Baller Alert.com

For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!

Confused

Me and my ex fiance has been together a total of 3 1/2 years. Just a week ago he upgraded my engagement ring. We set a date and things was going good. Yesterday his daughter and my son was arguing. ( the kids do that all the time) But yesterday, he took it to a different level. He told me to take my kids home. (We don't live together.) To keep from arguing I said bye. I guess he that pissed him off that I was walking away. He made the comment that was his house and no one going to disrespect him....Thats when i turned to him and said idk if you had a bad day or something but don't take it out on me and my kids. Then out the blue this ninja pushed then slapped me. I was really stunned. Of course me still having a lil hood in me. I came back at him. To make a long story short, we fought , we fussed.....the hurtful part of it all is that he called me a b**** and said other derogatory things to me. he also said that its over, that wedding is never going to happen. He asked for his keys back and I left. Haven't heard from him since. I'm so confused and hurt..... I'm still trying to figure out wth trigger him!!!! I will say this. He was wellbutrin and been off it about week. Still if you love someone why would you try to hurt them physically and mentally? I can't stop crying. I haven't try to contact him. Should I just let this be? Wait awhile? Let him come back to me? Help!!!

0 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Diva706 on April 25, 2012 at 12:15pm

Thanks doll

Siren said:

First i would like to say that I am sorry that you and your kids had to go through this. Be glad that you are seeing his ways now instead of after marriage. I know right now in the midst of it all it is hard to see but this may be a blessing in disguise. Please listen all the other ladies as they have given you great advice. You and your children deserve better!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by JustMe on April 25, 2012 at 12:23pm

No ma'am!!!!!!

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Diva706 on April 25, 2012 at 12:30pm

@Love is a game... I didn't want to sound bitter. I've already changed my cell # n locks today... After receiving you ladies and gents point of view...i know its not healthy for me and kids to deal with him again. I'm hurt...but there is nothing that time and prayer couldn't heal.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on April 25, 2012 at 12:45pm

Good. Now, I think u should not say NOTHING else to him. The fact that you reached out to him FIRST gave him the upper hand and can make him think u are kinda weak. IF you contact him again, he knows he can have his way with you. If he contacts you, you gotta ignore him for at least three weeks so he will know its OVER. And if you want closure get it then, but u need to move on. There are toooooooo many great guys out here for you to settle for this ish.

Diva706 said:

@Love is a game... I didn't want to sound bitter. I've already changed my cell # n locks today... After receiving you ladies and gents point of view...i know its not healthy for me and kids to deal with him again. I'm hurt...but there is nothing that time and prayer couldn't heal.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on April 25, 2012 at 1:36pm

+1. you never know where his mind is at. Family member of mine is married to a retired military, she started making her own money and now she is "not all there" - a whole lot of mess and everyone believe he was the cause.No one know whats going in the house but we knw its some crazy mess.

SACK CHASER said:

Ex Marine and on meds?! Thats a double negative for me! He probably had a flashback and snapped. Your son we hate in forever knowing he disrespected his mom. just leave before it gets aany wworse !

What was your son's perception of him prior to this?

Diva706 said:
He paid for it cash. It wasn't the most expensive ring. He paid around $4200 for it.He is a retired marine plus work a good paying government job. That's chump change to him. Idk what the hell happened!

CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:

*Money thinking cap on* Did he pay cash for the engagement ring or was it on credit? If credit that bill may have shown up and put his azz in a foul mood coupled with being off his meds. *shrug* IDK. What I do know is that if he hit you once then he'll do it again.

Keep it moving and don't look back.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on April 25, 2012 at 2:08pm

Ex-Marine? Oh hell honey, run far and fast away! I've never known a Marine that wasn't bat shyt crazy!

Diva706 said:

He paid for it cash. It wasn't the most expensive ring. He paid around $4200 for it.He is a retired marine plus work a good paying government job. That's chump change to him. Idk what the hell happened!

CCDreamin' of a baller for me said:

*Money thinking cap on* Did he pay cash for the engagement ring or was it on credit? If credit that bill may have shown up and put his azz in a foul mood coupled with being off his meds. *shrug* IDK. What I do know is that if he hit you once then he'll do it again.

Keep it moving and don't look back.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by MissBling on April 26, 2012 at 2:56am

When people show you who they are.... believe them! I'm sorry that you and your children had to go through this. Take this situation as a blessing in disguise. If you put this behind you and try to move forward with him, the next time will be a lot worse.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Creative Bee on April 26, 2012 at 11:20am

Consider yourself lucky it happened before the wedding, you got off the hook easy, you might get killed or severely abused for years. Thank God, he show you his true colors now. Move on and don't let him back in under no circumstances. He will probably try to get back later and convince you it won't happen again, but thrust this is just the beginning.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on April 26, 2012 at 11:27am

Any man who can up and call a woman a 'b**** & any derogatory names' is not into her and won't respect her. Like someone said don't try to figure out why he snapped (it's human nature to wonder why) but experience tells me it has nothing to do with you personally, u just happen to be there.

Congrats on your promotion, relish in it!!!!!! Did he congratulate you when you got your promo?

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on April 26, 2012 at 12:19pm

OMG! Tone is SO right and, so is Love Is A Losing Game.

Ladies, ask any psychologist, there is no point in trying to tell a battered woman to leave.

Look, I know how hard it is to leave a relationship, be it abusive or not. Since you are looking for the reason behind his actions AND sending him caring emails, I am going to assume you will eventually go back. I will not judge you as what you are dealing with is an illness (stockholm syndrome). However, what I will say is this:

1) If you go back, it is essential that the two of you seek couples therapy.

2) Always keep in mind, the worst thing that can happen is you and your son being murdered (with a special emphasis on your son; as Tone stated, no big 13 y.o. will beat an ex marine, on meds and trained to kill)

As long as you acknowledge these truths, you will be taking a step in the right direction.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Diva706 on April 27, 2012 at 12:32pm

Thanks for the advice...I've been hiatus for a few days and I am actually getting ready to head to Panama city for a mental break. He tried to contact me at my work place. i sent all his calls to vm. He also came by the house, but i pared my main vehicle in my neighbors back yard so its looks as if im not home. I AM JUST GOING TO LIVE IT UP THIS WEEKEND!

BabyBallerCheeks said:

OMG! Tone is SO right and, so is Love Is A Losing Game.

Ladies, ask any psychologist, there is no point in trying to tell a battered woman to leave.

Look, I know how hard it is to leave a relationship, be it abusive or not. Since you are looking for the reason behind his actions AND sending him caring emails, I am going to assume you will eventually go back. I will not judge you as what you are dealing with is an illness (stockholm syndrome). However, what I will say is this:

1) If you go back, it is essential that the two of you seek couples therapy.

2) Always keep in mind, the worst thing that can happen is you and your son being murdered (with a special emphasis on your son; as Tone stated, no big 13 y.o. will beat an ex marine, on meds and trained to kill)

As long as you acknowledge these truths, you will be taking a step in the right direction.