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Ballers and Babies

Everytime I meet a guy tht has a kid, I cringe a little. Ive passed up opportunities to have relationships with ballers and regular guys b/c of it. My problem is I look too far into the future and remind myself of things like "my first child wont be his first child" "the baby mama will always be around" and "the child will always come first" and although I would expect a real man to put his child first, it would still bother me to come last. My logic is im almost 22 years old, no kids, abt to graduate college. Im free to do anything. A man with a child cant do that. I like being free. I figure once im 30, and my biological clock is beginning to tick, then I would be more able to date a man with a child. Idk, am I tripping? How do you ladies feel abt dating a many with churrn (children)?

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Permalink Reply by Isabella on April 12, 2012 at 1:59am

I know with the type of guys I like kids pretty much ALWAYS come with that package lol BUT the few guys im eyeing now dont have kids but I know that could change in an instant lol But Im with you,Im NOT feeling the BM drama but what can you do about it lol

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on April 12, 2012 at 2:12am

I'm 30 and still refuse to date a man with kids. If I meet a dude and I like him and stuff, and he's talking about marriage, I MAY be able to handle ONE child. Two, NOPE! If I'm just kickin it wit this dude, I don't care about his LIFE, lol so his kids don't matter to me. But to settle down with?? He gots to be a good catch and I can't do more than one child, and I would prefer that child to be like 10 or 12, lol. I meet A LOT of men 30 and over that have good credentials and do not have kids. Don't believe the hype and don't settle.

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Permalink Reply by Brii on April 12, 2012 at 2:39am

Honestly I'm not sure as of right now NO lol but who knows what the future may bring.. Never say never

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on April 12, 2012 at 9:44am

I think like this. too. I can't take a guy seriously who has a child. We can be friends and kick it if there is chemistry but not a LTR. Nope. In my mind is the fact that if you marry him then the BM or BMs can go back to court and ask for an increase in child support if you are bringing any ends into the marriage. I'm bringing ends. I didn't f** for that kid and I ain't supporting it either. F** what you heard.

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on April 12, 2012 at 9:45am

Try being a man and deal with the kid 24/7 and have the kid dead beat dad get more respact then you when you paying the bills and being a real dad to them

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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on April 12, 2012 at 10:17am

Yeah the baby mama drama is not for me. Some adults can make it work but thts still not a road i want to go down

Isabella said:

I know with the type of guys I like kids pretty much ALWAYS come with that package lol BUT the few guys im eyeing now dont have kids but I know that could change in an instant lol But Im with you,Im NOT feeling the BM drama but what can you do about it lol

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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on April 12, 2012 at 10:18am

Where are these men? Lol its like EVERYONE i like, has a kid. Smh and sometimes thats the only flaw

Love is a Losing Game said:

I'm 30 and still refuse to date a man with kids. If I meet a dude and I like him and stuff, and he's talking about marriage, I MAY be able to handle ONE child. Two, NOPE! If I'm just kickin it wit this dude, I don't care about his LIFE, lol so his kids don't matter to me. But to settle down with?? He gots to be a good catch and I can't do more than one child, and I would prefer that child to be like 10 or 12, lol. I meet A LOT of men 30 and over that have good credentials and do not have kids. Don't believe the hype and don't settle.

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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on April 12, 2012 at 10:20am

I didnt even think of it like that. Thats sooo true and some women are nasty like that too. They know they cant be w/ the man so they try to hurt him but wind up hurtin the other woman. I cant have that!!

CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:

I think like this. too. I can't take a guy seriously who has a child. We can be friends and kick it if there is chemistry but not a LTR. Nope. In my mind is the fact that if you marry him then the BM or BMs can go back to court and ask for an increase in child support if you are bringing any ends into the marriage. I'm bringing ends. I didn't f** for that kid and I ain't supporting it either. F** what you heard.

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Permalink Reply by Siren on April 12, 2012 at 10:22am

There are men 30+ witout kids...I married one.. They aren't plentiful but they are out there. I like others didn't want my FIRST child being last on anyones list especially not their fathers. I want the experience of havign OUR first child together. You have to decide what is important to you and stick with it.

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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on April 12, 2012 at 10:25am

Lol im trying so hard not to settle

Brii said:

Honestly I'm not sure as of right now NO lol but who knows what the future may bring.. Never say never

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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on April 12, 2012 at 10:27am

I use to like dating men with kids because they are not up your ass all the time and they have priorities. I still keep in touch with my exes kids and his BM. She was real cool, when him and I got serious she came to me like a woman. She said if you are going to be around my kids then I need to know what type of person you are. Which i had no issue with. I think me and her got along better than me and him, LOL. But I have had to slap this dude babby momma one time, so I have been on both sides of the fence.

I refuse to date a man who does not take care of his kids because you are a selfish bastard, if you will take care of me and mines, but not your own. I have a child and I wish someone would date my BD, so he can stop minding my damn business. But I see you ladies points but it is not a deal breaker for me because I love other ppl's kids you can give they ass back at the end of the day.

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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on April 12, 2012 at 10:29am

I understand the plight of a black man with a child. I know there are somethings women do that arent right in the situation. Like force him on child support when he is the one caring for and spending money on the child already. Or giving ultimatums to either be with her or lose his privledges. I have so much respect for men who are in their kids lives or at least trying to be. And b/c of tht, it makes it hard for someone like me to be in a relationship w/ someone who has kids. Who wants that added stress?

Tone said:

Try being a man and deal with the kid 24/7 and have the kid dead beat dad get more respact then you when you paying the bills and being a real dad to them