Baller Alert.com

For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!

Dating a Dude Living w/His Parents

Yay or Nay?

The list looks like a bunch of excuses for someone trying to date whilst sleeping in that same twin bed he's had for 25 years.

http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com/2012/06/27/so-youre-dating-a-guy-w...

Dating a guy who lives with the parents? You’re not alone. Research has found nearly 30 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds are living at home. Of course, dating a man who lives with the ‘rents is different than being with a dude who has his own pad. Sally Kaslow, author of Slouching Toward Adulthood: Observations from the Not-So-Empty Nest shares her tips on how to navigate this potential minefield.

See the Big Picture

If you’re dating a man who lives at home, odds are it doesn’t bother you…that much. If you find it’s nagging you a little, focus on the long-term: It’s probably not your man’s fault that he can’t find the perfect job or afford rent at the moment (but that doesn’t mean he won’t be able to down the road).

Don’t Assume He’s Broke

Plenty of well-employed dudes are living with the parents now to save money for a down-payment on a house, or to pay off student loans, which is actually really, really smart.

Offer to Go Halfsies

Whether he’s living with the ‘rents to save cash or is un- or underemployed, your guy most likely isn’t going to be a big spender. So offer to split the check when you go out, and suggest cheap dates like hikes, dinner at your place, etc.

Help With His Job Search

If he’s unemployed, his job search is probably one of the biggest things in his life right now. Offer to help with tweaking his resume, attending network events, and putting out feelers, but don’t push if he’d rather do it on his own.

Get a Timetable

While a lot of driven, financially-savvy guys are living at home now, there are definitely some slackers doing the same thing. Ask about his timetable for living at home—does he have a plan to leave? And find out how he helps out around the house. Helping to pay rent, buying groceries, cleaning, and cooking for his parents are all good signs.

Suss Out the Privacy Sitch

Before you start doing overnight visits, ask him how much privacy he has and how his parents feel about sleepovers. If he has his own space, and they’re cool with overnighters, you should be too.

Be Friendly With the ‘Rents

You don’t have to go overboard, but turn up the charm whenever you see them. Ask about what’s new in their lives and thank them for having you over.

Ladies would this ever work for you? Please let me know your thoughts.

Via: Cosmopolitan.com -Korn Miller

Tags: dating a man living with parents

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on June 27, 2012 at 3:26pm

I agree... The one who built his mom a wing chased a chick for a minute... It wasn't until she overheard a mutual friend saying how paid dude was that she became interested... Then they broke up after a minute cause bish tried to treat his mom like a maid, and a family member was ready to fight her...

Siren said:

*Disclaimer!!!!!!! These are not the men that I am referring to!!! LOL I do think that women will sometimes not even listen to a guys reasoning or whill overlook a decent guy because they won't take the time to see much past "That Nikka Lives at home"

JustMe said:

@Siren, a guy living at home actually taking care of business is a good thing... But a lot of guys still at home never left, or returned when someone put them out...
I know two guys that live with their mom or grandmother completely by choice, making over six figures a year... One actually built his mom a wing after his dad died... Situations
Ike that can be a gift and a curse...

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on June 27, 2012 at 4:08pm

Way too many women assume that a guy that lives at home is a bum. When he could have a valid reason to be living at home. It goes back to what I said about women having unrealistic standards for men.

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on June 27, 2012 at 4:29pm

Not really Tone... If a man isn't responsible for himself, how can he be responsible for his family?????

Back in the day, both men & women lived at home until they got married... But productive people work & maintain a life of their own while living with mom & dad... That's the issue we are discussing here today...

Even if a dude makes good money... Is he saving it and helping his parents out??? Or is he balling out in the club every night & mooching???????

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Permalink Reply by Baller Alert on June 27, 2012 at 4:32pm

Not wanting a man that still sleeps in the same bed he did when he was 12 is not an unrealistic standard...

Tone said:

Way too many women assume that a guy that lives at home is a bum. When he could have a valid reason to be living at home. It goes back to what I said about women having unrealistic standards for men.

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Permalink Reply by Tone © on June 27, 2012 at 5:31pm

not understand valid reasons is unrealistic to me
Baller Alert said:

Not wanting a man that still sleeps in the same bed he did when he was 12 is not an unrealistic standard...

Tone said:

Way too many women assume that a guy that lives at home is a bum. When he could have a valid reason to be living at home. It goes back to what I said about women having unrealistic standards for men.

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Permalink Reply by Ms. Ashley Banks on June 27, 2012 at 10:49pm

My family encourages us to live at home until we're married, because living alone leads to carnal sin (yet somehow lots of folks have gotten knocked up while living at ome). And we have a lot of graduate students/divorcing people in our family. I'm one of the only black Americans I know whose family encourages this, because people always ask where I'm from when I tell them how my family is.

Siren said:

My sister met her husband he was living at home he had a great job, and a FAT ASS bank account! I think this is more prone in other cultures too. I have a guy friend who is an awesome catch that chicks turned their nose up at because he lived with his mom. But he saved his money and paid for more than half his home in cash. He makes pretty good money but is able to live like he has more because of him saving.

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Permalink Reply by Ms. Ashley Banks on June 27, 2012 at 10:53pm

Now, there is no way in hell I'd spend the night at a guy's parents house, that's a respect issue. Nor would I allow him to stay with my family and I. That's why people used to want their kids at home until marriage, but you can still find ways to have sex.

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Permalink Reply by mese on June 28, 2012 at 12:52am

The guy I'm dating now just moved out of his parents house he graduated last year has a degree in bussiness and he works for a really great company. He hated living at home but he's like I gotta stack my money before i do. And he's only 23 so I understood that. He was stacking his money. So i agree with @miss midwest has long you are employed and got your ish together your good in my book i know the economy is messed up. Lol

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Permalink Reply by Ms. KissyFace on June 28, 2012 at 1:26am

This sounds more like fostering a child or being a part of the big brother/sister program. No ma'am and no thank you.

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on June 28, 2012 at 9:15am

Dead and gone at 'romantical' lol

maxwells_musze said:

the part that got me was doing the privacy reconaissance. you got me all f***** up if i gotta go on a mission to gauge the level of privacy. uncle booboo room right above your room in the unfinished basement. that is so romantical!

CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she said:

This list was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on June 28, 2012 at 9:17am

His situation is understandable. The ones I'm thinking about are like this dude whose mother I worked with. He was always about to be put out, lights off, phone off etc. His momma would help pay his bills to keep him out her one bedroom apt. He ended up there on her sofa anyway at 40 something damn years old.

mese said:

The guy I'm dating now just moved out of his parents house he graduated last year has a degree in bussiness and he works for a really great company. He hated living at home but he's like I gotta stack my money before i do. And he's only 23 so I understood that. He was stacking his money. So i agree with @miss midwest has long you are employed and got your ish together your good in my book i know the economy is messed up. Lol

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Permalink Reply by LaLaBella on July 2, 2012 at 7:39am

I am sorry but no, I could not date a man that lived at home regardless of the reason. I'm not sure why this is even a topic on a site dedicated to all things "ballerific". A male that lives at home...to save money, go to school etc etc...is in my opinion not a man but a "manchild". I am interested in the man that has already achieved independence and stability.