HOW TO CATCH A HOOD RAT!!!
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I GO OUT CONSTANTLY BY MYSELF!!! I CALL IT HUNTING. MY FRIENDS ARE WEEKEND WARRIORS, BUT I. PARTY THROUGH OUT THE WEEK. YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER MALE WITH YOU, BECAUSE THEY ARE DISTRACTING TO THE FEMALES. PLUS, THAT "DO SHE HAVE A FRIEND" SHIT IS OLD.
WHEN ENTERING A NEW SPOT ALWAYS GET THE DOOR MANS NAME. YOU WILL NEED HIS NAME LATER BUT FOR NOW LETS CALL HIM BILL. WALK THROUGH THE CLUB WITH YO SWAG ON. SMILE AT EVERY GIRL YOU PASS WITH A SLIGHT HEAD NOD. NEXT, WALK OVER TO THE DJ BOOTH AND GIVE HIM THAT, "YOU POINT". HE WILL JESTER BACK THINKING YOU APPRECIATE HIS MUSIC. YOU DO THIS SO DUDES WITH BAD INTENTION WILL THINK YOU ARE THE DJ'S FRIEND AND WILL MOST LIKELY NOT MESS WITH YOU. THE GIRLS WILL THINK YOU MUST BE A REGULAR SO YOU NOW HAVE COOL POINTS. NEXT, MAKE YOUR WAY OVER TO THE BAR. TELL THE BAR TENDER THAT YOUR FRIEND BILL AT THE DOOR SAID TO COME SEE HIM OR HER AND THAT HE OR SHE MAKES THE STRONGEST DRINKS. THIS WILL GET YOU AN EXTRA POUR EVERY TIME. SHAKE HIS OR HER HAND AND TIP HIM OR HER WELL.
NEXT, PUT YOUR BACK AGAINST THE BAR FOR A BETTER VIEW TO SURVEY YOUR NEW FOUND TERRITORY. REMEMBER YOU ARE HUNTING FOR KEEPS SO YOU LOOK FOR WEAK PREY. YOU THEN SCAN THE CROWD FOR A VERY ELUSIVE CREATURE. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? YOU ARE IN SEARCH OF "THE GREAT NORTH AMERICAN HOOD RAT". THIS CRAFTY BEAST WILL TRY TO DISGUISE HERSELF AS A CLASS ACT. IF YOUR GAME IS NICE, YOU CAN SPOT HER BY HER BAD WEAVE AND FUCKED UP EDGES. THEY SOMETIMES HAVE ON SCUFFED UP HEELS AND BAD POSTURE.
ONCE YOU HAVE SPOTTED YOUR PREY DON’T RUSH HER. WATCH HER FROM A DISTANCE AND APPROACH ONLY AFTER SHE HAS HAD ONE OR TWO DRINKS. NEXT CREEP OVER TO HER AND LET HER KNOW YOU LIKE HER OUTFIT. EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A HOT ASS MESS THIS WILL HELP TO EASE HER APPREHENSION. NEXT SEPARATE HER FROM HER HATING ASS FRIENDS BY OFFERING HER A DRINK AND WALK HER TO THE BAR. ONCE AT THE BAR, LEAN OVER (OUT OF EAR RANGE OF HER) AND ASK THE BAR TENDER TO MAKE HERS A TRIPLE. REMEMBER YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU SO YOU GET A SINGLE.
WHILE SHE ENJOYS HER DRINK LET HER RUN HER MOUTH. PRETEND LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT SHE IS SAYING. MAKE HER FEEL SMART. SMILE AND SEEM VERY INTERESTED. GET HER ANOTHER TRIPLE BUT MOVE FAST. YOU DON’T WANT HER GETTING SICK ON YOU IN THE CLUB. WHAT EVER YOU DO, DON’T LET HER DANCE. SHE MIGHT SWEAT OUT THAT GOOD ALCOHOL. FIND OUT WHAT NEIGHBORHOOD SHE IS FROM. TELL HER YOU WANT TO TAKE HER OUT TO EAT AFTER THE CLUB. HOOD RATS CANNOT RESIST A FREE MEAL. SINCE YOU ALREADY WATCHED HER HAVE, WAY TO MANY DRINKS FOR HER BODY SIZE, SHE SHOULD NOW BE RIGHT FOR THE PICKING. SHE WILL TELL HER FRIEND THAT SHE IS LEAVING WITH YOU. SHE WILL EVEN LIE TO THEM AND SAY SHE KNEW YOU BEFORE THAT NIGHT.
WHILE YOU ARE WALKING HER TO THE CAR, THE DRINKS SHOULD HAVE HER STUMBLING AND GIGGLING. PLAY IT OFF! LAUGH WITH HER AND BE CHEERFUL. WHEN MOST HOOD RATS GET IN A CAR MOTION SICKNESS WILL KICK IN. SHE’LL PASS OUT IN A MATTER OF BLOCKS! MOVE QUICK! SWING PASS MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU AND PICK UP A CHEESEBURGER. NEXT, HEAD RIGHT TO THE CHEAPEST MOTEL YOU CAN FIND. LEAVE HER IN THE CAR PASSED OUT, RUN GET THE ROOM AND COME BACK. NEXT, WAKE HER DRUNKEN ASS UP AND SAY, “WE ARE HERE!” SHE WILL BE DAZED AND CONFUSED BUT TELL HER YOU TOOK HER PASS A NICE RESTAURANT. TELL HER YOU TRIED TO GET HER TO SAY WHERE SHE LIVED, BUT SHE WAS PASSED OUT. LET HER KNOW YOU HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO TAKE HER. SHE WON’T CARE AT THIS POINT SHE JUST WANTS TO LIE DOWN. ENTICE HER OUT OF THE CAR AND INTO THE ROOM WITH, “I BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING TO PUT ON YOUR STOMACH. COME ON!” HELP HER TO THE ROOM AND THE REST OF THE NIGHT IS YOURS. YOU HAVE JUST CAUGHT AND BAGGED A “GREAT NORTH AMERICAN HOOD RAT.” PEACE!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Thoroughbred on -
How do the Great N. American Rats differ from the American Bald Eagles?
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Permalink Reply by OUT OF CONTROL on -
You should change the title to how to get arrested! LMFAO
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Permalink Reply by Le Coquette on -
Yea, you were good til you took a drunk (passed out!)woman to a hotel. Talk about "catching a case". LOL
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Permalink Reply by Carmelcuttie27 on -
Sugar you are something else!!! LOL! How often have you done this? Cause you seem to have it down to a science. lol
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Permalink Reply by OUT OF CONTROL on
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From the looks of the pic looks like its how to catch a teenager! Don't do it Suga! lol
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Permalink Reply by Miss Beauty on -
OMG I was just thinking the same thing. How to get a rape charge! LMAO
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Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on -
it looks like a swarm of hoodrats in that photo. and where are the dudes??? i see a quarter of a light-skinned dude over in the corner.
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Permalink Reply by Miss Beauty on
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I hear sirens!!!! LOL
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Permalink Reply by Sugar Dick on -
WE NEVER FORCED HER TO DO ANYTHING. THE SECRET IS THAT SHE IS A HOOD RAT. SHE IS USED TO GETTING PLAYED. DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE AWAY OF LIFE FOR HER. ITS NOT RAPE!!! YOU HAVEN'T FORCED HER TO DO ANYTHING.. SHE WILL WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND GIVE YOU HER NUMBER WHEN YOU DROP HER OFF. WE USUALLY NEVER CALL THO.
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