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Permalink Reply by Creative Bee on April 19, 2012 at 11:03am

I'm not sure about Hawaii, I work with 2 people who moved out from there to this desert h*** AZ because it is so expensive there, their salaries were above 100K.

I might be biased but I would say you'd have a much better quality of living in Europe so would your daughters, we want to move at some point as well, when given opportunity.  The girl can visit her mother in the Summer and Christmas, or you could convince her saying you'll help as much as you can to accommodate her if she will be willing to travel to see her daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Nu Kardashian on April 19, 2012 at 11:10am

i dont feel like you should sacrifice your career and life ambitions because you have a hard headed baby momma ... and this is coming from a single mom.

out growing your environment and staying there can be detrimental to your health and happiness. If your daughter's mom is too prideful to let you care for the child .. and is ignorant enough to let her miss out on an opportunity to live abroad - as opposed to "Chi-town"  than that choice is hers. Your responsibility as a father is to better yourself, your children, provide for them, and to expose them to the world! (weather it's vacations, boarding high schools, out of state colleges.. etc.)

My advice to you is to live your dream and extend the invitation to your daughters mom... that's all you can do! if she declines, then you will just have to have the added expense of travel costs for your daughter to visit as often as she can. When she is of a certain age , she will make a decision !

Good luck & congrats on your new opportunity!

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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on April 19, 2012 at 11:19am

That's what I'm having a hard time with.  I think kids need BOTH parents around ALL YEAR LONG.  I dont think it's right to take her away from her mother any more than it's right to leave her behind.  I understand the issues with the job but I also KNOW that sh*t can be fixed without moving to the other side of the ocean. 
 
Creative Bee said:

I'm not sure about Hawaii, I work with 2 people who moved out from there to this desert h*** AZ because it is so expensive there, their salaries were above 100K.

I might be biased but I would say you'd have a much better quality of living in Europe so would your daughters, we want to move at some point as well, when given opportunity.  The girl can visit her mother in the Summer and Christmas, or you could convince her saying you'll help as much as you can to accommodate her if she will be willing to travel to see her daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on April 19, 2012 at 11:26am

I think your daughters would be more well-rounded with the experience of living abroad.

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on April 19, 2012 at 11:29am

that actually was a beautiful saying..thnx

TheLadyJosephine said:

To quote Melanie from Gone with the Wind: Children are life-renewing itself. 

 Let those two cutie-patooties renew your spirit and reshape your dreams to do what is best for them and make their dreams come true (even if that means fighting to take Lilbit with you).  You'll have no regrets when you see that what you sacrificed doesn't compare to the beautiful people you raise.

(LOLOL...yes I am a big ole square who thinks children are gifts from God.  Once you have them, it's about the gift, not you).

 

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Permalink Reply by blackfujones on April 19, 2012 at 11:31am

I hear what youre saying. I to believe the more positive influences surrounding my children the better. But at what point do I throw my hands up n the air and say f*** it?

University of Smitty said:

That's what I'm having a hard time with.  I think kids need BOTH parents around ALL YEAR LONG.  I dont think it's right to take her away from her mother any more than it's right to leave her behind.  I understand the issues with the job but I also KNOW that sh*t can be fixed without moving to the other side of the ocean. 
 
Creative Bee said:

I'm not sure about Hawaii, I work with 2 people who moved out from there to this desert h*** AZ because it is so expensive there, their salaries were above 100K.

I might be biased but I would say you'd have a much better quality of living in Europe so would your daughters, we want to move at some point as well, when given opportunity.  The girl can visit her mother in the Summer and Christmas, or you could convince her saying you'll help as much as you can to accommodate her if she will be willing to travel to see her daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Sissy on April 19, 2012 at 11:36am

I'm with Smitty on this one.  At four years old, she needs her mother just as much as she needs you.  If her mother wants to be in her life, I think it's terrible to take her all the way to Europe (especially if she doesn't have the means to visit often).  That said, I do hear what you're saying about your career and quality of life improving in Europe- you just have to make sure it's going to be that much better for you if you have to leave her behind.

University of Smitty said:

That's what I'm having a hard time with.  I think kids need BOTH parents around ALL YEAR LONG.  I dont think it's right to take her away from her mother any more than it's right to leave her behind.  I understand the issues with the job but I also KNOW that sh*t can be fixed without moving to the other side of the ocean. 
 
Creative Bee said:

I'm not sure about Hawaii, I work with 2 people who moved out from there to this desert h*** AZ because it is so expensive there, their salaries were above 100K.

I might be biased but I would say you'd have a much better quality of living in Europe so would your daughters, we want to move at some point as well, when given opportunity.  The girl can visit her mother in the Summer and Christmas, or you could convince her saying you'll help as much as you can to accommodate her if she will be willing to travel to see her daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Nu Kardashian on April 19, 2012 at 11:52am

people leave there children to go on business ALL the time .. lets be honest here ...

children adapt to their circumstances at a faster pace than adults do.. this is the real world and not some commercial with a 2 parent home with a white picket fence sitting around the table every afternoon for brunch.

With technology today he can still be in contact with the child, and they can arrange visitation ..my boyfriend has a BM who up and moved to another state & he is still an active parent.

i dont believe this man has to limit himself. & thats just my humble opinion .

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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on April 19, 2012 at 12:00pm

When your daughters are old enough to vote.

blackfujones said:

I hear what youre saying. I to believe the more positive influences surrounding my children the better. But at what point do I throw my hands up n the air and say f*** it?

University of Smitty said:

That's what I'm having a hard time with.  I think kids need BOTH parents around ALL YEAR LONG.  I dont think it's right to take her away from her mother any more than it's right to leave her behind.  I understand the issues with the job but I also KNOW that sh*t can be fixed without moving to the other side of the ocean. 
 
Creative Bee said:

I'm not sure about Hawaii, I work with 2 people who moved out from there to this desert h*** AZ because it is so expensive there, their salaries were above 100K.

I might be biased but I would say you'd have a much better quality of living in Europe so would your daughters, we want to move at some point as well, when given opportunity.  The girl can visit her mother in the Summer and Christmas, or you could convince her saying you'll help as much as you can to accommodate her if she will be willing to travel to see her daughter.

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Permalink Reply by University of Smitty on April 19, 2012 at 12:03pm

LOL.....yeah, I can tell you dont have any kids.
 
money is the motive said:

people leave there children to go on business ALL the time .. lets be honest here ...

children adapt to their circumstances at a faster pace than adults do.. this is the real world and not some commercial with a 2 parent home with a white picket fence sitting around the table every afternoon for brunch.

With technology today he can still be in contact with the child, and they can arrange visitation ..my boyfriend has a BM who up and moved to another state & he is still an active parent.

i dont believe this man has to limit himself. & thats just my humble opinion .

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Permalink Reply by Creative Bee on April 19, 2012 at 12:10pm

I can't speak for what is better for child, only father and her mother know what is better, I just think if parents are no longer together anymore they are not obligated to live near each other putting on hold their dreams and future for the sake of the child, this sends the wrong message to the child. If they would want to sacrifice their lives for her they wouldn't divorce in the first place. If a mother loves her her child so much she would never let her go and tried to work her marriage out for the sake of her daughter, blackfu doesn't seem like an awful person and I don't see why she wouldn't put her daughter and marriage first at the time when they started having problems. I think they both should find out how they can make it work in the best interest of all of them.

Technology is insane right now, they can facetime/skype 24/7 and she can spend 3 months each Summer and winter/spring breaks.

University of Smitty said:

That's what I'm having a hard time with.  I think kids need BOTH parents around ALL YEAR LONG.  I dont think it's right to take her away from her mother any more than it's right to leave her behind.  I understand the issues with the job but I also KNOW that sh*t can be fixed without moving to the other side of the ocean. 
 
Creative Bee said:

I'm not sure about Hawaii, I work with 2 people who moved out from there to this desert h*** AZ because it is so expensive there, their salaries were above 100K.

I might be biased but I would say you'd have a much better quality of living in Europe so would your daughters, we want to move at some point as well, when given opportunity.  The girl can visit her mother in the Summer and Christmas, or you could convince her saying you'll help as much as you can to accommodate her if she will be willing to travel to see her daughter.

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Permalink Reply by Nu Kardashian on April 19, 2012 at 12:10pm

ACTUALLY ma'am if you read my first post... i said, i myself am a single parent. I see both sides. & the reality of life.

University of Smitty said:

LOL.....yeah, I can tell you dont have any kids.
 
money is the motive said:

people leave there children to go on business ALL the time .. lets be honest here ...

children adapt to their circumstances at a faster pace than adults do.. this is the real world and not some commercial with a 2 parent home with a white picket fence sitting around the table every afternoon for brunch.

With technology today he can still be in contact with the child, and they can arrange visitation ..my boyfriend has a BM who up and moved to another state & he is still an active parent.

i dont believe this man has to limit himself. & thats just my humble opinion .

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