For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
Hey BA, I'm at a low point today. I'm blogging to you guys b/c I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone else right now.
Some of you know I've been single for a few months and dating this Rich Entreprenuer. While it has had it's perks....he moves around too much for us to go anywhere fast. I enjoy every moment with him but there isn't many. We spend the majority of the time texting, talking, and live chatting.
It's great but not fulfilling. I can't say what the future holds there yet but in this situation, it's like being single b/c I'm lonely all the time and not getting any (we haven't been intimate yet)
Thus leading to my problem.
My Ex, whom I had to drop b/c I caught him cheating has been trying to get back since before Thanksgiving. I have simply refused b/c I can't deal with that mess and give to much in my relationships to even have to deal with that. However, I was in love with him so it has been hard.
The new guy came in around the Holidays and was exciting. It provided a great distraction and I've tried to let go.
We have mutual friends so it's hard to avoid him completely. I'm also good friends with his mom. Who is a powerhouse woman so I want to keep that relationship.
Anyway, whenever we've seen each other. He goes out of his way to kiss up and be nice. To tell me how much he misses me and how sorry he is.
We've had (what I thought was) a few really deep conversations in Feb. He confessed to suppossedly being in Love with me seriously and said that he realized that his cheating was a huge mistake and it took losing me to realize that. He sent me a nice gift for V-Day (really nice) Begging me to just please give him another chance.
I've tried so hard to get over him but I can't seem too. I think about him every night.
You know where this is going. I let him come back.
Things had been better than ever. In fact he has been doing better than I expected.
EVERYBODY that knows about this is pissed at me and said I need to stick it out with new guy.
It sounds good but I was missing him so bad and I really wished things had worked the 1st time.
We've been together everyday since 2/18, we've been making future plans for the summer and fall. I finally gave in and became intimate with him again 3 wks ago. He's been acting like we're newlyweds or something since then. He just helped me purchase my new truck two weeks ago. Something we had talked about before the break-up last year. I've been happy.
Last night he fell asleep right after dinner. About 2am his phone keeps buzzing so I check it. It's some chick wanting to know if it's tooo late for her to "c**" over. Saying she was sorry she missed his call earlier. I look further and find inappropiate text from atleast 2 other chicks besides her "Goodnight Baby's and Miss you Papi's. And a text from his BM saying she misses him and wants "Daddy" to come home.
My hands were shaking so bad I dropped the phone.
It's like when things are good with him they are the best.
When it goes South....that s*** hits Mexico.
I know the easy answer....leave this a******.
How do you convince your heart to let go?
Believe me when I say, I'm tired, I REALLY WANT TO NOT LOOK BACK.
Somehow this just ends up being easier said than done.
I know I shouldn't have taken him back and I feel like a DAMN FOOL b/c I did.
The 1st time I was hurt. This time I am EMBARRASSED!
I know the truth hurts and that's definately what I need to hear.
PLEASE DON"T ATTACK ME TODAY..... I don't have the energy...I'm deflated right now!
Yeah....just take a moment to not entertain them or any relationship drama today....go meditate and be at peace with your own thoughts even the ones that bring you back to why your even feel the way you do now....at the end of the day you have to be happy and if mister money bags ain't doing it for you, his loss, right?? You come off as smart and driven so you already have an idea of what to do, but its no fun getting played for less than you're worth....it happens to even the most beautiful and warm hearted woman....AT LEAST you are seeing them for who they are now rather than later... And your ex is "your ex" for a REASON so don't look back!!!! Be well...
So you guys were hot and heavy for the last 3 weeks. Did you check the dates on the texts? Did you see any he sent out? Did it sound like he had actually been in contact with these chicks or were they looking for him in the daytime with a flash light? From your blog it sounds like the BM hasnt seen him in awhile. You know we like to cut a n***a first lol. Could it be that he's been single a year and officially(?) booed up 3 weeks and hasnt broken the news to all his jumpoff's? Technically he only has 8 hours a day for the past 3 weeks to get in touch with a years worth of azz. Maybe his hoes work and he hasnt been able to reach them all.
Dont shoot me....I'm sure most of this will be his argument anyway so at least you can prepare.
So you guys were hot and heavy for the last 3 weeks. Did you check the dates on the texts? Did you see any he sent out? Did it sound like he had actually been in contact with these chicks or were they looking for him in the daytime with a flash light? From your blog it sounds like the BM hasnt seen him in awhile. You know we like to cut a n***a first lol. Could it be that he's been single a year and officially(?) booed up 3 weeks and hasnt broken the news to all his jumpoff's? Technically he only has 8 hours a day for the past 3 weeks to get in touch with a years worth of azz. Maybe his hoes work and he hasnt been able to reach them all. Dont shoot me....I'm sure most of this will be his argument anyway so at least you can prepare.