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Permalink Reply by The real vixxen on September 8, 2009 at 4:33pm

I was in a situation like this I dated this guy for 3 yrs on and off i really thought he was my soul mate ( wed break up or quit talking for like months at a time date other ppl but always ended up together again) he lived in a diff city than me also so it was very hard I felt like I put everything I could to making things work but it wasnt good enuff:( just recently I got all emotional and told him I hated him for hurting me and not relizing it w this whole coming in and out of my life deal.. And that was pretty much the end between us i guess.. My advice to you is let things fall into place and not forces the situation .. They say whn you love something let it go and if it comes back its always been yours.. Its hard whn you love someone that strong but things will work out w or w out him.. Good luck AND i wish you the best

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Permalink Reply by Babydoll on September 8, 2009 at 5:00pm

I appreciate that TRV, that whole let it go and see what happens is so true but what if they keep coming back? Its like I can't just ignore him, that seems like too much. But I guess there just needs to be a balance.

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Permalink Reply by MrShady on September 8, 2009 at 5:36pm

I feel where you're coming from...relationships...regardless of how much distance is there can be hard...my true feeling is that if you want it to work and he wants it to work....it can work! If you see this man as the man in your future...I say tell him...let him know what you feel and where you want this relationship to go...and his response should let you know where his head is at and you have to decide for yourself if you want to continue with him or not. Ultimately you have to decide how much of the back and forth you're willing to deal with. I know its hard, but sometimes when you know something or someone isnt good for you...its best to walk away from it...it can prevent alot of heartache later...and if/when you do walk away...you have to keep walking...ignoring him might be part ofthat process if you cant maintain contact with him without going back to him...it may seem hard or mean, but YOU have to take care of YOU...

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Permalink Reply by Babydoll on September 8, 2009 at 6:00pm

Thanks MrShady, He talks about marriage a lot, his mother calls me her daughter-in-law lol. Trust me we have had the "talk" but we always get so discouraged afterward because we are different places in our life I guess.....

I hate giving up on somebody that hasn't giving up on me yet, but I really have considered cutting off all ties, but it just seems so harsh. But it might be necessary. You are so right. Thanks :)

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Permalink Reply by Damnstraight on September 8, 2009 at 6:19pm

BBL with my reply.

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Permalink Reply by SjoThePoet on September 8, 2009 at 9:59pm

I know exactly where your coming from. I was in a similar situation. The only difference is he's locked up! I walked away from him because I felt the distance & his situation was a bit too much.

In the relationships I've been in during our on & off again relationship, I knew he was the man I wanted to marry & the man I wanted to father my children.

It got to the point where I didn't show up to the wedding date (via jail) because I was not just afraid but I was also emotionally attached to an X.

I crushed his whole world behind the "runaway bride" move, but eventually I got myself right. We're back on track & we are going to get married in 2010 or sooner.

Its true what someone said about, if you Love someone let them go, if it was urs or meant to be, the person will come back. I did & I remember telling him that when we were teens dating. He's my Soulmate!!!!

Our bond is tighter, we've both grown from it & we are blossoming. Although the distance is in bewteen, the Love is Close.

Go with your mind though, because if your mind is telling you No but your Heart is saying Yes, you gotta use your Brain, it'll save you a lot of Pain. You have to be in it, Mind, Body & Soul!!!!

Marriage should be til death do part, not Divorce do us Part.

-Sjo

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Permalink Reply by SjoThePoet on September 8, 2009 at 10:09pm

I forgot to add, he must be on the same page for it to work & you both need to communicate more about this pending issue.

Don't let him choose, you need to really listen to what he has to say. Don't run with, I think he meant, No, go with his exact words. Remember if you run with the he "meant" ish, your pretty much F***** if the relationship goes Sour. He will remind you of what he told you.

Just some more of my 2cents.

-Sjo

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Permalink Reply by Damnstraight on September 8, 2009 at 10:38pm

Okay I'm back...

This is really a tough one to call...You both are having trust issues, and you're far apart. I'm going to go with the old saying, if you love something let it go...if it comes back, then you'll know...I mean you both have too much on your plate to be dealing with this from a distance.

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Permalink Reply by Babydoll on October 1, 2009 at 3:56pm

I just wanted to let you guys know how much i appreciate you guys sharing your stories and advice. It really means a lot....

Sjo I really appreciate your advice about open communication, because that is our biggest issue. And we are working on it.

I just wanted to say thank you to you all for real :)

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