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Permalink Reply by luvsmoochez on July 31, 2012 at 11:20am

Like most things in life there has to be a balance. I would not cut off all of my single friends, but there are certainly associates that I have b/c I know when we go out we attract attention and our goal is to look for men. I would let those chicks go. But my girls that I grew up aren't going anywhere single or married. I usually date Alpha males and therefore don't have issues with them being influenced by their single homies. Also, a man's married friends are a good source of info...if they are married and always bringing a different female around then you know as a group that's acceptable in their circle.

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Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on July 31, 2012 at 11:52am

It's up to him to determine what's important. His single friends and the single life, or his girl and their relationship. I think a real man would know how to balance e two.

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Permalink Reply by Slim G on July 31, 2012 at 12:11pm

Hey Boss, nice post touchy subject!

I believe your man's single friends are a negative influence if HE ALLOW's them to be...I want a man that can hang with single friends but know's and respects the fact that he has a beautiful woman waiting at home for him that he can't wait to get home to... (I'm dreaming right) I do think there are some of those out there.

When I get into a relationship I don't necessarily CUT my single friends off but I proceed with caution, I don't cut them off because why should my friends (single or married) suffer because I got into a relationship, they didn't change, but I have to change how i approach situations with them, because I cannot do the same things they do when it comes to certain activities..

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Permalink Reply by DdoubleD on July 31, 2012 at 1:32pm

A man should be a man and not allow anyone to influence his decision making. He needs to be a leader not a follower!

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Permalink Reply by Love is a Losing Game on July 31, 2012 at 2:39pm

I would not expect my man to cut off his single friends. Honestly, I think if a man is going to cheat, he is going to do just that. We will go crazy tryna do this and that so he won't cheat. I encourage my dude to go out and hang, even with his single lady bouncing friend. Ultimately, there is nothing I can do to make him not be a willing participant in any of his single friend's fuckery, and if he does, that means that it is time for me to move around. I have a friend that is divorcing and she is seeing a married man. His wife knows about her, and they do a travel thing where she goes to his city and he comes to hers. Do I agree? no. Will I participate in the BS and get me a married boo? no. Will I hang, drink, shop, relax, do hair, talk, laugh, with her? Absolutely. My Man has to trust that I can make decisions that will have a positive affect on our relationship. And I agree, your man's friends tells alot about their "culture" as friends and they type of ish that could be going down.   P.s. my dude doesn't do a lot of hanging out and kickin it. He doesnt have many friends either, but my openness and trying to get him to hang is a reason why I think he doesn't. Maybe not tho. I say try some reverse psy and tell/show him that you are not intimidated by his single friends and their lifestyles. 

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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on July 31, 2012 at 3:43pm

I have had several friends cut me off once they got coupled up. But I never cut off my friends. If you cut off your friends who do you talk to, shop, with and use to get away fom your man, lol. You always need a girls night out every now and again. It doesn't have to be in the club, but the spa or mall are always nice too.

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Permalink Reply by Bonita on July 31, 2012 at 4:28pm

Guys tend to maintain valued friendships regardless of if they are single or not. Women on the other had tend to cut off their friends.

Its important to have a life outside of your relationship and you should know not to partake in single guys activities when you are married hang out with the boys look but don't touch

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Permalink Reply by AlterEgo on July 31, 2012 at 5:26pm

It seems as if females are more prone to cut their girls off than vice-versa. I had a female friend cut me off b/c she got a new boo, mind u she was so desperate initially so I guess when he came alone, she didn't know how to act. Men on the other hand seem different. Their boys always seem to be there. I think it is healthy to have single friends, because girl time is always a necessity.

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Permalink Reply by WorkInProgress on October 30, 2012 at 11:59pm

I agree with all thee above. I have a few friends that cut me off/ distance themselves as soon as they get that "man" they wanted but as soon as trouble brews, they ring my phone or try to reel me in the madness.#no go

 

I on the other hand don't believe cutting friends off is neede but you do have to know the difference (as stated above) when you are in a realtionship and what boundaries you should go towards compared to being single. SN: sometimes having a single friend(s) can be harmful because you never know when the green eye(jealousy) monster will arrive.

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Permalink Reply by BlkButtafly on October 31, 2012 at 8:41am

The way I see it is I am his partner, not his babysitter. I prefer men who know what they want. If I'm the one you want and you're sure of it, then your single friends shouldn't influence you.

On the other hand, I hate when a female comes along and makes her man cut off ALL of his single guy friends as well as female friends. Once, a good friend of mine got into a relationship and this new chick gave him a LIST of the females in his life that he couldn't talk to anymore. He agreed with her to her face but still was my friend behind her back (that's a whole other story.)

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Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on October 31, 2012 at 3:38pm

We all need friends, male and female. As long as no one oversteps their boundaries then it should be good. The minute boundaries are crossed then the SO handles his friends and I handle mine. I am not going to be up under my man 24/7 and he isn't going to be up under me 24/7. You need a life separate from each other. That's how you stay off the news.

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