Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Skytz0100 on November 8, 2010 at 3:12pm

Wow. How much did you pay so far. I would love to do it but with my boo's swimmer's but the quote was like 15-20 thousand. I am like damn, I could go buy a house with that. But I have the equipment however, i have some parts missing so insemination would be my only option. How did you go about getting it started, who did you call, and how soon did you go in and have the procedure done after you decided that's what you were going to do?

And you are just nervous cause you are anticipating those words, you're pregnant! LMAO, just keep calm and take it one day at a time.

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Permalink Reply by Savoir Faire on November 8, 2010 at 3:27pm

First off let me say, I'm happy for you. But I need to say children need BOTH of their parents. The older I get I see how much me and my brother (who actually had his father in his life before he passed) needed both that male and female energy. I pray to God that you will find at least a friend who can be a father figure in your child's life. I know an acquaintance who was conceived this way and even though she will never say it to her mother, whom she loves too much to tell her the truth, longs to have a father not a sperm donor.

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Permalink Reply by Ms. Ashley Banks on November 8, 2010 at 3:48pm

Tracy, I'll pray for you girl. You're making a bold decision. Please keep us posted on the process and what it's like for you. I'm sure many women (and men) that visit this site can benefit from it. I do know from single women who've gone through insemination or adoption (as well as men who've adopted). you will need a major family supporting you. I hope your family truly reaches out and helps you and the baby. Congrats!

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Permalink Reply by Tracy on November 8, 2010 at 3:51pm

Thanks AB. The process is .......I don't find it physically demanding, but I can see how someone would. They just called and said the egg retrieval will be on Wednesday so the transfer will be Saturday. My BFF is going to give me the shots I need to take in my hip. I have a few GREAT friends. Family is really hit or miss.

Ashley Banks, the Geeky Mynx said:

Tracy, I'll pray for you girl. You're making a bold decision. Please keep us posted on the process and what it's like for you. I'm sure many women (and men) that visit this site can benefit from it. I do know from single women who've gone through insemination or adoption (as well as men who've adopted). you will need a major family supporting you. I hope your family truly reaches out and helps you and the baby. Congrats!

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Permalink Reply by Denise on November 8, 2010 at 3:53pm

Put it in Gods hands now.......just relax and think positive thoughts......Praying for you.....cause @ this rate, I'll be going down a similar path soon


Keep us posted

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Permalink Reply by Tracy on November 8, 2010 at 4:00pm

Skyttlez I work in the Pharmaceutical industry and they have great benefits. I had to pay for the sperm - 1 vial including shipping was like $700. They prefer you to have two vials because you don't know how they'll react to the thaw process. other than that, the procedures and meds were covered except for $25 on the medications and a $10 co-pay for monitoring (every other day, and now daily until retrieval) so like $70 bucks.

I researched fertility practices in my area and looked at their success rates, etc. Visited their message boards and looked at what people had to say about the practice, the doctors, the practice etc. Made an appt for a consultation, met with the doctor. She did a brief exam same day. They give you a work up sheet and you go for a million blood tests, an mammogram (depending on age) and whatever else they can think of. I had to see a psychologist too because I was going it alone and using donor sperm - they wanna make sure you have realistic expectations. They offering group counseling sessions and their are LOADS of message boards online. I go get a physical every year so alot of what they wanted - I already had and it was recent enough to be included.

I went July 7th for my consult. I was going to start in August but the laboratory closes once a quarter for maintenance and my cycle started 4 days too late. So I did a Lupron cycle starting in October and my retrieval is Wed with transfer tentatively scheduled for Saturday.

Now that it's actually becoming real, I'm a little anxious just to see if it will work. I committed myself to one shot.

skyttlez77563 said:

Wow. How much did you pay so far. I would love to do it but with my boo's swimmer's but the quote was like 15-20 thousand. I am like damn, I could go buy a house with that. But I have the equipment however, i have some parts missing so insemination would be my only option. How did you go about getting it started, who did you call, and how soon did you go in and have the procedure done after you decided that's what you were going to do?
And you are just nervous cause you are anticipating those words, you're pregnant! LMAO, just keep calm and take it one day at a time.

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Permalink Reply by Tracy on November 8, 2010 at 4:02pm

Thank you. I wrestled with that for some time. I have a few positive male role models in my life at varying ages who will be great role models for my child. I thoroughly recognize that my choice is extremely selfish for a number of reasons. I can only hope for the best and hope that if it works, my child will appreciate why things happen the way they have.

Savoir Faire said:

First off let me say, I'm happy for you. But I need to say children need BOTH of their parents. The older I get I see how much me and my brother (who actually had his father in his life before he passed) needed both that male and female energy. I pray to God that you will find at least a friend who can be a father figure in your child's life. I know an acquaintance who was conceived this way and even though she will never say it to her mother, whom she loves too much to tell her the truth, longs to have a father not a sperm donor.

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Permalink Reply by Tracy on November 8, 2010 at 4:05pm

BUT, let me add, the price they charged insurance for my meds was like 3000, and the fertility practice I used charges cash patients like 12000. The rate insurance pays is like 6000. There's a website resolve.org I believe that's it, it is a resource for people who want to conceive and cost is a factor.

Tracy said:

Skyttlez I work in the Pharmaceutical industry and they have great benefits. I had to pay for the sperm - 1 vial including shipping was like $700. They prefer you to have two vials because you don't know how they'll react to the thaw process. other than that, the procedures and meds were covered except for $25 on the medications and a $10 co-pay for monitoring (every other day, and now daily until retrieval) so like $70 bucks.
I researched fertility practices in my area and looked at their success rates, etc. Visited their message boards and looked at what people had to say about the practice, the doctors, the practice etc. Made an appt for a consultation, met with the doctor. She did a brief exam same day. They give you a work up sheet and you go for a million blood tests, an mammogram (depending on age) and whatever else they can think of. I had to see a psychologist too because I was going it alone and using donor sperm - they wanna make sure you have realistic expectations. They offering group counseling sessions and their are LOADS of message boards online. I go get a physical every year so alot of what they wanted - I already had and it was recent enough to be included.

I went July 7th for my consult. I was going to start in August but the laboratory closes once a quarter for maintenance and my cycle started 4 days too late. So I did a Lupron cycle starting in October and my retrieval is Wed with transfer tentatively scheduled for Saturday.

Now that it's actually becoming real, I'm a little anxious just to see if it will work. I committed myself to one shot.

skyttlez77563 said:

Wow. How much did you pay so far. I would love to do it but with my boo's swimmer's but the quote was like 15-20 thousand. I am like damn, I could go buy a house with that. But I have the equipment however, i have some parts missing so insemination would be my only option. How did you go about getting it started, who did you call, and how soon did you go in and have the procedure done after you decided that's what you were going to do? And you are just nervous cause you are anticipating those words, you're pregnant! LMAO, just keep calm and take it one day at a time.

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Permalink Reply by Candy on November 8, 2010 at 4:31pm

I don't see why anyone would willing want to be a single parent? But it is your decision and yours alone so we can do nothing but respect it. Good luck to you. Wish you the best.

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Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on November 8, 2010 at 6:10pm

OMG!!! Tracy I am so happy for you!! And I am in your corner, I can understand you being scared to get excited because you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment, but now all you can do is put it in Gods hands...Congrats love!!!

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Permalink Reply by luvsmoochez on November 8, 2010 at 6:56pm

I am sure you did not come to this decision overnight, but I have a friend who decided to be a single mom and her son resents the fact that she decided to opt out on him having a dad. Prayers with u lovebug on you and your little one's journey. Being a single mom is VERY challenging, but if you partner with the right man (or men) you can make it happen. It takes a village, so keep the lines of communication open with your family.
Tracy said:

Thank you. I wrestled with that for some time. I have a few positive male role models in my life at varying ages who will be great role models for my child. I thoroughly recognize that my choice is extremely selfish for a number of reasons. I can only hope for the best and hope that if it works, my child will appreciate why things happen the way they have.
Savoir Faire said:

First off let me say, I'm happy for you. But I need to say children need BOTH of their parents. The older I get I see how much me and my brother (who actually had his father in his life before he passed) needed both that male and female energy. I pray to God that you will find at least a friend who can be a father figure in your child's life. I know an acquaintance who was conceived this way and even though she will never say it to her mother, whom she loves too much to tell her the truth, longs to have a father not a sperm donor.

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Permalink Reply by Tracy on November 8, 2010 at 7:26pm

I couldn't have said it better myself, lol. Thank you .
Yea, some of the women I met have spent $$$$$$$$$. I'm a little off, but in a good way. Did lots of soul searching and gave it a great deal of thought.

tHeOfFiCialLuRKeR said:

Why not? If you are a black woman there's a 72% chance your kid is bring born out if wedlock anyways!
I think it's great you are starting your own family or better yet recreating your own family! 
At least there will be no baby daddy drama and it will be easier to explain to a kid "mommy wanted you really bad" vs trying to explain why the father isn't present. Less hassle! I hope you have a girl. 
Just don't be like this lady I know who spent well over 30k to get her child and now she suffers from all types of issues! She had mental issues and passed them right on to the kid. She use to tell me she couldn't be a full time parent & I would hit her with the blank stare look. Like bish you paid some ppl's yearly salary to get this kid, you better hush! Lol

Candy said:

I don't see why anyone would willing want to be a single parent? But it is your decision and yours alone so we can do nothing but respect it. Good luck to you. Wish you the best.

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