I'm in a situation right now where my boyfriend has been unfaithful......he claims he has changed, and that it wasn't what it seemed then he did something else, and something else, and something else....what are the somethings else you ask? Let's see extra cell phone, online chatting, using his brothers' phone, rolled up on him at a local restaurant standing outside with a female.......the only thing I haven't "caught" him doing was having sex with someone. He lies constantly, so much so that I can’t believe him with something as simple as telling me he is at his friend’s house when he is really at his mother’s although I checked it out and he actually wasn’t doing anything wrong at the time. I wake up every morning with this heavy weight on my heart not knowing what to do. What in the world am I waiting on? If I saw this post by someone else I would advise them they deserve better. He moved out to give me space to heal. Yeah, right. That only makes me wonder even more. Is it strong to hang in there or stupid to stay? I cannot get the thoughts out of my head of the hurt that he has caused me. Yet he claims he can’t live without me and that he has changed-but he has promised that before. He even says he wants to marry me-however, there is no way I could marry him at this point. Can he really be that messed up in the head? My brother says get the hell out of there, that he is a dog. I have never been unfaithful to him, although I easily could and he knows it. Ladies please help me out with this one!

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A wise woman around here once said..........."When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM"
Bravo! She said it! I mean what other evidence do you need to leave him? You're not married, kids or not no one can live like that. That's like me getting back with my daughter's father, oh hell no! I can't put up with anyone I can't trust at all. Don't be hanging in there thinking you might get a ring, because please believe when and if you were to get married it only gets worse!

University of Smitty said:
A wise woman around here once said..........."When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM"
Couldn't have said it better. So to answer your question NO!

University of Smitty said:
A wise woman around here once said..........."When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM"
Covergryl, I was going through the same thing... Well Almost.. I hacked into my then bf's facebook and saw allll kind of s***..took him back and he kept lying and my intuition kept telling me drop his ass he doesn't love you enough to be faithful..The last straw was when I found out he was f****** PLENTY other girls unprotected. Like Samantha on Sex and the City said to cheating ass Richard, " I love you, but I love ME MORE". You deserve better! Keep yourself up and that good man will come along! *hugs*
let the bad man go so the good one could take his place. Your time is precious don't waste it on worries and no he wont change
I agree with everyone else.. I was in this exact situation except for I almost married this negro (ring and all).. He always had some sort of excuse or lie even when it wasn't necessary (like if I asked what color his red shirt was this negro would probably tell my ass it was green).. The point is, I stayed for five years because I loved him and I kept letting him get in my head with all his "Ive changed" b******* so you have to leave when YOU'RE READY. Because if you leave before you're sure, you'll probably end up going right back or convincing yourself that you didn't "try hard enough" when in actuality, you tried much harder than you ever should have... You sure this negro isn't related to my ex-fiance?! Once your heart starts to feel heavy, enough is enough.. No marriage can result from that much damage.
Your heart already knows the answer and the reality of it is that you will give up when you are ready. No matter what your brother says or anyone posts here. I think many of us can relate. We cling on to hope and years go by. I don't know how old you are, but time is precious. You don't get to do it again. I am speaking from experience. I gave up all of my twenties to an underserving soul and all the signs were there just as with you, but I kept hoping....a divorce and a baby later I know that it was all in vain. He is showing you who he is...believe him.  
I think you should move on and realize you are worth more than that

God works in mysterious ways I swear having the same issues wondering if I should give someone a second chance mine are more abandonment issues. But OMG @University of Smitty someone else posted that on FB yesterday and the fact that you posted it here today is clearly a MSG to take heed! I really must agree with that statement it is the realest sh*t I ever heard!

 

@Covergyrl sometimes we have to take our emotions out of a situation and ask ourselves what would we tell someone else to do, although this is easier said then done, I have been using this method myself because if I would tell someone else to leave what makes me different? Trust is one of the key elements in a successful relationship without trust you are headed toward a string of issues that will only snowball. If you can not trust someone you will never be satisfied with their truth even if it TRULY is the truth.

 

sn...sorry for the twitter @ signs haven't figured out how to do the reply and re-posting of others comments.

Well said! 

 

And I figured out how to reply and re-post! Yes!

luvsmoochez said:

Your heart already knows the answer and the reality of it is that you will give up when you are ready. No matter what your brother says or anyone posts here. I think many of us can relate. We cling on to hope and years go by. I don't know how old you are, but time is precious. You don't get to do it again. I am speaking from experience. I gave up all of my twenties to an underserving soul and all the signs were there just as with you, but I kept hoping....a divorce and a baby later I know that it was all in vain. He is showing you who he is...believe him.  

You have lots of good advice I think you should take it and RUN do not walk away from him...

Cut your losses now before you really find yourself in a situation you regret.

 

And whoever gave that advice about your time being precious...I cosign to that all day. If you stay with someone who makes you unhappy because you fear being alone, starting over, leaving your financial comfort zone, or whatever....you will realize that years have gone by and you can never get that back. I suggest you think about this situation from a perspective if you only had X amount of (weeks/months or years) left to live...and roll with that. Would you make things simplier and more fulfilling? Or would you stay stuck in your last moments with someone who would rather spend time with someone else knowing you don't have a lot left yourself....? Just another way to see things. If you don't think your time is valuable and thus all of you, well neither would he.

ITS LIFE! WIN SOME LOOSE SOME! DROP HIM LIKE A BAD HABIT AND DONT THINK TWICE ABOUT!

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