Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by CCD is Workin on a baller 4 she on May 15, 2011 at 4:09am

Girl, handle your business. A year from now you will be done with school and have no school loans to pay back.

Justyn Case said:

and my guys know my situation.  When i asked them for help before (1st time) when i hit my road block they said they had no problem cause they know my situation and know im not out here not trying to better myself.  one said he would rather ask him than to run and get loans and put myself in a worse situation.  I am not layin around not doing anything with my life. 

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Permalink Reply by LuLu on May 15, 2011 at 12:25pm

That is so scary that women place themselves in this position - first, never enter into a marriage where you sign away all your rights. Thats just straight crazy and you are setting yourself up for a completely imbalanced and one sided relationship. That will never work in the long run.  I have no pre-nup, and Im in a community property state, and all of our money was earned during the marriage, so I would get half if we got divorced, but half would still be a big step down.  I can't imagine what these women are doing that have a pre-nup and no back up plan.  Gotta be thinking long term at all times ladies, nothing stays the same, and you and your man WILL change over time.  Hopefully you change together and stay together, but you never know what life will throw at you, so be prepared.   I hope it works out for your friend!!

tru2this said:

That's so true. A girlfriend of mine is going through something similar now. After 9 years of marriage her husband is leaving her and she signed a prenuptial saying that if she were to file that she wouldn't get anything. That really sucks for her and she doesn't have any children with him either. She staying with me now and looking to get back into cosmetology school so hopefully she can come work in my salon. Terrible things can happen in the blink of an eye.

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Permalink Reply by Desiree' on May 15, 2011 at 1:12pm

I agree it is always good to have your own but at the same time there is nothing wrong with having your man treat you like a queen and spoiling you. I will accept nothing less. Spend his and save yours.I'm doing really well for myself now but i wasnt always. I made him take care of all the financial responsibilities until i got on my feet. Hell, even when i got a great job i still didnt contribute any of my money. 

tru2this said:

^ True. However, I might come off as saying "oh dont work just sit on your ass and look pretty" no I think its very valuable to be in school and have your own business or something. BUT for SOME women being a "kept" woman is expected.

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Permalink Reply by Desiree' on May 15, 2011 at 1:15pm

Most men with money don't care if you have kids or not as long as your not getting with them as a sole purpose of them providing for your kids.

Tone said:

depends on how good she looks most dudes not trying to deal with women with kids just the way it is.
tru2this said:

I beg to differ. She's a young single mom who's also working hard in school. Some man will see that and want to help her and make things easy for her any way he can. I didn't have a child but those were my experinces with men, which led to a marriage.

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Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on May 15, 2011 at 4:55pm

^^ i agree. With so many men out here with kids themselves from a previous marriage or relationship, they aren't out here turning their noses up at a woman with kids. As long as they're not still in diapers (i'm assuming) and you dont have a whole tribe of kids. Also, if your kid is well mannered and not a tyrant, most men are accepting the fact that you have a child.

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on May 16, 2011 at 9:03am

I agree with Tone... 



Tone said:

Did you read the thread about despise the free lunch? Those guys may give you money but now you have to depend on them for your needs and wants. And I am sure they want something in return
Justyn Case said:

and my guys know my situation.  When i asked them for help before (1st time) when i hit my road block they said they had no problem cause they know my situation and know im not out here not trying to better myself.  one said he would rather ask him than to run and get loans and put myself in a worse situation.  I am not layin around not doing anything with my life. 

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on May 16, 2011 at 9:13am

I don't believe anyone here said work & don't accept gifts... But to use what she has & what they give to get her own stuff... 
There are plenty of stories about chicks that had to go back to school or work after giving up everything to tag along with their baller... Why go through that when it's unnecessary... 
I learned right here on BA that when in need, always pad the numbers so you can have a cushion... And if she's screwing 3 dudes, then she should be padding that savings quite nicely & it doesn't seem as if she's doing so... Ifyou have a skill USE it!!!!! I don't see the harm in learning to take care of herself... 
Then there's her daughter, that's HER responsibility!!!!!! Period!!!! If ballets are willing to help out because she has a kid & is in school, so be it. But at the end of the day, them niggas ain't responsible for her child... 

Women have to learn to be SMART. Period... And she obviously isn't doing that... 

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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on May 16, 2011 at 10:35am

lmao @ Tone. You about to start a war up in here.

 

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on May 16, 2011 at 10:44am

I agree with this, and I pray she listens... 

Tone said:

sorry but this is b*******
Fly Chickadee said:

Just, I agree with you but it seems as though she is in school...you have to think long term. I dont think her intention is to LIVE OFF these dudes for the rest of her life and NOT have her own, just until she finishes school next year..

Young chick, LISTEN TO THE FLY ONE! Graduate baby! While u r in school, get what you can from ur ballers! YOUR P**** AND TIME ARE NOT FREE! Dont sacrifice your spiritual, physical, emotional, and PARENTAL WELL BEING FOR A BALLER THOUGH! What I mean is: have rules young one! Right AFFIRMATIONS TO YOURSELF AND REMIND YOURSELF EVERYDAY WHY YOU ARE DOING THINGS THIS WAY AND THINK OF YOUR DAUGHTER AT ALL TIMES! Dont let ANY MAN that you are NOT in a long term relationship be around her PERIOD! Get what you can from them while you are in school!, GRADUATE!, after graduation GET A GOOD JOB OR BETTER YET, GET A TRADE! It is hard finding a job paying what YOU are WORTH! NO EMPLOYER WILL EVER PAY YOU YOUR TRUE VALUE! Get a trade like cosmetology, interior design, wedding planner, or sell Real Estate! BECOME SELF EMPLOYED BUT WORK FOR SOMEONE UNTIL YOU CAN GET TO THAT POINT! You and YOUR DAUGHTER NEED HEALTH INSURANCE AND LIFE INSURANCE! So know matter how much a baller gives you,it he wont give you that! LOL!

Now ALWAYS GET YOUR OWN! STACK YOURS! Spend HIS! MAKE A MAN SUPPLY YOUR WANTS and YOU supply you and your daughters needs! UNTIL you meet THE ONE! The right baller knows that it is HIS responsibility to help you be the BEST YOU you can be! A true baller, real man understands he is responsible for giving you and your daughter the BEST OF EVERYTHING and alwayss remember YOUR BODY, YOUR MIND, YOUR TIME, YOUR SKILLS, YOUR LOVE, AND YOUR LIFE LESSONS ARE NOT FREE: THEY COST! Make yourself an ASSET! GRADUATE AND LEARN TO PROVIDE FOR YOURSELF, WHILE YOU HAVE BALLERS STACK CHIPS! BUT ALWAYS DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF!

ANY WOMAN that lays with a man for FREE! is a foolish woman and has NOTHING TO GIVE! I am not just talking monetarily either! As you get older, you learn that everytime you are with a man you leave a little of yourself with him! IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THAT THEN YOU JUST DONT KNOW! So, remember life is PUSH AND PULL! Like attracts like! Get YOURS, SAVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! Work AND PROVIDE! Teach your daughter how to get what she is worth from a man, from her employer, from life, and teach her her value! Remember be that PROVERBS 31 WOMAN! She is the woman desired by men AND admired by other women! She is industrious but also her man cherishes her, her children value and admire her, and she gets the BEST OUT OF LIFE FOR HERSELF AND HER FAMILY!!!

Good Luck Young Chick! If the FLY ONE and LULU did it, you can too!

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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on May 16, 2011 at 10:57am

This is what you got from this??? Young buck, keep working on yourself :)

Tone said:

I just feel if you want a lifestyle you go out and work for it. Plus she is making it seem like women are above men and we are suppose to do everything and a woman just gets the world simply based on the fact that she is a woman.
SPICE said:

lmao @ Tone. You about to start a war up in here.

 

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Permalink Reply by SACK CHASER on May 16, 2011 at 11:18am

CHUUUUCH!!

Fly Chickadee said:

@Tone: Where did you get from my response that women are above men? It is EVIDENT that you either lack comprehension skills or the ability to think logically or analytically! If I quoted Proverbs 31, then one would assume I follow the teachings of Jesus right? With that being said, one can also conclude that the Fly One believes the MAN IS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD AND THE WOMAN IS THE HELPMATE! right? That is what Jesus taught us! Also, the bible teaches us that the MAN PROVIDES! BUT THAT A WOMAN SHOULD BE INDUSTRIOUS! That means a woman PROVIDES TOO! SHE CONTRIBUTE!

Thats enough! If you dont know, you just dont know! LOL! (..back to my chaisse and wine)

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on May 16, 2011 at 12:27pm

And that's a wrap... 

Or at least it should be... 

Fly Chickadee said:

@Tone: Do you have money? If not, you have nothing to offer but a hard d*** and frankly, I'd rather have a hard d*** that values me, knows HIS WORTH, has high self esteem (hint..getsome), loves his mother-sister-aunts, etc, knows how to ptovide, is an Alpha male, IS SELF-MADE, knows and believes in Jesus, believes in his purpose, and can offer not only romance but finance! Just as I can! Frankly, a hard d*** with finances is a must! I value my worth! I believe a woman should take care of her man's physical, emotional, intellectual, financial, and spiritual needs! A woman should be good with money so he can trust her to look after the household! She must ALSO support the household financially...but is man's purpose to provide! Sorry...

As I am not one to masturbate with fake dicks, I would suffer to say I'd much rather have a hard, financially secure d*** but believe me I know how to be by myself when I choose. But get this here Tone: yes, enjoyable sexual relations are wonderful, but YOU ARE NOT A MAN IF YOU GO TO A WOMAN'S HOUSE, MAKE LOVE TO HER, THEN GET UP AND WALK OUT WITHOUT CONTRIBUTING TO HER HOUSEHOLD IN SOME MANNER....if you dot have money, wash her car....fix the sink that is stopped up, mow her lawn, hang some ceiling fans for her, buy her some laundry detergent and soap, pay a light bill, HELL CONTRIBUT SOMETHING! If you dont; you are NOT A MAN! Just a lil boy with a hard ass d***!

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