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Permalink Reply by MissMidwest on August 1, 2012 at 4:04pm

All of this! Especially the last two sentences!

BabyBallerCheeks said:

I agree. A friend of mines was physically abused by three different men. At first I thought it was just bad luck but then I realized, she would tell each one of them what she had endured with the last so, when they got angry, they just followed suit. I told her to NEVER tell any man she use to get beat ever again. 

I mean, think about it this way. A man comes to you and says, "I bought my ex girl a car, paid all her bills, took her shopping on the regular...etc." Aren't you going to expect the same? Now, if that same man said he caught his girl cheating but still paid her bills because he loved her, wouldn't you feel like you could use him too? 

Pass behavior is an indication of future behavior. Don't share your war stories with your new boo unless you want them to throw it in your face or do the same later.

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Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on August 1, 2012 at 4:59pm

So am I the only one that disagrees?!?!?! Ok, you don't have to tell the depth of EVERY SINGLE RELATIONSHIP, but if he ask me "what happened in your last relationship" and so on, then I'm going to tell him.mno, he won't get play by play but I will say "he cheated, and I left" or I'll tell him how things went down. It's not bringing the past into your present relationship, it's more of, making him aware of the last mans mistakes and hopefully he'll avoid doing the same

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Permalink Reply by Sheli on August 1, 2012 at 5:22pm

If he asks, I'll tell to an extent. No in-depth details or even address being hurt, but I will address the parts that I didn't accept so that he'll know not to even try that B.S. And like someone else said, I'll make sure it's known that I'm, over it and have moved on. Now I did have an ex who knew of the shenanigans from my previous relationship and he would bring it up all the time with "You let ________ do it, so why is it a problem now?" Shat pissed me off.

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Permalink Reply by DB on August 1, 2012 at 6:18pm

I really think it depends on the man. I never really like to talk about past relationships with new potential boos anyway but like someone else said, if the new boo asks, I'm going to let him know very frankly what happened and why it ended.. I think a mature man with his head on straight will respect me enough not to do to me whatever dumb s*** I told him my ex did and if he's not, him and my ex can kick it together... In my past.

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Permalink Reply by l8dy-c on August 2, 2012 at 12:26am

Agree

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Permalink Reply by Ms. KissyFace on August 2, 2012 at 12:57am

No. Why tell them about your past. That ruins your mystery.Men are very sneaky.They like to ask certain questions only so they know what they can get away with. I hate a nosey m***********. DO NOT ask me how many partners I've had because that is a turn off and do not ask about ex's. Asking that only makes you seem insecure.

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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on August 2, 2012 at 9:13am

i am going to go with the minority here and respectfully disagree. like someone said before you need not go into every minute detail of a past relationship. and hopefuly your new partner isn't delving all like that but to me its okay to share and it doesn't make you look bitter. most of the comments are addressing the situation as if every relationship ends because of some dude doing the dumping. that is not the case. if you're being honest and open you and your new beau both need to come clean about how you behaved in the relationship too. good and bad.

 

it can't be a blanket statement, don't tell them about your past. if talking and communicating and letting someone know what you will and will not take/endure is you being your true self then be your true self. if hiding things and pretending to be someone you're not is you then go on and do that but eventually it'll all come out.

 

i was friends w/my husband first so i told him wayyyyyy too much! i do agree that you don't need to be sharing partner #s. its never gonna be low enough for a dude and they really shouldn't be asking that anyway..

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Permalink Reply by Slim G on August 2, 2012 at 10:09am

True, I agree. If you are sharing somethings with him to make a point be careful what information and how much of it you share. Not just because you may be bitter or tainted but men will tend to view you differently when you share certain information and they can't help it, it's just in their DNA.

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Permalink Reply by TOYA on August 2, 2012 at 5:37pm

Do not share.

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on August 2, 2012 at 6:57pm

I'm with the minority... I say disclose what needs to be known, and keep the rest private.

At some point your boo will need to know HOW to love you... And part of that answer involves not making the same mistakes as past loves...

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on August 3, 2012 at 10:18am

I was thinking the same damn thing! lol

luvsmoochez said:

I agree that you shouldn't tell, but not because he will think you are bitter, but he may start thinking about what his ass could get away with. IJS

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Permalink Reply by Brown Skin Beauty on August 3, 2012 at 5:26pm

I agree.

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