I have a question ladies. Does there ever come a time when you can have a healthly co-parenting relationship with your child's father. It has been almost 2 years already. And I want to point out that I have not f**ked him since he left. It's like he is bi-polar or something. I thought we had gotten to a place where we could actually be friends and do what's best for the child but ooohh nooo. One minute we can be laughing and joking and the next minute, I am ruining his life. And just as quick, he is back laughing/joking. To the BD's on here, your insight would be appreciated.

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Going through the same thing. I don't even mess with the ninja. He is a black cloud. Momma gonna work it out,momma gonna work it out.

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Do you think it's because we dont mess with them? When I talk to women I know, it seems that my BD is the only man on the face of the earth that isn't get any from his BM.

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I haven't messed with mine since he left. I don't know what it is... I guess he is use to a certain type of drama. I've moved on and I thought we could be civil, but it's like pulling teeth. He acts like he is bi-polar also. I don't have any time to deal with his fuck ups, so I don't even bother. He will have to take this up with the lord and his son. I wish he would stop telling me his whereabout because I don't care. Why call me to give me your new number and when I call, you have an attitude? I am not built for Maury/Jerry show drama.

smitty said:
Do you think it's because we dont mess with them? When I talk to women I know, it seems that my BD is the only man on the face of the earth that isn't get any from his BM.

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LOL, Drama sums it up perfectly. I let my daughter go over his house every weekend, that is until he committed the mother of all f**k-ups. But even after that, did i kill him? No, I invited him over for Father's Day dinner. He didn't show, but that was even better. Anyhoo, he messed up. Having to visit me when he visits her, is his fault. He ruined his life, not me. But instead of admitting he was wrong and accepting the consequences, he continues to blame me (when he is not trying to buy some azz from me). I suppose if I had low self-esteem, that would work.

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I just got off the phone with him. This thread had me thinking... The convo went well, but I still caught a headache.

smitty said:
LOL, Drama sums it up perfectly. I let my daughter go over his house every weekend, that is until he committed the mother of all f**k-ups. But even after that, did i kill him? No, I invited him over for Father's Day dinner. He didn't show, but that was even better. Anyhoo, he messed up. Having to visit me when he visits her, is his fault. He ruined his life, not me. But instead of admitting he was wrong and accepting the consequences, he continues to blame me (when he is not trying to buy some azz from me). I suppose if I had low self-esteem, that would work.

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if it isn't about the kids don't discuss it. PERIOD. If you can't get any act right, LET IT GO completely... someone has to be happy, healthy & sane to raise the kids... when BD sees you are not gonna put up with the bull he will get his act together, and if not oh well...

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Watch your back. i'm starting to feel like whenever the convo goes well, it's because he wants something he knows he's not going to get and a tantrum is sure to follow.

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Having a 13 & 15 year old I can honestly say for the 1st 5 years after my BD and I broke up it was HELL ON WHEELS.... Like you said 1minute things were GRAVY then outta no wea it was DRAMA.... I personally feel until they move on emotionally they will not let go of bring the DRAMA to you one way or the other.... He has other children now and I can say we been offically FRIENDS for the last 8 years...... :-)

NOW on the other hand I just had a NEW baby (8 weeks ago) and it is by a YOUNG'IN.... I got HELL on my hands no matter HOW mature I attempt to be this man likes to HIT that NICCA button.... WTF!!!!!


Good Luck Babez :-)

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That's all I wanted to hear, that this too shall pass. But DAMN, 5 YEARS. They need to grow up.

Tiff-Tiff C said:
Having a 13 & 15 year old I can honestly say for the 1st 5 years after my BD and I broke up it was HELL ON WHEELS.... Like you said 1minute things were GRAVY then outta no wea it was DRAMA.... I personally feel until they move on emotionally they will not let go of bring the DRAMA to you one way or the other.... He has other children now and I can say we been offically FRIENDS for the last 8 years...... :-)

NOW on the other hand I just had a NEW baby (8 weeks ago) and it is by a YOUNG'IN.... I got HELL on my hands no matter HOW mature I attempt to be this man likes to HIT that NICCA button.... WTF!!!!!


Good Luck Babez :-)

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Yes girl 5 years... I thought five was just a number I made up, lol. But I see it's true. This is why I always tell females, don't get involved with a man with a child under 5. Meaning, he is still going back and forth with the BM. After 5 years, it is what it is. In my case, it's after 5 years.

smitty said:
That's all I wanted to hear, that this too shall pass. But DAMN, 5 YEARS. They need to grow up.

Tiff-Tiff C said:
Having a 13 & 15 year old I can honestly say for the 1st 5 years after my BD and I broke up it was HELL ON WHEELS.... Like you said 1minute things were GRAVY then outta no wea it was DRAMA.... I personally feel until they move on emotionally they will not let go of bring the DRAMA to you one way or the other.... He has other children now and I can say we been offically FRIENDS for the last 8 years...... :-)

NOW on the other hand I just had a NEW baby (8 weeks ago) and it is by a YOUNG'IN.... I got HELL on my hands no matter HOW mature I attempt to be this man likes to HIT that NICCA button.... WTF!!!!!


Good Luck Babez :-)

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WOW!!!!!!! I can't imagine. Men are really a trip. I mean I did have a hard time with the break-up in the begining and 2 years later I am so far removed but 5 YEARS. And he called himself leaving me.
I do kind of remember when my aunt and uncle divorced. I hated to see him at any family functions because all he did was cry about her. I dont think it went on for 5YEARS though. I just want yall to know that I do not deserve this. I have never harrassed anybody about anything. Pray for me, because at that rate I have 3.5 years to go.
Tab said:
Yes girl 5 years... I thought five was just a number I made up, lol. But I see it's true. This is why I always tell females, don't get involved with a man with a child under 5. Meaning, he is still going back and forth with the BM. After 5 years, it is what it is. In my case, it's after 5 years.

smitty said:
That's all I wanted to hear, that this too shall pass. But DAMN, 5 YEARS. They need to grow up.

Tiff-Tiff C said:
Having a 13 & 15 year old I can honestly say for the 1st 5 years after my BD and I broke up it was HELL ON WHEELS.... Like you said 1minute things were GRAVY then outta no wea it was DRAMA.... I personally feel until they move on emotionally they will not let go of bring the DRAMA to you one way or the other.... He has other children now and I can say we been offically FRIENDS for the last 8 years...... :-)

NOW on the other hand I just had a NEW baby (8 weeks ago) and it is by a YOUNG'IN.... I got HELL on my hands no matter HOW mature I attempt to be this man likes to HIT that NICCA button.... WTF!!!!!


Good Luck Babez :-)

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im no one's BD but i am a BM, what you have to do and this is not just so ish from off the top of my head this is from my own experience, be the bigger person. I've been divorced from my BD for 4yrs, it was very ugly in the begining, but i had to learn to be the bigger person. eventually they realize what jackasses they look like and act like that they start to think to themselves may be this is why she isnt w/ me. i dont know how old your child is, but mine are teenagers so which means they have thier own cells etc etc. so therefore if i choose not to communicate w/ him i dont have to, but if you do have to find a mutual person the 2 of you can communicate throught until the two of you can be civilized. remeber your stuck w/ one another for the rest of your life so why not try to be civil. REMEBER BE THE BIGGER PERSON ITS NOT EASY, BUT YOU'LL BE FINE IN THE END,. hope everything works out for you girl

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