HOW TO CATCH A HOOD RAT!!!
- Rating:
0 after 1 vote
I GO OUT CONSTANTLY BY MYSELF!!! I CALL IT HUNTING. MY FRIENDS ARE WEEKEND WARRIORS, BUT I. PARTY THROUGH OUT THE WEEK. YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER MALE WITH YOU, BECAUSE THEY ARE DISTRACTING TO THE FEMALES. PLUS, THAT "DO SHE HAVE A FRIEND" SHIT IS OLD.
WHEN ENTERING A NEW SPOT ALWAYS GET THE DOOR MANS NAME. YOU WILL NEED HIS NAME LATER BUT FOR NOW LETS CALL HIM BILL. WALK THROUGH THE CLUB WITH YO SWAG ON. SMILE AT EVERY GIRL YOU PASS WITH A SLIGHT HEAD NOD. NEXT, WALK OVER TO THE DJ BOOTH AND GIVE HIM THAT, "YOU POINT". HE WILL JESTER BACK THINKING YOU APPRECIATE HIS MUSIC. YOU DO THIS SO DUDES WITH BAD INTENTION WILL THINK YOU ARE THE DJ'S FRIEND AND WILL MOST LIKELY NOT MESS WITH YOU. THE GIRLS WILL THINK YOU MUST BE A REGULAR SO YOU NOW HAVE COOL POINTS. NEXT, MAKE YOUR WAY OVER TO THE BAR. TELL THE BAR TENDER THAT YOUR FRIEND BILL AT THE DOOR SAID TO COME SEE HIM OR HER AND THAT HE OR SHE MAKES THE STRONGEST DRINKS. THIS WILL GET YOU AN EXTRA POUR EVERY TIME. SHAKE HIS OR HER HAND AND TIP HIM OR HER WELL.
NEXT, PUT YOUR BACK AGAINST THE BAR FOR A BETTER VIEW TO SURVEY YOUR NEW FOUND TERRITORY. REMEMBER YOU ARE HUNTING FOR KEEPS SO YOU LOOK FOR WEAK PREY. YOU THEN SCAN THE CROWD FOR A VERY ELUSIVE CREATURE. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? YOU ARE IN SEARCH OF "THE GREAT NORTH AMERICAN HOOD RAT". THIS CRAFTY BEAST WILL TRY TO DISGUISE HERSELF AS A CLASS ACT. IF YOUR GAME IS NICE, YOU CAN SPOT HER BY HER BAD WEAVE AND FUCKED UP EDGES. THEY SOMETIMES HAVE ON SCUFFED UP HEELS AND BAD POSTURE.
ONCE YOU HAVE SPOTTED YOUR PREY DON’T RUSH HER. WATCH HER FROM A DISTANCE AND APPROACH ONLY AFTER SHE HAS HAD ONE OR TWO DRINKS. NEXT CREEP OVER TO HER AND LET HER KNOW YOU LIKE HER OUTFIT. EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A HOT ASS MESS THIS WILL HELP TO EASE HER APPREHENSION. NEXT SEPARATE HER FROM HER HATING ASS FRIENDS BY OFFERING HER A DRINK AND WALK HER TO THE BAR. ONCE AT THE BAR, LEAN OVER (OUT OF EAR RANGE OF HER) AND ASK THE BAR TENDER TO MAKE HERS A TRIPLE. REMEMBER YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU SO YOU GET A SINGLE.
WHILE SHE ENJOYS HER DRINK LET HER RUN HER MOUTH. PRETEND LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT SHE IS SAYING. MAKE HER FEEL SMART. SMILE AND SEEM VERY INTERESTED. GET HER ANOTHER TRIPLE BUT MOVE FAST. YOU DON’T WANT HER GETTING SICK ON YOU IN THE CLUB. WHAT EVER YOU DO, DON’T LET HER DANCE. SHE MIGHT SWEAT OUT THAT GOOD ALCOHOL. FIND OUT WHAT NEIGHBORHOOD SHE IS FROM. TELL HER YOU WANT TO TAKE HER OUT TO EAT AFTER THE CLUB. HOOD RATS CANNOT RESIST A FREE MEAL. SINCE YOU ALREADY WATCHED HER HAVE, WAY TO MANY DRINKS FOR HER BODY SIZE, SHE SHOULD NOW BE RIGHT FOR THE PICKING. SHE WILL TELL HER FRIEND THAT SHE IS LEAVING WITH YOU. SHE WILL EVEN LIE TO THEM AND SAY SHE KNEW YOU BEFORE THAT NIGHT.
WHILE YOU ARE WALKING HER TO THE CAR, THE DRINKS SHOULD HAVE HER STUMBLING AND GIGGLING. PLAY IT OFF! LAUGH WITH HER AND BE CHEERFUL. WHEN MOST HOOD RATS GET IN A CAR MOTION SICKNESS WILL KICK IN. SHE’LL PASS OUT IN A MATTER OF BLOCKS! MOVE QUICK! SWING PASS MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU AND PICK UP A CHEESEBURGER. NEXT, HEAD RIGHT TO THE CHEAPEST MOTEL YOU CAN FIND. LEAVE HER IN THE CAR PASSED OUT, RUN GET THE ROOM AND COME BACK. NEXT, WAKE HER DRUNKEN ASS UP AND SAY, “WE ARE HERE!” SHE WILL BE DAZED AND CONFUSED BUT TELL HER YOU TOOK HER PASS A NICE RESTAURANT. TELL HER YOU TRIED TO GET HER TO SAY WHERE SHE LIVED, BUT SHE WAS PASSED OUT. LET HER KNOW YOU HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO TAKE HER. SHE WON’T CARE AT THIS POINT SHE JUST WANTS TO LIE DOWN. ENTICE HER OUT OF THE CAR AND INTO THE ROOM WITH, “I BOUGHT YOU SOMETHING TO PUT ON YOUR STOMACH. COME ON!” HELP HER TO THE ROOM AND THE REST OF THE NIGHT IS YOURS. YOU HAVE JUST CAUGHT AND BAGGED A “GREAT NORTH AMERICAN HOOD RAT.” PEACE!
- Attachments:
-
-
102_5276.JPG, 1 MB
-
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by maxwells_musze on -
man i always loved this thread! hahahaha!!!
and the photo too.
-
Permalink Reply by Tab on -
I didn't get to read all of this, but some chicks on BA really need to check themselves. And here I was about to go toe to toe with my friend because he posted a link saying that a certain type of black woman is the cause of Black America's death. Now I see what he meant. SMDH.... But I have to say, this is a funny ass thread. lol!
-
Permalink Reply by BlackSnakeMoan on -
wow... thats foul. this should be called how to commit date rape
-
Permalink Reply by L0vie D0vie on -
I'm still ROTF at this one!
bwt, Why get offended if it does not apply to you?
-
Permalink Reply by Tab on
-
Exactly...lol. I was gonna comment, How to catch a hoodrat? Create a thread on HOW TO CATCH A HOODRAT!!! The way some are bent out of shape says alot.
L0vie D0vie said:I'm still ROTF at this one!
bwt, Why get offended if it does not apply to you?
-
Permalink Reply by Ashley Banks on -
I couldn't get past the first few pages of comments. Sugar Dick, don't you know that intoxicating a woman, with alcohol, to have intercourse with you is rape? Didn't you have that assembly/information session at freshman orientation?
-
Permalink Reply by L0vie D0vie on
-
@Tab, I'm sorry, I couldn't hold back... It baffles me how some of these chicks got bent all out of shape over this post! l0l!
-
Permalink Reply by Irreplaceable_me on -
LMFAO !!!! this is HILARIOUS !!!
-
Permalink Reply by DUVALBeauty on -
LMAO this thread is stupid funny. I dont see how people consider this hunting guide as "rape" the hoodrat shouldnt have been so damn greedy drinkin up everything he was passing along to here. Leaving the club with Joe Blow hunter is NOT gonna happen, booboo quit being greedy and keep it moving.
-
Permalink Reply by Cougar $pice on -
LMAO, classic SD. View his hitler hate baller alert vid. Hilarious hahaha
-
Permalink Reply by Moving In Silence on -
This is hilariously sad.
Sign in
Latest Activity
As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside
service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to
be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the
first to be laid to rest ...
I LOVE Nicki Minaj....but I'm sad to say this is a damn Minaj epidemic going on & it's really bad & sad & people need to STOP NOW!!! There's one Nicki Minaj.....so stop trying to immulate her style just be yourself & market your own style & let pe...
Man I had to give Trey Songz a break.....so my songs right now are....
50 Cent ft. Ne-yo - Baby By Me
R. Kelly ft. Tyrese, Robin Thicke & The Dream - Pregnant (Remix)
Usher - Daddy's Home
Jojo - I Hate Love
Nicki Minaj - Saxon
Robin Thicke ft. Ni...
I feel bad for her....she was so pretty when see first came out & now she's just trying way to hard!! STOP IT KIM!!
They did last longer than I thought they would, I'm glad they smart enough to move on while they fan base is still hot & what not. I hope they become more successful...so congrats! =)
Lol....I'm on that short list to....SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! If I could get about $10,000 for Christmas I would be ecstatic!! =) But realistically I just want a digital camera.
I am SUPER EXCITED that Sade is coming out with a album....I love her voice & I'm sure her album will sooth my soul lol =) Can't wait^_^
I agree with Boss! It reminds me of that Mary J. Blige song "No Happy Holiday"....anywho he's covering up something so just leave him alone! You can do bad all by yourself honey! Good luck to ya=)
That's a nice thing to do! I wish these people out here would stop killing these babies, DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!
Lets just say I do like the dress....but I don't know if I like it on her! But she's still beautiful=)
I'm late......but HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! I hope yall lovelies had a Beautiful & Happy Thanksgiving=)
3hugs, 2kisses & 1love.....Smooches & Blessings^_^
I'll wait for more details.
LMAO
Good for him, nice gesture.
Ummmmm, **from what I can decipher**** tell him you're uncomfortable & she should leave you alone or call the cops. This chick sounds insane & you should be worried because at some point you son will be alone with her & his father.
And stop this ...
Ummmm... this topic is from 2008!
And that's him with those old man jeans on! I got pics with him from this year with old man jeans on.
He's with that former cuban model & they have a town house together!
© 2009 Created by Boss/MadamBA
