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Permalink Reply by Moving In Silence on May 14, 2012 at 10:15pm

This is so many degrees of wrong. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if she thought I was taking care of a man. But I digress...You've been taking care of him for 4 years why do you think he's now going to want things to change with a smile on his face? If you want a baller you need to find a baller who wants to take care of you. Or you need to except what you've started and learn to be happy with it. Because he has already showed you he's not going to do it and you can't change a man.

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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on May 14, 2012 at 11:04pm

You can chalk that up, hunny.  He has you to take care of him and he's NOT going to give that up to take care of you.  Move on

 London Bridges said:

Yikes!! The only reason why I made a reference to my looks was so that you guys didn't think I was taking care of a man because I was a hag lol My self esteem issues are no more than those of any other woman lol I take care of my men because I genuinely like to make people happy. I just want that to be reciprocated. I have spoken to him about it but there hasn't been a change and it's frustrating. In response to CCD I want HIM to get his s*** together and be my baller!!!!!! or a secret rendezvous with one (oh please I don't have the courage and I would feel like s***)  lol I love him to death but I'm really not happy. 

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Permalink Reply by paperchaser on May 15, 2012 at 1:31am

i totally agree with him!
 
Tone said:

London  don't you feel that your man should want to make you feel happy too?  You have talked to him about how you feel and he has did nothing to change his ways.  If you stay with him you are only preventing your own happiness.
London Bridges said:

Yikes!! The only reason why I made a reference to my looks was so that you guys didn't think I was taking care of a man because I was a hag lol My self esteem issues are no more than those of any other woman lol I take care of my men because I genuinely like to make people happy. I just want that to be reciprocated. I have spoken to him about it but there hasn't been a change and it's frustrating. In response to CCD I want HIM to get his s*** together and be my baller!!!!!! or a secret rendezvous with one (oh please I don't have the courage and I would feel like s***)  lol I love him to death but I'm really not happy. 

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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on May 15, 2012 at 9:02am

I agree. In a sense you kind of birth the demon. If you took care of him for 4 years, guarantee he's not going to change unless he really really wants to. I think he's making it obvious he doesn't want to otherwise he'd make more of an effort to return the favor.

Moving In Silence said:

This is so many degrees of wrong. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if she thought I was taking care of a man. But I digress...You've been taking care of him for 4 years why do you think he's now going to want things to change with a smile on his face? If you want a baller you need to find a baller who wants to take care of you. Or you need to except what you've started and learn to be happy with it. Because he has already showed you he's not going to do it and you can't change a man.

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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on May 15, 2012 at 9:31am

Right @Eleven8.

The tone of the relationship was set 4yrs ago and that's a long time. Will be challenging for him to change. You didn't say anything so he settled in.

@LB, your desire for change shows your maturity in the relationship and most people go through that. You say you love him, but does he love you? If he loves you he shouldn't be offended if you let him know you want him to take the initiative once in a while to treat you special without you asking. Be prepared for changes in the relationship based on his response.

Eleven8 said:

I agree. In a sense you kind of birth the demon. If you took care of him for 4 years, guarantee he's not going to change unless he really really wants to. I think he's making it obvious he doesn't want to otherwise he'd make more of an effort to return the favor.

Moving In Silence said:

This is so many degrees of wrong. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if she thought I was taking care of a man. But I digress...You've been taking care of him for 4 years why do you think he's now going to want things to change with a smile on his face? If you want a baller you need to find a baller who wants to take care of you. Or you need to except what you've started and learn to be happy with it. Because he has already showed you he's not going to do it and you can't change a man.

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on May 15, 2012 at 9:53am

Who has been schooling Tone? *sips tea*

Desiree' said:

Agree 100% with Tone

Tone said:

London  don't you feel that your man should want to make you feel happy too?  You have talked to him about how you feel and he has did nothing to change his ways.  If you stay with him you are only preventing your own happiness.
London Bridges said:

Yikes!! The only reason why I made a reference to my looks was so that you guys didn't think I was taking care of a man because I was a hag lol My self esteem issues are no more than those of any other woman lol I take care of my men because I genuinely like to make people happy. I just want that to be reciprocated. I have spoken to him about it but there hasn't been a change and it's frustrating. In response to CCD I want HIM to get his s*** together and be my baller!!!!!! or a secret rendezvous with one (oh please I don't have the courage and I would feel like s***)  lol I love him to death but I'm really not happy. 

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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on May 15, 2012 at 10:02am

*sipping T right next to you* you know the ole saying if ya can't beat em, join em ~ welp methinks this is happening here. lol

CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she said:

Who has been schooling Tone? *sips tea*

Desiree' said:

Agree 100% with Tone

Tone said:

London  don't you feel that your man should want to make you feel happy too?  You have talked to him about how you feel and he has did nothing to change his ways.  If you stay with him you are only preventing your own happiness.
London Bridges said:

Yikes!! The only reason why I made a reference to my looks was so that you guys didn't think I was taking care of a man because I was a hag lol My self esteem issues are no more than those of any other woman lol I take care of my men because I genuinely like to make people happy. I just want that to be reciprocated. I have spoken to him about it but there hasn't been a change and it's frustrating. In response to CCD I want HIM to get his s*** together and be my baller!!!!!! or a secret rendezvous with one (oh please I don't have the courage and I would feel like s***)  lol I love him to death but I'm really not happy. 

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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on May 15, 2012 at 11:01am

Tell ol boy you need a break.

Get a sugar daddy/baller in the meantime.

Have dates w/ your ex with all of your gifts in tow...

That Gucci bag on your arm...Versace heels....diamonds...

Show him that men are willing to spoil you.

Just don't give it up to the SD/Baller.

Is that petty? lol 

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Permalink Reply by goldfinger on May 15, 2012 at 11:09am

How are you 'taking care of' your man?  Are you buying his clothes, paying his bills (cell, car, rent), cooking meals, purchasing trips, helping him develop professionally, nuturing his emotions, sexing him up on the regular with all the freaky ish he likes?  Just curious.

 

Now, I personally cringe when I hear a girl wants to be spoiled.  I know there are men out there that cater to the point of spoilage, but that's not me.  Tell me what would being spoiled mean to you?  Does your man have disposable income to buy you the gifts you deserve and is choosing not to purchase them or is he broke for all intents and purposes.  If it's the later, you need a new man.  If it's the former, you need to tell him the importance of buying gifts.  Expecting him to know on his own is a recipe for disaster.  Tell him what you want.  Reinforce your stance when he doesn't meet your needs and reward him when he does. 

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on May 15, 2012 at 11:25am

-what the hell do you really deserve? if its material stuff just get a sugardaddy n call it a day

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on May 15, 2012 at 11:41am

Goldfinger is spot on.

I have a few questions too:

1) Does he have the potential to become a baller?

2) If yes what is standing in his way? Or how much longer until it happens?

3) If no, are you willing to stay with him as he is?

University of Smitty said:

You can chalk that up, hunny.  He has you to take care of him and he's NOT going to give that up to take care of you.  Move on

 London Bridges said:

Yikes!! The only reason why I made a reference to my looks was so that you guys didn't think I was taking care of a man because I was a hag lol My self esteem issues are no more than those of any other woman lol I take care of my men because I genuinely like to make people happy. I just want that to be reciprocated. I have spoken to him about it but there hasn't been a change and it's frustrating. In response to CCD I want HIM to get his s*** together and be my baller!!!!!! or a secret rendezvous with one (oh please I don't have the courage and I would feel like s***)  lol I love him to death but I'm really not happy. 

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Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on May 15, 2012 at 1:07pm

Agree.  If a man can't do what I need him to do, then we're done.  If you've talked to him and he's done nothing you should try and distance yourself  from him. Tell him you need space to think.  Let him know you're serious about this.  He has two choices:  get with it or get lost.
 
Tone said:

London  don't you feel that your man should want to make you feel happy too?  You have talked to him about how you feel and he has did nothing to change his ways.  If you stay with him you are only preventing your own happiness.
London Bridges said:

Yikes!! The only reason why I made a reference to my looks was so that you guys didn't think I was taking care of a man because I was a hag lol My self esteem issues are no more than those of any other woman lol I take care of my men because I genuinely like to make people happy. I just want that to be reciprocated. I have spoken to him about it but there hasn't been a change and it's frustrating. In response to CCD I want HIM to get his s*** together and be my baller!!!!!! or a secret rendezvous with one (oh please I don't have the courage and I would feel like s***)  lol I love him to death but I'm really not happy. 

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