Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Baller Alert on July 16, 2012 at 5:37pm

See I grew up in Washington DC when it was known as chocolate city. I rarely saw people of other races. I remember one white girl in my class and she was considered a wigger. It wasn't until recently I saw the mixing of the races. I still prefer black men but after my travels I would consider dating outside my race.

Eleven8 said:

I'm willing to give a man of any race a try.

Love is a Losing Game said:

IDK how I feel about that statement. So, are you willing to give any man a try because he "might be the man of your dreams?" Honestly, you may have already had "the man of your dreams" and didnt know it, mostly because we evolve as humans daily....at least I hope I do. The man of my dreams five years ago is nothing like the man of my dreams today, and five years from now, I hope to have a better understanding of myself, thus having a better understanding of who I want my partner to be for/to me. IMO, YOU make the man of ur dreams "the man of your dreams," by grooming him to be that man. No man has all the secrets to your heart and desires, but you can help the man u choose understand them. Honestly, I think a person who dates outside of their race is looking for some sort of validation...internally. No one can provide that for you. Just look at Halle. When she got with GABE, she was quoted as saying "I tried black men, I really did, but they aint...." whatever she said, but it was along the lines of them not being good men, and look what happened. She is paying support to a white man, that is trying to take her child, and she STILL did not have a successful relationship. SHE has issues and concerns that she needs to work out and NO man will be what she needs them to be for her UNTIL she learns to accept and LOVE herself for who she is. She will know that she is not perfect as well and will be able to love and accept an imperfect being just as she is being accepted as one herself. (not saying u have issues per se :-))

Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time.

Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on July 16, 2012 at 7:00pm

sucks to be you...the people who've meant the most to me are all black. But then again I have friends of all nationalities around me so.

Ms. BoiBye said:

Your words not mine. My dad is black, my daughter' father is black, so is my brother, uncles cousins and the many black men I run across evey day. And I cannot tell you if any of them have positivly affected my life at all. I can count on one hand how many non-black men, professors and coworkers, who have given me more sound advice and help than any of the men in my family or life without wanting something in return. So your opinion is yours and mine is mine.  

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on July 16, 2012 at 7:05pm

I can joke around and say I like a lot of different ethnicities...however i could never pull the trigger on it bc when I look at women as far as values I look no further to my mom/grandmother and their qualities.  Hell every woman who's ever really meant something to me are blk women. So I stay right with them......plus lawd have mercy blk women make me melt

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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on July 16, 2012 at 7:17pm

This coming from the same man who said last week. He would be the only man his daughters trusted. I am entitled to my own opinion just like u. I never said who was important I said made a positive effect.

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Permalink Reply by TOYA on July 16, 2012 at 7:59pm

I was raised to date whoever I want just don't bring a woman home. I've always been open to dating men of different races. Im not anti any male of any race. If there's an attraction and he respects me. I'm going for it

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Permalink Reply by MissMidwest on July 16, 2012 at 10:21pm

All of this! When I was younger, I never even thought of dating any other man than a white man because I was so narrow-minded and I thought it was "wrong", and then one guy really opened my eyes to what I had been missing. Why wouldn't somebody want to date outside of their race? Race doesn't define the person, their personality and morals do, why discriminate against someone just because of where they came from or what color their skin is?  
 
Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time.

Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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Permalink Reply by Jae Nei on July 17, 2012 at 2:52am

both of my parents are of mixed blood. all but one of my great grandparents are of mixed blood. all but three of my great grandparents are of mixed blood. as i mentioned before, my family (both paternal and maternal sides) have their preferences, but none of them include a black man, although that is the race i identify with most. 

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on July 17, 2012 at 10:36am

+1 I've had more black men (and some black women) tell me what I can't do and shouldn't do. I've had a lot more Caucasians telling me how smart I am and to stop limiting myself.

Ms. BoiBye said:

Your words not mine. My dad is black, my daughter' father is black, so is my brother, uncles cousins and the many black men I run across evey day. And I cannot tell you if any of them have positivly affected my life at all. I can count on one hand how many non-black men, professors and coworkers, who have given me more sound advice and help than any of the men in my family or life without wanting something in return. So your opinion is yours and mine is mine.  

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on July 17, 2012 at 11:39am

To this I say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDy84WS_aeY

I also would like to know what you had been missing out on?? I don't think it's wrong to date outside of your race, I just don't think I could seriously do it. And we don't have to lay down, sex, procreate, have relationships with people of other races in order to learn from them or enjoy them as people. You can simply be their friend and get the same experiences WITHOUT having sex with them. JMO tho.

MissMidwest said:

All of this! When I was younger, I never even thought of dating any other man than a white man because I was so narrow-minded and I thought it was "wrong", and then one guy really opened my eyes to what I had been missing. Why wouldn't somebody want to date outside of their race? Race doesn't define the person, their personality and morals do, why discriminate against someone just because of where they came from or what color their skin is?    
Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time.
Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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Permalink Reply by KrystyyyMia on July 17, 2012 at 12:29pm

Exactly to Miss and Eleven8, it's not about the color of your skin, it's about what defines the person and how the person treats you. Like a few others, I grew up with diversity, saw different races date other races etc. No one ever said, "You can date whomever you want, so long as you marry black". It's never been an issue. As long and that man treats me right, we can grow together, make amazing happen, then that's it! I think we'll all become racially ambiguous eventually. 

I've dated black, white, Puerto Rican and a few other sexy mixtures. If you're one to limit yourself to dating "only one" race whether it be black, Cuban, Chinese, I feel bad for you. Expose yourself to something new! You'll probably fall in love. If not, that's fine, more options for me :) 

MissMidwest said:

All of this! When I was younger, I never even thought of dating any other man than a white man because I was so narrow-minded and I thought it was "wrong", and then one guy really opened my eyes to what I had been missing. Why wouldn't somebody want to date outside of their race? Race doesn't define the person, their personality and morals do, why discriminate against someone just because of where they came from or what color their skin is?  
 
Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time.

Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on July 17, 2012 at 12:53pm

I'ma just ask this and then quit stirring the pot(lol), but for those of you who have dated all these other races, how many of them have proposed to you?? Just wondering. The point of dating is not to just be "sampling" sexy folk, but to meet a partner.  all this interracial stuff to me is just about f'kin something new. If sex was not in the equation, then friends wouldn't seem so far fetched. Some, SOME of yall are not going to find what you are looking for until you look inside yourself. It seems so simple but it is the thing that most of us don't want to do (self-refelction).

KrystyyyMia said:

Exactly to Miss and Eleven8, it's not about the color of your skin, it's about what defines the person and how the person treats you. Like a few others, I grew up with diversity, saw different races date other races etc. No one ever said, "You can date whomever you want, so long as you marry black". It's never been an issue. As long and that man treats me right, we can grow together, make amazing happen, then that's it! I think we'll all become racially ambiguous eventually. 

I've dated black, white, Puerto Rican and a few other sexy mixtures. If you're one to limit yourself to dating "only one" race whether it be black, Cuban, Chinese, I feel bad for you. Expose yourself to something new! You'll probably fall in love. If not, that's fine, more options for me :) 

MissMidwest said:

All of this! When I was younger, I never even thought of dating any other man than a white man because I was so narrow-minded and I thought it was "wrong", and then one guy really opened my eyes to what I had been missing. Why wouldn't somebody want to date outside of their race? Race doesn't define the person, their personality and morals do, why discriminate against someone just because of where they came from or what color their skin is?  
 
Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time.

Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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Permalink Reply by MissMidwest on July 17, 2012 at 1:07pm

The topic of this discussion is interracial dating not interracial friendships, so everyone who has replied to this thread is talking about "laying down, sexing, procreating, and having relationships with people of other races" and not friendships. IMO, I think it's discriminatory to write off everyone who is not of your race, I understand if you are speaking on your prefrence of men, but to not be able to take interracial dating and men of other races seriously is narrow minded and cretinous. I used to be just like you, 100%, so don't take what I'm saying the wrong way because I'm not attacking you in the least bit. I was past the point of having a prefrence, I was stuck in some really insular b*******; I would swear up and down that I would never date a man who wasn't white, and I refused to see anyone of another race as attractive because I grew up in a wealthy, predominantly white area and, in my highschool, diversity was not exactly celebrated. I didn't know any better, and I was almost living in a state of delusional "white-wash" if you will, but I grew up and saw that the world had so much more to offer me than what I thought I knew. Of course I was scared and reluctant to date outside of my comfort zone, because it was something new and foreign to me, but then one gorgeous, 6'6", ripped, shredded, and tatted basketball player was patient, kind, and understanding with me and completely changed my views on interracial dating, and my life subsequently.     
 
Love is a Losing Game said:

To this I say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDy84WS_aeY

I also would like to know what you had been missing out on?? I don't think it's wrong to date outside of your race, I just don't think I could seriously do it. And we don't have to lay down, sex, procreate, have relationships with people of other races in order to learn from them or enjoy them as people. You can simply be their friend and get the same experiences WITHOUT having sex with them. JMO tho.

MissMidwest said:

All of this! When I was younger, I never even thought of dating any other man than a white man because I was so narrow-minded and I thought it was "wrong", and then one guy really opened my eyes to what I had been missing. Why wouldn't somebody want to date outside of their race? Race doesn't define the person, their personality and morals do, why discriminate against someone just because of where they came from or what color their skin is?    
Eleven8 said:

I will openly and happily date any race. I can identify with any race because I've been fortunate to grow up around diversity. I've even spent time in Africa and hanging with people from London to Lebanon. To me, it's not the race, it's the person and I'm not limiting myself to any one particular race and risk losing the man of my dreams in the mean time.
Love is a Losing Game said:

HOnestly, I can't see why anyone would WANT to date out of their race. I mean I have seen attractive guys that were not black, but once I thought about how different we were and how it may be a struggle to identify with him, I kinda just opted out of the interracial thing. I think once we get past the physical attributes of a person, there is a real question of compatibility that has to be asked. And when I say compatibility, I mean families meshing, ideas/interests, experiences, values, just a plethora of things that really set us apart, not necessarily in a bad way tho. But for me personally, I just can not see my self really meshing with a guy of another race. Even say as an example, an African man. He speaks a different language than me, prob different religious views, values....understanding. I wouldn't want to do it. I agress with BSM tho, when folk are so quick to jump to another race, I feel like it sometimes devalues their own race.  And, for the record, Black men are great to have and be with. Yes, there are some rotten apples, but they are not indigenous to BM only, so don't think if u get with a BM that he's trash and an "other" is the best thing since sliced bread.

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