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Baller Alert.com
For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Dating a Dude Living w/His Parents
Yay or Nay?
The list looks like a bunch of excuses for someone trying to date whilst sleeping in that same twin bed he's had for 25 years.
http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com/2012/06/27/so-youre-dating-a-guy-w...
Dating a guy who lives with the parents? You’re not alone. Research has found nearly 30 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds are living at home. Of course, dating a man who lives with the ‘rents is different than being with a dude who has his own pad. Sally Kaslow, author of Slouching Toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest shares her tips on how to navigate this potential minefield.
See the Big Picture
If you’re dating a man who lives at home, odds are it doesn’t bother you…that much. If you find it’s nagging you a little, focus on the long-term: It’s probably not your man’s fault that he can’t find the perfect job or afford rent at the moment (but that doesn’t mean he won’t be able to down the road).
Don’t Assume He’s Broke
Plenty of well-employed dudes are living with the parents now to save money for a down-payment on a house, or to pay off student loans, which is actually really, really smart.
Offer to Go Halfsies
Whether he’s living with the ‘rents to save cash or is un- or underemployed, your guy most likely isn’t going to be a big spender. So offer to split the check when you go out, and suggest cheap dates like hikes, dinner at your place, etc.
Help With His Job Search
If he’s unemployed, his job search is probably one of the biggest things in his life right now. Offer to help with tweaking his resume, attending network events, and putting out feelers, but don’t push if he’d rather do it on his own.
Get a Timetable
While a lot of driven, financially-savvy guys are living at home now, there are definitely some slackers doing the same thing. Ask about his timetable for living at home—does he have a plan to leave? And find out how he helps out around the house. Helping to pay rent, buying groceries, cleaning, and cooking for his parents are all good signs.
Suss Out the Privacy Sitch
Before you start doing overnight visits, ask him how much privacy he has and how his parents feel about sleepovers. If he has his own space, and they’re cool with overnighters, you should be too.
Be Friendly With the ‘Rents
You don’t have to go overboard, but turn up the charm whenever you see them. Ask about what’s new in their lives and thank them for having you over.
Ladies would this ever work for you? Please let me know your thoughts.
Via: Cosmopolitan.com -Korn Miller
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on -
There are believable reasons why a guy could live with mom & dad... This list however doesn't really give any...
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Permalink Reply by Siren on -
My sister met her husband he was living at home he had a great job, and a FAT ASS bank account! I think this is more prone in other cultures too. I have a guy friend who is an awesome catch that chicks turned their nose up at because he lived with his mom. But he saved his money and paid for more than half his home in cash. He makes pretty good money but is able to live like he has more because of him saving.
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on -
@JustMe no the list does not give any reasons
@Siren - your bro-in law is certainly more of the exception and not the rule. a guy living at home and actually stacking cash is cool. the problem is the gentlemen and i use that term loosely, who claim to be stacking cash and saving who are basically being mothered well into their 30s and 40s. i met an ex who was living at home with his parents. he claimed it was because his dad had a a heart attack and he "returened" home. that was a load of BS. his dad did have an attack but was able bodied and retired and smoked cigarettes all day. he was back home because it was rent free and the meals were too.
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Permalink Reply by Siren on
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@max I agree that there are a lot of dudes who are home because they ain't s***. There are more now than when ummmm yeah you know back in the day. This economy is screwed a lot of younger men say 23-30 who due to economy, student loan debt and also families struggling needing help they are stayng home longer and moving home.
maxwells_musze said:@JustMe no the list does not give any reasons
@Siren - your bro-in law is certainly more of the exception and not the rule. a guy living at home and actually stacking cash is cool. the problem is the gentlemen and i use that term loosely, who claim to be stacking cash and saving who are basically being mothered well into their 30s and 40s. i met an ex who was living at home with his parents. he claimed it was because his dad had a a heart attack and he "returened" home. that was a load of BS. his dad did have an attack but was able bodied and retired and smoked cigarettes all day. he was back home because it was rent free and the meals were too.
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on
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i had a feeling you'd be sympathetic.
@Siren - definitely indicative of the times. I remember growing up each and every one of my uncles living with my grandmother until they found a lady and moved on. they also came back home anytime things got rough or a realtionship failed.
if my mom or dad had an estate like a southfork, my ass would move back home in a minute. otherwise hell nah. one of us would be dead.
Tone said:Good list
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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on -
This list was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on
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@Siren, a guy living at home actually taking care of business is a good thing... But a lot of guys still at home never left, or returned when someone put them out...
I know two guys that live with their mom or grandmother completely by choice, making over six figures a year... One actually built his mom a wing after his dad died... Situations
Ike that can be a gift and a curse...
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Permalink Reply by Siren on
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*Disclaimer!!!!!!! These are not the men that I am referring to!!! LOL I do think that women will sometimes not even listen to a guys reasoning or whill overlook a decent guy because they won't take the time to see much past "That Nikka Lives at home"
JustMe said:
@Siren, a guy living at home actually taking care of business is a good thing... But a lot of guys still at home never left, or returned when someone put them out...
I know two guys that live with their mom or grandmother completely by choice, making over six figures a year... One actually built his mom a wing after his dad died... Situations
Ike that can be a gift and a curse...
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on
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the part that got me was doing the privacy reconaissance. you got me all f***** up if i gotta go on a mission to gauge the level of privacy. uncle booboo room right above your room in the unfinished basement. that is so romantical!
CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she said:This list was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on -
This had to be written by a white woman. The black version:1. He just got put out by his baby momma 2. He just got out of jail 3. He is a momma's boy 4. He is taking care of one of "sick" parents, who died or is perfectly fine. 5. He is lazy 6. He is not trying to ever move out.
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Permalink Reply by MissMidwest on -
I believe that it depends on the situation. I just turned 23 (le sigh) and a lot of guys I went to high school with (I grew up in an extremely wealthy area) have come home after getting their degrees to apply/get their Masters Degree, or have an abundance of student loans to pay off so they wanted to eliminate the cost of independent living and focus on reducing their debts and stacking their chips before going out into the "real world". These reasons I don't have a problem with, however I do have an issue with men living at home who are 1.) not in school, 2.) not a new graduate, and 3.) unemployed.
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