Waddown (sorry my chicago slang came out).....Wassup folks I have a great dilemma on my hands.  Everything is going extremely well on my end. Job is great/school is great/daughters are fan-freakin-tastic/gf is damn amazing/and even my relationship w/ the ex is much better(thats a whole other story).  However, I'm beginning to feel the walls closing in around me and I'm ready to move away from Chicago.  As much as I love it here quite frankly I'm at the point where Im not researching and pondering living abroad.  And herein lies the question:  My eldest coming with me is not a problem bc as most of you know her mom is nowwhere to be found.  However, my youngest is 4 and I hate the thought of being away from her.  My ex is finally getting healthier where I dont have to bare as much of the brunt of parenting, yet the thought of me not being within arms reach is almost unfathomable.  Yet, I feel like the walls around me are closing in.  My Woman got a fantastic offer for future employment in energy, while I have extremely promising leads in the field that I currently work in and am getting my degrees in......so my question to you all is this:

knowing that you aren't happy in your current space would you gut it out for say 10 more yrs until said child can make a decision on where they want to reside, or would you continue to build up a better relationship with that parent and come to an agreement that would work for everyone?  

Tags: f***, get, here, i, or, outta, should, the, what

Views: 438

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

i know i need to go bc i feel that ive outgrown this place, and quite frankly it would be great for my eldest psyche to really get a fresh start away from the madness she's went through...but theres my little one. We're like the three muskateers..you dont see one w/o the rest of us lol

Take both babies with you and move abroad.

Let lil mama visit her mother every summer.

This would also let her mother focus on her health and getting better.

But I know it's not that simple....

I agree.

Where do you want to move?

Phoenix said:

Take both babies with you and move abroad.

Let lil mama visit her mother every summer.

This would also let her mother focus on her health and getting better.

But I know it's not that simple....

RIGHT!!! lol...i want to so bad however her mom is very possessive.  Its not that she's overly protective of her (shes one of those women who isnt very motherly) but she has a problem with letting go of power..if that makes sense.  She knows that I'm caring and I know how to take care of things for the baby however, her giving up that power would make her vulnerable and shes not good at being vulnerable.   And I would let her visit mom every summer and whenever she wants. Her health is better but she really doesnt have motivation to REALLY get healthy. Basically doing the necessary things to really beat this thing.

Phoenix said:

Take both babies with you and move abroad.

Let lil mama visit her mother every summer.

This would also let her mother focus on her health and getting better.

But I know it's not that simple....

for me...i have great opportunities in hawaii and actually in spain.  Im in logistics and both actually deal heavily in shipping by the coast.  My gf is getting involved with a HUGE company that now wants to dive into energy.  So shes learning the legal side of energy etc. which gives us some great opportunities all around.  Years ago my aunt and uncle upped and moved to france and she said it was the best thing they ever did bc she felt like i was feeling.  LIke she was getting to big for this place"inside her own little world".

Creative Bee said:

I agree.

Where do you want to move?

Phoenix said:

Take both babies with you and move abroad.

Let lil mama visit her mother every summer.

This would also let her mother focus on her health and getting better.

But I know it's not that simple....

If she means that much to you and you cant take her with you, you should stay. You and I both know that there are certain things you have to give up when you become a parent......jumping up and bouncing when you get ready is #1.

But this is more than just jumping up and bouncing..this is not only a personal move but a career move

University of Smitty said:

If she means that much to you and you cant take her with you, you should stay. You and I both know that there are certain things you have to give up when you become a parent......jumping up and bouncing when you get ready is #1.

It's something you WANT to do; however, your daughter NEEDS her father, especially with an 'unmotherly' mother.  Which one is more important to you?? What you 'want' or what she 'needs'....
 
blackfujones said:

But this is more than just jumping up and bouncing..this is not only a personal move but a career move

University of Smitty said:

If she means that much to you and you cant take her with you, you should stay. You and I both know that there are certain things you have to give up when you become a parent......jumping up and bouncing when you get ready is #1.

Heres the kicker...the place where Im working at I've basically given myself a deadline because I've opted not to go into a particular field where they are trying to force me to work.  Basically I have four years till I either resign/move around in the company/or be fired.  And I believe its something bigger than a want, its almost like I have to get out of here. I dont want to be like everyone around me who thinks about the shoulda coulda woulda's. I've never been that type of person.  That's why I'm softening her mom up to having her come with me. But I know that will be a fight that I'll have to take to court.  And I've done that before and it DRAINED ME.  Drained me to the point where I had to take a leave of absence from everything just to rejuvenate. 

University of Smitty said:

It's something you WANT to do; however, your daughter NEEDS her father, especially with an 'unmotherly' mother.  Which one is more important to you?? What you 'want' or what she 'needs'....
 
blackfujones said:

But this is more than just jumping up and bouncing..this is not only a personal move but a career move

University of Smitty said:

If she means that much to you and you cant take her with you, you should stay. You and I both know that there are certain things you have to give up when you become a parent......jumping up and bouncing when you get ready is #1.

Sounds like your mind is made up. You should go!!! Also I'm sure these little sister might want to stay together or be with eachother. Ask them, they are old enough to express to you what they think. Now that you and are cool take advatage of it and who knows she might say "yes" 

To quote Melanie from Gone with the Wind: Children are life-renewing itself. 

 Let those two cutie-patooties renew your spirit and reshape your dreams to do what is best for them and make their dreams come true (even if that means fighting to take Lilbit with you).  You'll have no regrets when you see that what you sacrificed doesn't compare to the beautiful people you raise.


(LOLOL...yes I am a big ole square who thinks children are gifts from God.  Once you have them, it's about the gift, not you).

 

I agree.
 
TheLadyJosephine said:

To quote Melanie from Gone with the Wind: Children are life-renewing itself. 

 Let those two cutie-patooties renew your spirit and reshape your dreams to do what is best for them and make their dreams come true (even if that means fighting to take Lilbit with you).  You'll have no regrets when you see that what you sacrificed doesn't compare to the beautiful people you raise.


(LOLOL...yes I am a big ole square who thinks children are gifts from God.  Once you have them, it's about the gift, not you).

 

Reply to Discussion

RSS

ADVERTISEMENT

Ballerific Events

Connect


BallerBoards

New to Charlotte, NC

Started by Phoenix in Talk Ish. Last reply by Oneandonly 21 hours ago. 30 Replies

I just moved to Charlotte, NC and in desperate need of some folks to either hang out with or places to go and things to do bc as of right now my life consists of work and sleep. DAILYJust give me…Continue

Tags: ballers, nc, charlotte

Random Hoe and/or Hood Sh!t

Started by Sheli in Talk Ish. Last reply by EmpressSoDivine 23 hours ago. 133 Replies

I just wanted to "discuss" some random hoe or hood s*** you've witnessed that just made you say W-T-F! I'll go first....At my job there are two chicks who don't like each other and today each one…Continue

Broke Nigga Quotes

Started by Baller Alert in Talk Ish. Last reply by Spinster Jun 25. 307 Replies

List some of the things you heard broke niggas say.. I'll start: "Money isn't Everything"Continue

Tags: broke nigga quotes

There's some trolls in this house (singing)

Started by Moving In Silence in Talk Ish. Last reply by Empowered Woman aka $picey Jun 25. 13 Replies

The males on this board with the exception of a few are trolls and don't deserve attention. Please stop responding to them and they will eventually go away.

Latest Activity

Nicole liked Chantia Renee''s blog post 7 Other Things To Do Besides Look For Love - blogged by: @thewisegem
19 minutes ago
V commented on Eleven8's blog post Baller Mail - Another Woman Comes Out About Celtics Jared Sullinger
"He's a hoe-with an insatiable appetite for sex. SO????????????? That makes him like most young…"
28 minutes ago
Eleven8's 8 blog posts were featured
39 minutes ago
Eleven8 posted blog posts
42 minutes ago
Calandria Parker posted a status
"Poise Magazine, is seeking successful bachelors for their September 2015 issue. If that's you please email poisecastingdirector@gmail.com"
44 minutes ago
Kennedy commented on Eleven8's blog post Ballerific Music: Rihanna Drops 'B**** Better Have My Money' Video (Watch Here)
"video gave me life. the artistic elements and the plot twist.... love"
1 hour ago
BabyGirlWiz liked Eleven8's blog post Chris Brown Fights For Paternity Rights
2 hours ago
Denise Love commented on Eleven8's blog post Ballerific Music: Rihanna Drops 'B**** Better Have My Money' Video (Watch Here)
"LOL I actually like the video. Can't hear the song because I'm at work, but loved it!"
2 hours ago
Takiah Williams liked Eleven8's blog post Ballerific Music: Rihanna Drops 'B**** Better Have My Money' Video (Watch Here)
3 hours ago
SoLuscious commented on Eleven8's blog post Rick Ross Granted Bail For Assault & Kidnapping Case
"All of this, yet Bruce Jenner commits manslaughter, but.....sigh. Nevermind."
3 hours ago
sangle_black_female commented on Eleven8's blog post Baller Alert Exclusive: Day 26's Willie Taylor Joins Love & Hip Hop + New Cast Revealed
"I thought that was Nia Riley, I wonder if she will be back with soulja boy...and thank the creator…"
4 hours ago
Blake updated their profile
4 hours ago

© 2015   Created by Baller Alert.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Offline

Live Video