Okay,so like I said last post I dont ask dude for money at all......But he offered to do something for me and said I needed to pay him back keep in mind it is less than 100$. He purchased me a V-Day gift that was a few 100$'s and took me out to eat at a 5 star resturant. My cousin says maybe he doesnt have it like that to do but im like ummmmmmmmm i cant do broke guys. He is super sweet he does the small things but this not dishing out cash thing is kind of a turnoff. I kind of brought it up in a round about way that he doesnt and he said if I spent more time with him then he would do more. He thinks just cause if I tell him to do lil small stuff and he does it or he notices lil things i complain and he does it then he is spoiling me already but im thinking DAMN im use to guys breaking off someone yearly salary on me. My cousin says ive been spoiled and I dont know when someone really cares for me right in front of my face.How should I play this????

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Sorry this is not going to end well, unless you want a serious relationship.

Dude is serious.

Yeah, he wants to be serious and I think he's sensing you want to be doted on with CASH and for the little effort you seem to be putting in him he's being cautious. What I don't understand is ASKING FOR MONEY BACK ON A GIFT. Sir...no. Whether or not he was a giver that would just turn me smooth the f*** off. Hell naw. 

I'm with you on this Honey.  Pretty, what do you want outta this relationship is da question?  If it's nothing move on because he can't do what you need him to, bit if it's a real relationship, then you may have to stop thinking all about money. OAN:  it nay be possible that he do have it but it may just be a principle thing.  Did u ask for what he have you or did he just say "here goes 50 for your light bill"

Honeycoated said:

What is it you really want? A man that is "frugal" but will treat you right. Or a man that can spend on you in one day, what it takes others to make in a year, but there's alot of other b******* involved? It's like you cannever really get everything all in one guy. Sweet but cheap. Good d*** but a whore and liar. Baller but boring or bad sex. You gotta see if his good ways may outshine the fact that you cant go shopping the way you want to

I think I want a relationship Ive dated lots of guys and all different types single/with a girlfriend/with a wife/kids no kids and beyond the financial it was never really fulfilling Im at a point I dont want to be the 30yr old heaux still d*** hoppin....I think its a principle thing because we were out for drinks and this random girl just ran up on and started hugging him and he was like hey and introduced me immediately she was like hey im sorry he is like my brother and gave me a hug and whispered in my ear he got money and he a good guy keep him I bust out laughing....He gave me the craziest look and as soon as she walked off he asked what she told me I said that your a nice guy but I think he knew I was lying.Oh,no it was something I needed fixed and he dropped it off for me and he told me how much it was so id interpret that as I have to pay...Yea,I think he is serious he introduces me to everyone as his future wife and he is 10yrs my senior he always say im older and I know the games so maybe he is being cautious and making sure im not just bout money

MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:

I'm with you on this Honey.  Pretty, what do you want outta this relationship is da question?  If it's nothing move on because he can't do what you need him to, bit if it's a real relationship, then you may have to stop thinking all about money. OAN:  it nay be possible that he do have it but it may just be a principle thing.  Did u ask for what he have you or did he just say "here goes 50 for your light bill"

Honeycoated said:

What is it you really want? A man that is "frugal" but will treat you right. Or a man that can spend on you in one day, what it takes others to make in a year, but there's alot of other b******* involved? It's like you cannever really get everything all in one guy. Sweet but cheap. Good d*** but a whore and liar. Baller but boring or bad sex. You gotta see if his good ways may outshine the fact that you cant go shopping the way you want to

yeah, a friend of mine was telling me about one of his homeboys...he met a chick online, they had been conversating, seemed to click well so decided to meet..he didnt drive his luxury car to meet her he borrowed a friends car to see her reaction and if anything between them would change. 
 
PrettyPretty said:

I think I want a relationship Ive dated lots of guys and all different types single/with a girlfriend/with a wife/kids no kids and beyond the financial it was never really fulfilling Im at a point I dont want to be the 30yr old heaux still d*** hoppin....I think its a principle thing because we were out for drinks and this random girl just ran up on and started hugging him and he was like hey and introduced me immediately she was like hey im sorry he is like my brother and gave me a hug and whispered in my ear he got money and he a good guy keep him I bust out laughing....He gave me the craziest look and as soon as she walked off he asked what she told me I said that your a nice guy but I think he knew I was lying.Oh,no it was something I needed fixed and he dropped it off for me and he told me how much it was so id interpret that as I have to pay...Yea,I think he is serious he introduces me to everyone as his future wife and he is 10yrs my senior he always say im older and I know the games so maybe he is being cautious and making sure im not just bout money

MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:

I'm with you on this Honey.  Pretty, what do you want outta this relationship is da question?  If it's nothing move on because he can't do what you need him to, bit if it's a real relationship, then you may have to stop thinking all about money. OAN:  it nay be possible that he do have it but it may just be a principle thing.  Did u ask for what he have you or did he just say "here goes 50 for your light bill"

Honeycoated said:

What is it you really want? A man that is "frugal" but will treat you right. Or a man that can spend on you in one day, what it takes others to make in a year, but there's alot of other b******* involved? It's like you cannever really get everything all in one guy. Sweet but cheap. Good d*** but a whore and liar. Baller but boring or bad sex. You gotta see if his good ways may outshine the fact that you cant go shopping the way you want to

It sounds to me like he is lonely and wants someone to settle with. The fact that he is asking for money back is a sign to me that he may be a game player. I don't get hyped on meeting parents cuz some people let everybody meet their parents. What happened between yall causing yall to re-meet a MONTH ago? Why wasn't he tryna be ur man the first time yall met?

I met him at a bar and we just never exchanged info and then I saw him at a bar again and it didnt click until maybe like a day or two later we met before almost a year ago

Love is a Losing Game said:

It sounds to me like he is lonely and wants someone to settle with. The fact that he is asking for money back is a sign to me that he may be a game player. I don't get hyped on meeting parents cuz some people let everybody meet their parents. What happened between yall causing yall to re-meet a MONTH ago? Why wasn't he tryna be ur man the first time yall met?
Pretty the only trhing that's giving me pause is the fact that he's asking to be repaid for something he offered to do. And when I said game player I mean that he thinks about his actions towards you instead of just freely being himself with u. I'm always skeptical of that because it's a sign that he may also hold back on other things. Like if u want ur feet massaged then he may be like naw, she don't need that, or I don't wanna spoil her, or whatever. Holding back on doing small financial things for a woman u r supposedly courting is a sign of a reluctance to give her your all IMO lastly....my mom taught me not to date club/bar guys. I know it's 2012 and ish is different now, but I have always kinda stayed wit that. At 40 I'm surprised to read that you met him at the same place he was at last year.
Oh yea, and for him to say if you do this, then I'll do more of that is red flag to me. He should do what he does and if it does not work out the way he wanted, take it as a loss and keep it moving.

oh. now that you explained more, maybe he is cautions to make sure you not using him just for money. He wants a relationship. And some guy do that whole "principle" thing or test you to make you you're not needy, greedy or a user. even though the guy I was dating was full of s*** in some ways and was "cheap" in one of our discussions we had, he was just like "i dont like needy women!" And some times he has opened his wallet and unexpectedly bought me some things. So some guys like to wait and see what's up before they reveal everything to a woman they are dating. 

PrettyPretty said:

I think I want a relationship Ive dated lots of guys and all different types single/with a girlfriend/with a wife/kids no kids and beyond the financial it was never really fulfilling Im at a point I dont want to be the 30yr old heaux still d*** hoppin....I think its a principle thing because we were out for drinks and this random girl just ran up on and started hugging him and he was like hey and introduced me immediately she was like hey im sorry he is like my brother and gave me a hug and whispered in my ear he got money and he a good guy keep him I bust out laughing....He gave me the craziest look and as soon as she walked off he asked what she told me I said that your a nice guy but I think he knew I was lying.Oh,no it was something I needed fixed and he dropped it off for me and he told me how much it was so id interpret that as I have to pay...Yea,I think he is serious he introduces me to everyone as his future wife and he is 10yrs my senior he always say im older and I know the games so maybe he is being cautious and making sure im not just bout money
MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:

I'm with you on this Honey.  Pretty, what do you want outta this relationship is da question?  If it's nothing move on because he can't do what you need him to, bit if it's a real relationship, then you may have to stop thinking all about money. OAN:  it nay be possible that he do have it but it may just be a principle thing.  Did u ask for what he have you or did he just say "here goes 50 for your light bill"
Honeycoated said:

What is it you really want? A man that is "frugal" but will treat you right. Or a man that can spend on you in one day, what it takes others to make in a year, but there's alot of other b******* involved? It's like you cannever really get everything all in one guy. Sweet but cheap. Good d*** but a whore and liar. Baller but boring or bad sex. You gotta see if his good ways may outshine the fact that you cant go shopping the way you want to

i feel like maybe he's been hurt and/or used alot in the past so now it's to the point where he is being more cautious, whereas if Pretty had dated him when they originally met and he hadnt been so scorned yet, she would get what she's used to getting.

Even if a man or woman is a baller, if they keep getting used, they gonna pull back a little. The money they spent might not have made a dent in their bank account, but it was still money wasted on someone who was a user and they start thinking "I want to see if this person really want to be with ME" He said out his mouth he wants to see if you guys are on the same page and if you're worth the effort. I dont blame him.

Love is a Losing Game said:

Oh yea, and for him to say if you do this, then I'll do more of that is red flag to me. He should do what he does and if it does not work out the way he wanted, take it as a loss and keep it moving.
@honey I'm wit u girl. I also think that it can turn into a cycle of 'if u do this then I'll do that' when it comes to other things, not involving money. And if he wants her then he shouldn't be worried about a few pennies in a bucket. I think men will go the distance to get what they want and if there is ever a case where they will sit back and case things out, they don't want it bad enough

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