Ok so I just realized that the women of BA might be my secret weapon in helping me handle something lol. I'll try to keep it as short as possible...


I'm gonna ask you to put yourself in the shoes of my fiance lol.......


You're a 21 year old woman working 10 hours a day with no kids. You moved away from all your family & friends so that you can now live with your soon-to-be husband & you've been doing so for the past year successfully. The only problem is that lately you havent been having much time to spend with your man since both of you have time-demanding jobs and this has lead to your relationship being under strain lately. You now live in a town with not much going for it in the way of nightlife & attractions, which is a big change for you because you grew up in the Los Angeles area where there's normally always lots to do. You've been with your fiance for nearly 3 years now altogether & your relationship has always thrived on spontaneity and laughter.


Now for the question: Taking all of this into account, what are some spontaneous/sweet/creative things that your man could do for you or with you either at home or out around town to add some excitement or joy into your evenings within the time/location restraints of how you're living? Romantic things, fun activities, unique ideas, things that would make you feel like you are making the most out of the limited time that you two have to spend together & getting a much-needed refresher in the relationship


My bag of tricks is a little low at the moment so if you ladies could help me out I'd really appreciate it!!


Thanks in advance!

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well see the problem is that i live in the armpit of california aka bakersfield so most of these arent available ta me but these r all really good(especially the helicopter ride) n ill definitely keep them in mind for our next out of town trip. ive never really considered the scoreboard thing either because ive always thought it was a little corny but now that i'm realistically thinking about it she'd probly love that! thanks!

Monica Amazing said:
Does your city offer helicopter rides of the city? Near water? (sunset cruise/dinner cruise), movies in the park, walking tour at the garden (if your city has a botanical garden), hotair balloon ride, carriage ride, sporting event w/awesome seats and have a special message displayed on the scoreboard(most teams will do this for a fee), two personbike ride tour, find a rooftop lounge and watch the sunset while having drinks, paint your own pottery shop, make your own cupcake/dessert date... Its hard to give suggestion without knowing your city.

Google: Fun things to do in (your city). You'd be surprised what pops up.
true, this is the avenue im usually pretty good about but i havent thought about it recently...hmmm ill haveta see what i can come up with. or something she complains about....hmm yeah this is probably a winner now that you mention it haha multiple things instantly came ta mind in that category lol

PrettyPretty said:
I personally find it nice when someone does something they haven't done in a long time like what he did to first get me.....Sometimes people get complacent think about somethings you did in the beginning that you use to do that you stopped doing or something she constantly complains about (if she does)
yeah my town's pretty much a dead end as far as activities go, i doubt i could find a crawfish here period, much less a festival haha. a jazz concert's definitely something ive been wanting ta take her to for a long time because she's never been, same with fishing but i'm thinkin that might b a little too outdoorsey for her lol. I've kinda thought about the massage/pampering idea...hmmm well what would a full night of pampering consist of ideally? I'm kind of a novice in that area lol..

I know where i live we have the weekender paper that tells whats goin on. check out the living section in the newspaper and it should tell u of different thing going on such as crawfish festivals, jazz conerts, and things like that. a lot of ppl dont know so they dont go to these type of things. also try go online and type in events in your cty. Try a picnic @ a park, lake or s.thing. do you fish? has she ever been? even if yall dont catch anything, just being together and trying may work. go to a nearby city and see what they have goin on. plan a night with friends or other couples playing board games and cards. plan a massage, pampering night for her with you doing all the pampering...it may not be righ tbu tjst the thought and u guys should have fun doing it.
wooooooooow......this is a serious list....*still reading*
yeah these are ALL really good wow....ok im just gonna print this out & hide it somewhere hahaha
im normally pretty good at being romantic but getting the actual female persepective is something i shoulda done a LONG time ago!
thanks a mil & ill b sure tell u how it works out when i do some things off this list because im sure i will!

Starr said:
This is so sweet! I'm not sure where you are, but here is a list of ideas/suggestions that I thought of:
1. Pick an evening out of the week that is designated for date night and take turns planning the outing (dinner and movie gets redundant after awhile)
2. You can try booking a couples session at a spa- get a couple's massage, mani/pedi, facial (don't be shamed to do this as a guy. It's okay if you are doing it with your sweetie)
3. You can also do some at home pampering by getting some bath salts or a bath bomb from Lush.com or wherever and then put rose petals in the bath water. Also, light lots of candles, get some massage oil and rub her down after she gets out of the bath, and make a mix CD with all romantic songs. You rap, right? So, then write her a poem or a rhyme- maybe even make her a song and perform it.
4. Plan a mini-vacay. Drive out to somewhere pretty in your town and book a room for the night for the two of you. Plan out activites for the evening/morning so the two of you are not just staring each other in the face, lol.
5. If you live near the beach, wake up really early and make a picnic basket with breakfast items. Drive out to the beach and watch the sunrise together and then have breakfast. Be sure to look up what time the sun rises.
6. Go see a live band perform some music. Maybe if they have an open mic, perform your love song to her there (but pick one place to perform the song. Don't do this and #3- overkill).
7. Cook her dinner. I'm talking about a 5 course meal, flowers, etc.
8. Wash her hair.
9. Plan her a surprise party with all of her friends and family from her hometown for her b-day or some other special occasion.
10. If there is a spring or a creek in your area where people go canoeing or swimming, take her there for a nice outdoor activity.
11. Go camping.
12. Take a vacation to a caribbean island. Bahamas is pretty close and economical, but that depends on what state you live in.
13. Go to a local festival, like jazz, arts, or something of that nature.
14. Find something that she really misses from home and try and get it for her, or recreate it.
15. Save up to take a trip overseas to Africa, Europe, Australia, etc.
16. Go to a seminar about investing together and make up a little game to start planning for a fruitful financial future (may not seem that romantic, but you can make it fun)
17. Plan an enchanting evening by hiding clues around all day, like a scavenger hunt. Almost like that Case video with Beyonce. Buy her a nice sexy dress, schedule an appointment at her favorite salon and pre-pay for it, and then send a car to take her to a nice restaurant.
18. Leave post-its all over the house and in her car in unusual places with sweet messages and play a game to see how long it will take her to find them all.
19. Give her a week off of all domestic duties, such as cleaning, cooking, washing, etc.
20. Rent a fly car (exotic or maybe a convertible) and take a drive to nowhere. Just bring some good music and an overnight bag, just in case.

That's all I have for now, but I hope something works. Good luck! :)
just googled it & yeah we have 1 in my city tho i'd never heard of it before n i dont think she has either lol
these are really nice! she'd love something like this i might have ta go scoop one up today actually. thanks a lot!

true, there IS one of those in town, they just opened up too i think!
you're a sweetheart for looking that up for me thanks a bunch kat i'll have ta write that 1 down

Kit Kat said:
Mini-Golf... Its fun and it can be romantic... It will give you two the chance to feel like kids again :-) I looked it up (your profile mentions Bakersfield) and there's a glow in the dark mini-golf place in your area....
No Problem... Glad to help :-)

Rev said:
true, there IS one of those in town, they just opened up too i think!
you're a sweetheart for looking that up for me thanks a bunch kat i'll have ta write that 1 down

Kit Kat said:
Mini-Golf... Its fun and it can be romantic... It will give you two the chance to feel like kids again :-) I looked it up (your profile mentions Bakersfield) and there's a glow in the dark mini-golf place in your area....
true these kinda things r normally winners with her
i do have a pretty good bag of tricks so ive done alot of these lol(not the note in the purse thing tho, i like that one!)
yeah a pair of new phones r definitely on the wish list i didnt kno they had video talk that definitely makes convos alot more interesting lol
n yeah my bedroom GPA is pretty high right now so im good there lol not tryna sound cocky
so iphones and purse notes....*writing*
thanks cali!

california said:
small things player, small things...fresh flowers, short walks, movie nights, cooking, massages, baths, intimate little notes placed n her purse, clothing pocket etc, hotel getaways, the new i phones- u can see each other when talking, work her a$$ out in bed....treat her how you would like to be treated.
haha thanks, thank you ladies tho for being so helpful! ive been a member for months, shoulda came ta the experts a long time ago!

smittysBBQsauce said:
Awwww Rev.......I think you've just tied the Don for my favorite dude on here lol
ooooo i like this 1 alot, stuff like this is how i got her in the first place lol
i hope ur cousin's man doesnt mind me swaggerjackin him a little cause this is A-1 material haha
quick question tho, dont make fun of me if i sound like a noob lol:
what is the very best kind/style of manicure & pedicure and how much would it cost at the average salon?

oh & thanks mucho sweetheart!

Ashley Banks said:
Ooooo! I have some cousins going through something similar (they've moved to a small town that is just DEAD on the nights and weekends). What you can do is talk to a few businesses that offer things she likes, and plan a scavenger hunt, and she'll go to each one and they'll have something you've bought/arranged waiting for her. My cousin is a girly girl, plays volleyball, and sings in her church's choir. Her husband had her clues set up similar to this:
1) Go purchase new volleyball equipment w/a gift card for about $25 for her to get some shorts/knee pads
2) Go to music store and purchase new music books and CDs w/another gift card
3) Go get a manicure and a pedicure (he paid for the services in advance)
4) Go have lunch at Restaurant X and he met her at the restaurant and they had a nice lunch and went somewhere else.

I know they are on a budget, so he had to figure out how to scrape up $150 out of their tight budget on payday. He also did it as a way for her to see what their town had to offer because their schedules are totally different (she works overnight at a hospital) and she's not the type to venture out alone.

GOOD LUCK!!!!! I hope your fiance realizes she is a very lucky woman.
definitely, i can see how this is a really good 1, i plan on utilizing it asap!

CCDreamer aka Eve Davis said:
I am a huge fan of this. It reminds her of how much you care even when you aren't around.

california said:
small things player, small things...fresh flowers, short walks, movie nights, cooking, massages, baths, intimate little notes placed n her purse, clothing pocket etc, hotel getaways, the new i phones- u can see each other when talking, work her a$$ out in bed....treat her how you would like to be treated.
definitely i was just thinking that, you're right on my page! i've got enough material here ta be mixing, matching, & combining for a while lo
of course, ill b sure ta update u & all the ladies on everything!
her fav meal delivered ta the room, she wont expect that 1 at all thats good

thanks again devyn ur a big help!

Devyn AKA Dominique Devereaux said:
Rev, you can incorporate a lot of the ladies' suggestions into booking the hotel.
Buy bath salts, massage oils, etc and go from there. You can trick out the room to her liking: her favorite flowers, a meal from her fave restaurant delivered to the room (if possible), a few bottles of her fave wine...you get the idea.

Have fun with it and let us know how it works!

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