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Ballers and Babies
Everytime I meet a guy tht has a kid, I cringe a little. Ive passed up opportunities to have relationships with ballers and regular guys b/c of it. My problem is I look too far into the future and remind myself of things like "my first child wont be his first child" "the baby mama will always be around" and "the child will always come first" and although I would expect a real man to put his child first, it would still bother me to come last. My logic is im almost 22 years old, no kids, abt to graduate college. Im free to do anything. A man with a child cant do that. I like being free. I figure once im 30, and my biological clock is beginning to tick, then I would be more able to date a man with a child. Idk, am I tripping? How do you ladies feel abt dating a many with churrn (children)?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by J.a Beauty on -
No your not your young you don't need to be dealing with babies & prossible being a young step mother. We think alike on this subject I'm not about to be second to no child leave that to the women who don't want kids. You have to be cautious when dating a "real" man because there child is there life & any little thing you do in regards to the child will be scutinzed it's just to much pressure & drama. Were young & we have options when we hit 30 we'll probably have to deal with it because realistically speaking most people start families in there 20's.for right now we can be picky don't change your preference to suite anyone when you can find a good man with no kids.
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on -
Somebody check the temp in Hell because I agree and have seen this happen. More than once!
Tone said:A kid will be quick to let you know that your not their daddy. It hard to really try with a kid and see them have more respect for someone that does nothing for them.
Love is a Losing Game said:How does a deadbeat get more respect?
Tone said:Try being a man and deal with the kid 24/7 and have the kid dead beat dad get more respact then you when you paying the bills and being a real dad to them
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on
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My mind is always on my money. It is hard to come by nowadays. So I'm always stopping and asking: How does this affect my household income?
Love is a Losing Game said:Yes, Yes, Yes! NOT my money, Honey!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:I think like this. too. I can't take a guy seriously who has a child. We can be friends and kick it if there is chemistry but not a LTR. Nope. In my mind is the fact that if you marry him then the BM or BMs can go back to court and ask for an increase in child support if you are bringing any ends into the marriage. I'm bringing ends. I didn't f** for that kid and I ain't supporting it either. F** what you heard.
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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on -
haha I like that! Youre the definition of a baller. Real talk!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:My mind is always on my money. It is hard to come by nowadays. So I'm always stopping and asking: How does this affect my household income?
Love is a Losing Game said:Yes, Yes, Yes! NOT my money, Honey!
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:I think like this. too. I can't take a guy seriously who has a child. We can be friends and kick it if there is chemistry but not a LTR. Nope. In my mind is the fact that if you marry him then the BM or BMs can go back to court and ask for an increase in child support if you are bringing any ends into the marriage. I'm bringing ends. I didn't f** for that kid and I ain't supporting it either. F** what you heard.
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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on
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im glad im not alone! and youre so right, i know so many ppl from HS who are less than 23 with 2 and 3 kids o_O its outrageous!
J.a Beauty said:No your not your young you don't need to be dealing with babies & prossible being a young step mother. We think alike on this subject I'm not about to be second to no child leave that to the women who don't want kids. You have to be cautious when dating a "real" man because there child is there life & any little thing you do in regards to the child will be scutinzed it's just to much pressure & drama. Were young & we have options when we hit 30 we'll probably have to deal with it because realistically speaking most people start families in there 20's.for right now we can be picky don't change your preference to suite anyone when you can find a good man with no kids.
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Permalink Reply by DdoubleD on -
I completely feel where you are coming from. I’m 22 and I’m not even thinking about kids. A lot of time men who meet me are surprised I don’t have kids, they say that it is rare to find a woman that doesn’t have kids. There are PLENTY of men without kids, the best thing to do if you find out he has kids just leave his ass in the friends zone! Don’t even waste your time.
The only upside to dating someone who has kids is you get a peek at what type of parent they are. I’ve dated a guy whose parenting style was all off and that was a major a turn off.
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Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on -
Right hand to God, I was thinking the same thing. I totally agree with Tone. It is way easier to deal with a man who is a father than it is to deal with a woman that is a mother, as the former is usually a part time thing and the latter is not.
Look, if you find a man that has a child (no multiples unless they were previously married), don't let that deter you. If you really care about him, the least of your issues will be a woman who doesn't even live in your household. I wouldn't seek out men with children if I were you, but I wouldn't shun them either. Even when you date a men without children, you still have to deal with jealous, hating ass ex girlfriends. Thus, if you want him and believe he is of upstanding character, don't worry about whether he has children.
P.S. In the event you marry a man with children and the child's mother sues for child support, just have a baby (or two) and get her s*** reduced *BOOM* ---> *SALTY FACE*
CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:
Somebody check the temp in Hell because I agree and have seen this happen. More than once!
Tone said:A kid will be quick to let you know that your not their daddy. It hard to really try with a kid and see them have more respect for someone that does nothing for them.
Love is a Losing Game said:How does a deadbeat get more respect?
Tone said:Try being a man and deal with the kid 24/7 and have the kid dead beat dad get more respact then you when you paying the bills and being a real dad to them
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Permalink Reply by DB on -
I agree, I don't do kids as a general rule, no exceptions lol I do love kids but I'm in that selfish stage of life where I feel like if I'd like to do something special for an anniversary or vday, his ass shouldn't have to check with his baby mama for permission first or check his childs daycare schedule NO MA'AM. Besides that, I want parenthood to be a first time experience for both me and my husband.. I don't want to have my first child and he can damn near deliver the baby because he's seen the inside of a delivery room a few times before.. Also I have experienced one man with a child before (didn't know he had a child until we had been talking for a month) and I always felt like I was coming last and to hear his gripes about his baby's mother made me stop answering his calls very quickly
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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on
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I know, guys are always shocked i dnt have any! Lol and I
Agree. I think thats the only benefit to dating someone w/ a kid
Dominique said:I completely feel where you are coming from. I’m 22 and I’m not even thinking about kids. A lot of time men who meet me are surprised I don’t have kids, they say that it is rare to find a woman that doesn’t have kids. There are PLENTY of men without kids, the best thing to do if you find out he has kids just leave his ass in the friends zone! Don’t even waste your time.
The only upside to dating someone who has kids is you get a peek at what type of parent they are. I’ve dated a guy whose parenting style was all off and that was a major a turn off.
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on -
She still wants to be with her baby daddy...
Ms. BoiBye said:Yeah I have a friend who is married and her kids father is in jail. She will have her husband paying a outrageous phone bill for the kids to speak to their dad, but they are quick to remind him that they not listening to him. She is having issues now because her BD family believes her husband is too hard on her son. But I told her that she needs to let him be the man of the house and tell her son to stop telling his family what goes on in their home. So I feel you on that!
Tone said:A kid will be quick to let you know that your not their daddy. It hard to really try with a kid and see them have more respect for someone that does nothing for them.
Love is a Losing Game said:How does a deadbeat get more respect?
Tone said:Try being a man and deal with the kid 24/7 and have the kid dead beat dad get more respact then you when you paying the bills and being a real dad to them
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on
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Tone, I've seen it too, and 9 times out of 10 those women still want to be with the no good baby daddy... They are also raising their children to be disrespectful oil brats...
I say that because yes, it's natural for children to be skeptical of the new guy/girl... But kids also know (w/out telling them) where their bread is buttered... So if your boo's children are disrespectful to you, it's learned behavior.
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