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Evelyn's letter to her 7 year old self...
Dear Mija,
In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create… You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.
You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.
You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.
It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you…encouraging you…willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.
Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.
I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.
Learning To Love You More,
Evelyn
Read More: Evelyn Lozada pens letter to 7 year old selfMiss Jia: She ain’t for everybody… http://missjia.com/2012/06/06/open-discussion-evelyn-lozada-writes-...
In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create… You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.
You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.
You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.
It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you…encouraging you…willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.
Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.
I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.
Learning To Love You More,
Evelyn
Read More: Evelyn Lozada pens letter to 7 year old selfMiss Jia: She ain’t for everybody… http://missjia.com/2012/06/06/open-discussion-evelyn-lozada-writes-...
Tags: BasketballWives, EvelynLozada, Growth
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Nala on -
7 though? You really think a 7 year old would take a lettter like this serious? couldn't see like do 13/14? but 7? lol I guess she went through something really tragic at that age...
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on -
You must not know any seven year olds????
I know 4 year olds that can comprehend & converse better than some adults...
Nala said:7 though? You really think a 7 year old would take a lettter like this serious? couldn't see like do 13/14? but 7? lol I guess she went through something really tragic at that age...
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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on -
My son is 7 going on 8 and he can comprehend and take this very seriously. Me and him converse like grown ups. Always have. I think 7 is a great age to go back to. The young the better. Before they've lost all the innocence they've once had.
Nala said:7 though? You really think a 7 year old would take a lettter like this serious? couldn't see like do 13/14? but 7? lol I guess she went through something really tragic at that age...
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on
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Exactly!!!!! From what I see Ev was probably already jaded by 13/14... Giving advice to the 7 year old, helps the 13 year old & so on...
Eleven8 said:My son is 7 going on 8 and he can comprehend and take this very seriously. Me and him converse like grown ups. Always have. I think 7 is a great age to go back to. The young the better. Before they've lost all the innocence they've once had.
Nala said:7 though? You really think a 7 year old would take a lettter like this serious? couldn't see like do 13/14? but 7? lol I guess she went through something really tragic at that age...
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Permalink Reply by Nala on
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IDK.. I would wait till my child is in the earlypre teens to have a conversation like this.. 7 is what grade? 1st or 2nd? I personally think a child would listen but they really wouldn't understand this type of letter till their older re-reading it.JustMe said:
Exactly!!!!! From what I see Ev was probably already jaded by 13/14... Giving advice to the 7 year old, helps the 13 year old & so on...
Eleven8 said:My son is 7 going on 8 and he can comprehend and take this very seriously. Me and him converse like grown ups. Always have. I think 7 is a great age to go back to. The young the better. Before they've lost all the innocence they've once had.
Nala said:7 though? You really think a 7 year old would take a lettter like this serious? couldn't see like do 13/14? but 7? lol I guess she went through something really tragic at that age...
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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on -
You're 19 so you won't 'get it yet'. You're still learning & growing.
Nala said:
IDK.. I would wait till my child is in the earlypre teens to have a conversation like this.. 7 is what grade? 1st or 2nd? I personally think a child would listen but they really wouldn't understand this type of letter till their older re-reading it.JustMe said:
Exactly!!!!! From what I see Ev was probably already jaded by 13/14... Giving advice to the 7 year old, helps the 13 year old & so on...
Eleven8 said:My son is 7 going on 8 and he can comprehend and take this very seriously. Me and him converse like grown ups. Always have. I think 7 is a great age to go back to. The young the better. Before they've lost all the innocence they've once had.
Nala said:7 though? You really think a 7 year old would take a lettter like this serious? couldn't see like do 13/14? but 7? lol I guess she went through something really tragic at that age...
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Permalink Reply by Nala on
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Ima try my best not to get ignorant! But b**** what being 18 have to do with anything? Toy just love using that f****** card huh? I'm still growing & learning that's a fact & one of the reasons y I'm on BA I don't need you throwing it at me every second. I'm allowed to voice my opinion .. take it or f****** leave it .. don't bring anything else into this convo besides 7 year olds, Evelyn & this f****** letter! But. Like I mentioned before I think 7 is a good age to shed some light on the child but I personally feel as though he or she isn't gonna fully get this till they're older!
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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on
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I'm so tired of her and this damn sob story. Everything was cool til she threw that wine bottle and thought she was the biggest and baddest. She didn't feel bad when she was on tv talking bout who she fuc and if she wanna fuc she gon do it on the last reunion before this one. It wasn't until the national outcry that all of a sudden she realizes that she needs to be a better role model. Ugh fake whores make me smh. One minute she proud of her whorish disrespectful ways, the next she blaming it on folk that raised her and what she had seen in her life. She got the money, bish turn it into some stability and have some seats. She really irks me
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Permalink Reply by LaMonet on -
I've always thought Evelyn was the emotional and dramatic type. She seems really lost, but sometimes I wonder if she knows what she's doing. Probably why her and Tammy get along so well. Either way I hope Shaunie make the right decision when it comes to BasketBall wives.
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on -
wow...that was a great exercise in restraining ignorance.
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on
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You being 18 has everything to do with it... Sometimes when people give you words of wisdom, just hush and listen. Stop throwing so many damn tantrums!!!!
Nala said:Ima try my best not to get ignorant! But b**** what being 18 have to do with anything? Toy just love using that f****** card huh? I'm still growing & learning that's a fact & one of the reasons y I'm on BA I don't need you throwing it at me every second. I'm allowed to voice my opinion .. take it or f****** leave it .. don't bring anything else into this convo besides 7 year olds, Evelyn & this f****** letter! But. Like I mentioned before I think 7 is a good age to shed some light on the child but I personally feel as though he or she isn't gonna fully get this till they're older!
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