you? You just said he's cheap, so it can't be money, is the sex really that awesome? People look for familiarity when they're down on their luck or when they're in between, I think he's not answering your questions directly b/c he's keeping his options open, if he gives you a direct answer & it's not what you want to hear, you may leave, but if he answers & it's geared towards a relationship, then he's stuck. He may be into you, but at the same time, he may be looking for something better.
Honeycoated said:mmmhmm. He is the only one out of his friends that is not married or in a committed relationship. He told me he gets the side eye from his friend's wives and they dont want their husband's out with "the single friend" he has also said he is tired of being alone. We used to date about two years ago and I think I wrote a post about him sometime back. Time past and i call my grandmother and he says he came by looking for me (because I used to live with her) so apparently who he was with didnt work out
I also think he likes drama. There is stuff we went through that I am too embarassed to even tell y'all and we've never met. But this whole thing is starting from a rocky place and he called me to apologize and ask for forgivness and can we start over.
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:Because evidently, he ain't that great of a catch. Preach on $picey. *puts a couple dollars in the collection plate*
OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:He won't refuse cooch if you keep offering it without clarification or commitment he will keep taking it. Even if he has to drive out of his way to get it.
Honeycoated said:EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! While asking him about the official stuff, he's asking me to tell him how much i want to be with him, or something like that, it was a couple nights ago, so my memory is fading, but just not answering and laying on top of me kissing and undressing me.
I'm like, is he trying to get me sprung off his d*** or something? Then he gon' say "it's plenty girls out here that have what you have if not better, that s*** dont move me" there's chicks in my state" But i'm like "so why the f*** you driving tho and a half hours to f*** me then??!!" There was a couple times he drove down JUST to have sex with me, he spent the night and left in the morning. So obviously it does move you!
Tone said:if he does not tell you how he really feels you can't hold anything against him.
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