Having a Baby Is the New Marriage

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Permalink Reply by Bri83 on July 12, 2009 at 5:17pm

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on July 12, 2009 at 6:29pm

cause Tameka was an old ass trick that used her position as his stylist to get in good, she turned him against his mother & plenty of people that had his back... remember she was married... Lala for the most part seems to support Melo unconditionally & still does her own thing as far as earning $ with her VH1... I don't think its marriage vs. babymama as much as its some of the women involved...

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by MRSBIG on July 12, 2009 at 6:51pm

if women want to they change that

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Permalink Reply by MRSBIG on July 12, 2009 at 6:52pm

being a wife has legal benefits, cause of death and such, wives are protected with or without a will with or without a child

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by MRSBIG on July 12, 2009 at 6:57pm

at the end of the day there will be women who hate other women because they are married and they are not (and want to be), hence Tameka and Usher, there are some women that can get a man to commit with a drop of the hat, they get married divorced, married again, others not so lucky will always be second fiddle, will always be the baby carrier, the mattress or what have you, the goal is to achieve all that is best, never second, wife and marriage IN THIS COUNTRY, will always be epitome of desirability and security, don't listen to the marketing or the songs

JustMe said:

cause Tameka was an old ass trick that used her position as his stylist to get in good, she turned him against his mother & plenty of people that had his back... remember she was married... Lala for the most part seems to support Melo unconditionally & still does her own thing as far as earning $ with her VH1... I don't think its marriage vs. babymama as much as its some of the women involved...

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on July 12, 2009 at 7:52pm

yes in this country being the wife gives you more status & security... but at what costs?

MRSBIG said:

at the end of the day there will be women who hate other women because they are married and they are not (and want to be), hence Tameka and Usher, there are some women that can get a man to commit with a drop of the hat, they get married divorced, married again, others not so lucky will always be second fiddle, will always be the baby carrier, the mattress or what have you, the goal is to achieve all that is best, never second, wife and marriage IN THIS COUNTRY, will always be epitome of desirability and security, don't listen to the marketing or the songs

JustMe said:

cause Tameka was an old ass trick that used her position as his stylist to get in good, she turned him against his mother & plenty of people that had his back... remember she was married... Lala for the most part seems to support Melo unconditionally & still does her own thing as far as earning $ with her VH1... I don't think its marriage vs. babymama as much as its some of the women involved...

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by Tee on July 12, 2009 at 9:43pm

Then you have to remember some ppl are not fit for marriage and cant truly commit to one person. I dont want to get married AT ALL... but if i find a man i can have a kid with and we both are mature enough to understand what we want then i will do it.

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Permalink Reply by blackback on July 12, 2009 at 10:12pm

I could NEVER have a baby out of WEDLOCK...

I barely can STAND kids and REFUSE to conceive one without marriage FIRST, and NOT just marriage because I am preggo. sorry

I dont care WHO you are

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on July 12, 2009 at 10:34pm

and more people should think like this...

DatAtlantaChick said:

I could NEVER have a baby out of WEDLOCK...

I barely can STAND kids and REFUSE to conceive one without marriage FIRST, and NOT just marriage because I am preggo. sorry

I dont care WHO you are

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Permalink Reply by Bri83 on July 13, 2009 at 1:00am

I hear you, but I feel like there is a double standard, if you have a baby out of wedlock by a man who is rich, then you're considered smart, and "set for life", yet if his ass is broke, then you're a fool. And if you marry a man who is rich then you're smart, since again you're "set for life", but if he's broke, its like why did you marry him!! IDK, its all confusing, every situation is different, its really about what you make of it, and how you handle things. In LaLa & Melo's situation, their life seems so great while their engaged, so its like why get married, and complicate things????

MRSBIG said:

being a wife has legal benefits, cause of death and such, wives are protected with or without a will with or without a child

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by Bri83 on July 13, 2009 at 1:05am

See my thing with Usher is, why did he marry her knowing she was no good, she already had a husband, and other kids, but she ditched them to be with him, and he got to experience firsthand how evil she is. And, I just feel like it does depend on the woman, if a man feels like giving you a ring is gonna keep you quiet, and make you happy, then why should he marry you. Once you have a baby, and an engagement ring, why should there be a wedding, ya'll already living as a family???

JustMe said:

cause Tameka was an old ass trick that used her position as his stylist to get in good, she turned him against his mother & plenty of people that had his back... remember she was married... Lala for the most part seems to support Melo unconditionally & still does her own thing as far as earning $ with her VH1... I don't think its marriage vs. babymama as much as its some of the women involved...

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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Permalink Reply by JustMe on July 13, 2009 at 1:15am

you just hit the nail on the head, a lot of women are given a ring to shut them up... At some point we should decide on a venue, colors, attendants, etc... Tameka did get Ursh to the altar, & she did pop out 2 kids, but the marriage is over... Another misconception is that if a dude has $ you are set for life, thats not necessarily so... you have to actually end up with the kids to get child support & depending on the state you may not be entitled to half of everything... and alimony is not guaranteed for the rest of your life...

Bri83 said:

See my thing with Usher is, why did he marry her knowing she was no good, she already had a husband, and other kids, but she ditched them to be with him, and he got to experience firsthand how evil she is. And, I just feel like it does depend on the woman, if a man feels like giving you a ring is gonna keep you quiet, and make you happy, then why should he marry you. Once you have a baby, and an engagement ring, why should there be a wedding, ya'll already living as a family???

JustMe said:

cause Tameka was an old ass trick that used her position as his stylist to get in good, she turned him against his mother & plenty of people that had his back... remember she was married... Lala for the most part seems to support Melo unconditionally & still does her own thing as far as earning $ with her VH1... I don't think its marriage vs. babymama as much as its some of the women involved...

Bri83 said:

I just feel that lately, the role of being a "baby mama" is much more accepted, and much more glorified then being a wife. It seems that being a "baby mama" is much more respected, since the woman is bonded with the man for life through the child, and being a wife is temporary. Example, everyone loves LaLa and Carmelo together, but hated Usher and Tameka, why is that?

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