Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by blackfujones on July 18, 2012 at 12:16pm

exactly lol...

Baller Alert said:

lol.. they feel the same about us too. We all look alike.
blackfujones said:

to be quite honest ive never seen a white woman who actually looked beautiful..they all look the same to me

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on July 18, 2012 at 12:18pm

We're told to accept everyone and be willing and able to love everyone else but the fact of the matter is as a race we're the most hated by far.  They cant stand our a****

Love is a Losing Game said:

I'm with you Boss. I feel like we are the ones who try to ignore race, like its irrevelant or doesn't matter. We are very accepting of other races but most of them are not as accepting of us. And the other day u mentioned a white girl classmate and said she was considered a wigger; most white folk who 'accept' us or ignore race are the same ones who 'act' black or stereotypically 'not white' like MGK from last week's race debate lol

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on July 18, 2012 at 12:19pm

can I ask what made you open up to men of other races?
Baller Alert said:

I'm not going to sit here and act like color is NOT an issue... it is. We are living it everyday.. ask Barack Obama. Since he has been in office racism that was rather silent has become LOUD like it was in the 60s.

With all the drama in relationships.. dating someone of another race will add to the drama. I would prefer to date and marry a black man.. but since I have left my comfort zone I would be open to dating other races. But trust me I want to date my own... that is my PREFERENCE.

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Permalink Reply by Baller Alert on July 18, 2012 at 12:23pm

My travels abroad...

Tone said:

can I ask what made you open up to men of other races?
Baller Alert said:

I'm not going to sit here and act like color is NOT an issue... it is. We are living it everyday.. ask Barack Obama. Since he has been in office racism that was rather silent has become LOUD like it was in the 60s.

With all the drama in relationships.. dating someone of another race will add to the drama. I would prefer to date and marry a black man.. but since I have left my comfort zone I would be open to dating other races. But trust me I want to date my own... that is my PREFERENCE.

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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on July 18, 2012 at 12:44pm

both of my parents are African, so me even dating black (american) men was out of the question to begin with. When i got over that, I got over everything because at the end of the day, I've been raised in primarily white neighborhoods, lived in black neighborhoods, went to a mexican school, etc & i adapted. My first boyfriend in 1st grade was mexican. majority of my BF's were black. My son has 3 races in him. I've grown up around so many races & have seen so many people of so many races who share a lot in common with me that skin color isn't that high on my list. 

It's highly possible for race to not be a factor if you grew up your whole life without race being a factor. 

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on July 18, 2012 at 1:25pm

@Eleven if dating black american men was out of the question, then race was a factor in your life, imo. And since both of ur parents are african, do u consider yourself african? Or african american? Or american?

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Permalink Reply by DdoubleD on July 18, 2012 at 1:52pm

It seems to me that you have never really had fun dating so you view dating to either have sex or try to marry someone.  My favorite part of dating is gettig to know someone, traveling, going on actual dates and enjoying eachothers company.  If a relationship pans out then great, if not at least I made a new friend.

Love is a Losing Game said:

The fun dating is when I needed some peen, but KNEW I didnt really want this dude, lol. *hangs head in shame* but hey. And, I will think about the new experiences. Can't say i'm sold but this convo kinda helped me see a different perspective. Thanks Ma'am
KrystyyyMia said:

Contradiction. (Bolded)

Anywho, I never mentioned that I'm dating a dude because I think he's the one. Dating is fun. Dating doesn't necessarily mean sexing. For some, it could, for me, not so much. --But-- if the connection is there, and/or I simply need a dicking down, then guess what? I'm grown.

Also, I don't 'try' this and that, and I do know my value. I'm young, having fun! Meeting people, making friends, DATING. And through all of this, I know the right man will come along, red, yellow, black or white. 

On the other hand, I'm happy you had a change of heart [a more recent comment, you can thank me for that leering statement ;)]. And trust me when I say, Black men have been in my life from the start, GREAT black men have raise me. I'm the youngest of 7, all brothers, a male dominant family. Some have married black women, some of other races, some still playing the field. It's never been about race. My very first boyfriend I brought home was Mexican, the next Black & PuertoRican, they all 'accepted' him, although they still acted like the 'scary over protective older brothers' of course. But they'll do that with a black man, a white man, a yellow man, and a purple man. 

Open your mind to new experiences! Easier said than done, I know. But living your life with an open mind will take you places that you could have never imagined. Trust me! 

Love is a Losing Game said:

For me, the only point of sharing dating is to get married. I mean that's the real point. I have dated some dudes I knew I would not marry, but honestly that was just for fun. You guys are talking about dating others as if they are the one, and I could not see myself with an other, so there would be no point in dating. People I get to know are called "friends" and most of them have not had sex with me. I am not married, nor am I waiting on the one black man who will marry me, I am waiting to choose the black man I want to marry. I don't remember what you went through, but self refelction is always good. Please dont be out here just trying this and that until u catch a keeper. Know what you want and what your value is, then your keeper will find you.  I don;t think I am closed minded, but I do think yall are judging me for not wanting an other, but in the same breath saying I should not disagree with yall for considering an other. I'm just simply saying, I don;t think it's for me.
KrystyyyMia said:

So the ONLY point of dating is to get married? You can't get to know people on the way? Then why date, might as well have a prearranged marriage. Are you married? Or do you just wait around for that one black man to date and marry you. Have the black men you've dated in the past proposed to you? I actually feel sorry that your mind is so closed to interracial relationships. You shouldn't knock it, but I guess it's not for everyone...and that's just too bad. And it's definitely, definitely not about f****** something new, hell, any one can do that with one race...so that's irrelevant. 

Also, looking inside myself, doing the self-reflection, has nothing to do with the race of the man I will end up with. Most of y'all know I went through it a few months back (thank ya'll for helping me with that by the way), and nothing during my meditation and talks with God said "You MUST marry a certain kind". I hope I don't sound rude, but I feel strongly about this and truly cannot understand why, in 2012, people judge others for their decision and frown upon interracial relationships. 

Love is a Losing Game said:

I'ma just ask this and then quit stirring the pot(lol), but for those of you who have dated all these other races, how many of them have proposed to you?? Just wondering. The point of dating is not to just be "sampling" sexy folk, but to meet a partner.  all this interracial stuff to me is just about f'kin something new. If sex was not in the equation, then friends wouldn't seem so far fetched. Some, SOME of yall are not going to find what you are looking for until you look inside yourself. It seems so simple but it is the thing that most of us don't want to do (self-refelction). KrystyyyMia said:

Exactly to Miss and Eleven8, it's not about the color of your skin, it's about what defines the person and how the person treats you. Like a few others, I grew up with diversity, saw different races date other races etc. No one ever said, "You can date whomever you want, so long as you marry black". It's never been an issue. As long and that man treats me right, we can grow together, make amazing happen, then that's it! I think we'll all become racially ambiguous eventually. 

I've dated black, white, Puerto Rican and a few other sexy mixtures. If you're one to limit yourself to dating "only one" race whether it be black, Cuban, Chinese, I feel bad for you. Expose yourself to something new! You'll probably fall in love. If not, that's fine, more options for me :) 

MissMidwest said:

All of this! When I was younger, I never even thought of dating any other man than a white man because I was so narrow-minded and I thought it was "wrong", and then one guy really opened my eyes to what I had been missing. Why wouldn't somebody want to date outside of their race? Race doesn't define the person, their personality and morals do, why discriminate against someone just because of where they came from or what color their skin is?     Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time. Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on July 18, 2012 at 2:05pm

I had fun dating, the experiences and getting to know people. I kinda feel like guys don't spend money on dates without it being for a reason: they are interested in a relationship, possibly with me or they wanna hit this. There was this guy that ienjoyed goung places with andoverall had a good time, but I could not see myself giving him not and def never being in a relationship with him. Istarted to feel like I was using him or at least that he felt he was being used because he was spending his money on me, but ididnt want to do anything besides hang with him. He even said that he was spending money on me so he felt that I should be in a relationship with him or at LEAST give him some. I ctfu, lol because.....I guess I shouldn't have let him be taking me out if I wasn't interested in him. I just in the last year or so began considering marriage so in the past dating was for fun or a relationship if it presented itself. Now I only date guys I have a real interest in. Imo fun dating can become a waste of time. Ucan have that same fun with a man who sees you as a (potential) partner, so no more dark dart shooting for me.....unless I get bored. Lol

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Permalink Reply by DdoubleD on July 18, 2012 at 2:20pm

You have to get out of that mind set, “guys don’t spend money on dates without it being for a reason”. The reason is you are so special that they just want to spend time with you! A real man doesn’t give a s*** about spending a couple of dollars going to a few dinners and events. Anytime someone feels the should get some for dating you, you know that they are NOT the one for you. Once you go on a couple of dates, I think it’s wrong to pick up the bill or pack a picnic or make dinner for someone, this shows that you are grateful and you are not just using them! I think that method should be used for ANY kind of dating whether your dating for marriage or not. Dating is suppose to be fun especially if you are dating someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The dates with you’re a potential husband candidate should be the best dates in the world!

Fellas if you like a woman do you take her dates and when do you begin to start feeling used? How can a woman show you that she’s not using that she just values herself and wants to get to know you before jumping into a relationship or the bed with you? Tone and Black what do yall think?

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Permalink Reply by Bonita on July 18, 2012 at 2:53pm

Yes especially to the highlighted part. I tend to make dinner for a dude am interested in after a couple of dates and they tend to appreciate the fact I took the time to do that for them. I have gotten tickets to sporting events as thank you as well. The little things count both ways. Now again this treatment is not meant for everyone :)

DdoubleD said:

You have to get out of that mind set, “guys don’t spend money on dates without it being for a reason”. The reason is you are so special that they just want to spend time with you! A real man doesn’t give a s*** about spending a couple of dollars going to a few dinners and events. Anytime someone feels the should get some for dating you, you know that they are NOT the one for you. Once you go on a couple of dates, I think it’s wrong to pick up the bill or pack a picnic or make dinner for someone, this shows that you are grateful and you are not just using them! I think that method should be used for ANY kind of dating whether your dating for marriage or not. Dating is suppose to be fun especially if you are dating someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The dates with you’re a potential husband candidate should be the best dates in the world!

Fellas if you like a woman do you take her dates and when do you begin to start feeling used? How can a woman show you that she’s not using that she just values herself and wants to get to know you before jumping into a relationship or the bed with you? Tone and Black what do yall think?

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on July 18, 2012 at 3:06pm

If a woman really likes you I feel she won't trip on where you take her as long as she has fun and you make a decent effort. I think a lot of time we get caught up in thinking women are all about money when she just wants a man to show effort. A lot of the thing Women do goes unseen. t
DdoubleD said:

You have to get out of that mind set, “guys don’t spend money on dates without it being for a reason”. The reason is you are so special that they just want to spend time with you! A real man doesn’t give a s*** about spending a couple of dollars going to a few dinners and events. Anytime someone feels the should get some for dating you, you know that they are NOT the one for you. Once you go on a couple of dates, I think it’s wrong to pick up the bill or pack a picnic or make dinner for someone, this shows that you are grateful and you are not just using them! I think that method should be used for ANY kind of dating whether your dating for marriage or not. Dating is suppose to be fun especially if you are dating someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with. The dates with you’re a potential husband candidate should be the best dates in the world!

Fellas if you like a woman do you take her dates and when do you begin to start feeling used? How can a woman show you that she’s not using that she just values herself and wants to get to know you before jumping into a relationship or the bed with you? Tone and Black what do yall think?

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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on July 18, 2012 at 3:34pm

thats why i said, when i got over dating black american men, i got over everything. and this was back in first grade. i consider myself african-american. i was born here and have lived all of my 27 yrs and 8 months of my life here.

Love is a Losing Game said:

@Eleven if dating black american men was out of the question, then race was a factor in your life, imo. And since both of ur parents are african, do u consider yourself african? Or african american? Or american?

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