I would like your opinion on love for a second.

I have been with someone that I love with all my heart for a couple of years (off and on) Just recently back on. But already it is so difficult. Every obstacle that is possible is happening. We try to break up all the time, we have both cheated in the beginning, I have forgave him fully, he said that he still can't trust me 100%. So I tell him to just let the relationship go, so we can move on and he really tries, but he can't and honestly I can't either. Our major obstacle- distance. We live in different cities, he is in his last year of being a college athlete (We are the same age) , so he can't leave and after school is done, everything is up in the air. I can't live with that kind of uncertainty. I have a good job and won't leave.

We talk all the time, but the longest we have ever spent together has been 4 days straight, so I don't even know if I got up and left to be with him, if we would even get along. I am very hard to get to know, you have to be around me A LOT & he is the same way, so it is almost like we are in the early stages of dating sometimes. I feel like he is my soul mate (sounds corny) but it is true. He is the man I want to be the father of my children and marry, but our situation is very difficult.

So after reading a little bit of background of my situation, do you believe love truly conquers all? When everything just seems to be going the opposite way of how you want, do you think it's because it is not meant to be or because it is trying to make you stronger together? I would appreciate hearing what you guys thoughts and anyone has been through something similar and how you handled it. Because I feel like I am going crazy.

Thanks :)

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I was in a situation like this I dated this guy for 3 yrs on and off i really thought he was my soul mate ( wed break up or quit talking for like months at a time date other ppl but always ended up together again) he lived in a diff city than me also so it was very hard I felt like I put everything I could to making things work but it wasnt good enuff:( just recently I got all emotional and told him I hated him for hurting me and not relizing it w this whole coming in and out of my life deal.. And that was pretty much the end between us i guess.. My advice to you is let things fall into place and not forces the situation .. They say whn you love something let it go and if it comes back its always been yours.. Its hard whn you love someone that strong but things will work out w or w out him.. Good luck AND i wish you the best
I appreciate that TRV, that whole let it go and see what happens is so true but what if they keep coming back? Its like I can't just ignore him, that seems like too much. But I guess there just needs to be a balance.
I feel where you're coming from...relationships...regardless of how much distance is there can be hard...my true feeling is that if you want it to work and he wants it to work....it can work! If you see this man as the man in your future...I say tell him...let him know what you feel and where you want this relationship to go...and his response should let you know where his head is at and you have to decide for yourself if you want to continue with him or not. Ultimately you have to decide how much of the back and forth you're willing to deal with. I know its hard, but sometimes when you know something or someone isnt good for you...its best to walk away from it...it can prevent alot of heartache later...and if/when you do walk away...you have to keep walking...ignoring him might be part ofthat process if you cant maintain contact with him without going back to him...it may seem hard or mean, but YOU have to take care of YOU...
Thanks MrShady, He talks about marriage a lot, his mother calls me her daughter-in-law lol. Trust me we have had the "talk" but we always get so discouraged afterward because we are different places in our life I guess.....

I hate giving up on somebody that hasn't giving up on me yet, but I really have considered cutting off all ties, but it just seems so harsh. But it might be necessary. You are so right. Thanks :)
BBL with my reply.
I know exactly where your coming from. I was in a similar situation. The only difference is he's locked up! I walked away from him because I felt the distance & his situation was a bit too much.

In the relationships I've been in during our on & off again relationship, I knew he was the man I wanted to marry & the man I wanted to father my children.

It got to the point where I didn't show up to the wedding date (via jail) because I was not just afraid but I was also emotionally attached to an X.

I crushed his whole world behind the "runaway bride" move, but eventually I got myself right. We're back on track & we are going to get married in 2010 or sooner.

Its true what someone said about, if you Love someone let them go, if it was urs or meant to be, the person will come back. I did & I remember telling him that when we were teens dating. He's my Soulmate!!!!

Our bond is tighter, we've both grown from it & we are blossoming. Although the distance is in bewteen, the Love is Close.

Go with your mind though, because if your mind is telling you No but your Heart is saying Yes, you gotta use your Brain, it'll save you a lot of Pain. You have to be in it, Mind, Body & Soul!!!!

Marriage should be til death do part, not Divorce do us Part.

-Sjo
I forgot to add, he must be on the same page for it to work & you both need to communicate more about this pending issue.

Don't let him choose, you need to really listen to what he has to say. Don't run with, I think he meant, No, go with his exact words. Remember if you run with the he "meant" ish, your pretty much F***** if the relationship goes Sour. He will remind you of what he told you.

Just some more of my 2cents.

-Sjo
Okay I'm back...

This is really a tough one to call...You both are having trust issues, and you're far apart. I'm going to go with the old saying, if you love something let it go...if it comes back, then you'll know...I mean you both have too much on your plate to be dealing with this from a distance.
I just wanted to let you guys know how much i appreciate you guys sharing your stories and advice. It really means a lot....

Sjo I really appreciate your advice about open communication, because that is our biggest issue. And we are working on it.

I just wanted to say thank you to you all for real :)

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