Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by PlaneJaneLane on May 1, 2012 at 11:10pm

She's probably 19-21. If she went to college directly after high school.

l8dy-c said:

Not you, Redpopsicle?

Love is a Losing Game said:

30. Now yours?

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Permalink Reply by l8dy-c on May 1, 2012 at 11:11pm

This isn't about me. 

Love is a Losing Game said:

Lol l8dy. I asked you your age too *blonde moment*

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Permalink Reply by Dragon Slayer Puss on May 1, 2012 at 11:41pm

Lmao L8dy you are right. Would you mind to elaborate on what she should be giving her self credit for? I'm just wondering. And also let me say, I joined BA because the women here are not typical thirsty, do anything, fall for anything type chicks. Way too cool for that. Anyway, in your response I picked up on a bit of 'take anything they give me' and its not a good look. I was really wondering basic things about you cuz some of your responses make me think you need to spend some time in the BA Archives.

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Permalink Reply by l8dy-c on May 2, 2012 at 12:11am

I disagree with you.Why would you want my responses to be typical and predictable. It's obvious that she needs to give more credit because some women have low opinion of themselves.She seems concerned about others peoples opinions.I just want her to acknowledge that she may be harming herself, because she's acting like her family and friends life is more important than hers.I hope she can stop that just so she learn to value herself. It's like doesn't value her own experience in love. She needs to build a little more self esteem. My question is, this is your dream and now you have doubts? She is still in that "I can't believe phase" like she doesn't deserve it, but she does.So, she can try building the foundation now, or she will asking the same question later.

Love is a Losing Game said:

Lmao L8dy you are right. Would you mind to elaborate on what she should be giving her self credit for? I'm just wondering. And also let me say, I joined BA because the women here are not typical thirsty, do anything, fall for anything type chicks. Way too cool for that. Anyway, in your response I picked up on a bit of 'take anything they give me' and its not a good look. I was really wondering basic things about you cuz some of your responses make me think you need to spend some time in the BA Archives.

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Permalink Reply by Bonita on May 2, 2012 at 12:50am

*sips tea and waits for age*

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Permalink Reply by l8dy-c on May 2, 2012 at 12:57am

Age is just a number. Btw.. I'm not answering that question. This isn't about me. 

Bonita said:

*sips tea and waits for age*

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Permalink Reply by RedPopsicle on May 2, 2012 at 1:18am

I do not want to get pregnant for the next couple of years, we are not in  a rush to do it I just know I want to do it.  I knew it before him.  There are a couple of career moves I want to make.

MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! said:

Has HE said anything about getting married and having a baby?  Take things slow...you say you met him a the beginning of the yr.  Some relstionships can happen fast, but ummmm....YOU need to slow it down.  WIll you be able to continue going to school while pregnant and after you have the baby?

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Permalink Reply by RedPopsicle on May 2, 2012 at 1:23am

I will be 30 very soon...and I worked in corporate america, then was engaged we broke up, went to follow my dream enrolled into the university of my choice which I am in my second year and I am starting my own business this yr.  I have won numerous awards for presenting at a national convention, a panel guest on a couple of panels one at my school and another in another state.  I have performed for several years in NY.  I can go on and on on the things I have accomplished over my short 30 yrs in this earth. 

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Permalink Reply by l8dy-c on May 2, 2012 at 1:30am

Why did you and him break up?

RedPopsicle said:

I will be 30 very soon...and I worked in corporate america, then was engaged we broke up, went to follow my dream enrolled into the university of my choice which I am in my second year and I am starting my own business this yr.  I have won numerous awards for presenting at a national convention, a panel guest on a couple of panels one at my school and another in another state.  I have performed for several years in NY.  I can go on and on on the things I have accomplished over my short 30 yrs in this earth. 

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Permalink Reply by RedPopsicle on May 2, 2012 at 1:32am

I think you are off based I have said nothing about my family and friends and what they think.  Ignoring my needs I have been here to long to be stupid to do that.  That was not what I did in my late teen and early 20 not switching up now.  But I also was not looking to settle down until I was 25.  There is not ? on marriage iI It is not dread and it is not fear of him or this relationship.  I am scared because I have never given anyone this much of me even my ex fiance he was the one I dreaded and it ended and know I am in a place where I am happy and excited and ready. 

l8dy-c said:

Well if you were happy you wouldn't give 2 s**** about what friends and family think.Now you are ignoring your own needs and feelings.You need to start loving yourself first.Well give your self at least 1 year to figure out the marriage question. Then another year for baby.I know from the past it can be very liberating to make decisions. But give yourself time.Once you make that choice, you can trust that consequences will unfold as they should. Maybe with a little change of attitude and time you will have more excitement and hope instead of fear and dread. Give yourself more credit. 

RedPopsicle said:

Can you tell me how, because I am grateful I know what it is to be with loser's over and over.  I am scared because I am doing something different than what I was raised to see.  I know they do not make you happy; being married and have a baby, but I am really very happy I am still in the I can't believe its me not that I don't believe it could not be me, but I am living out my dream and this is all new.  That is why I am asking for advise, because my friends can not see where I am at because all of their parents are married, but my parent where not.  

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Permalink Reply by RedPopsicle on May 2, 2012 at 1:42am

I valued me too much, I would have been in a ghetto fab lifestyle which is not me I love just being fab (period).  I valued me way more than him that is why I never gave too much of me because I knew he was not what I wanted even though he was cool.  

l8dy-c said:

Why did you and him break up?

RedPopsicle said:

I will be 30 very soon...and I worked in corporate america, then was engaged we broke up, went to follow my dream enrolled into the university of my choice which I am in my second year and I am starting my own business this yr.  I have won numerous awards for presenting at a national convention, a panel guest on a couple of panels one at my school and another in another state.  I have performed for several years in NY.  I can go on and on on the things I have accomplished over my short 30 yrs in this earth. 

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Permalink Reply by RedPopsicle on May 2, 2012 at 1:49am

I give myself for making it out of H.S. not pregnant, that I am a great great great aunt and I am almost 30 not pregnant one time.  That I was taught to be independent and I actually am.  I followed my dreams with hesitation as soon as I could.  Yes I have to wait until I could pay for college on my own as well as ready to walk away from  everything I ahd and started over literally.  being an excellent spoken word artist and being able to hold my own among the men.  Going to college and getting my degree with a minor.  Moved to a whole nother city and state.  Being able to maintain and gain in life. Having dreams and goals and getting them to come true. these are jsut a few things I give myself credit for.  When it comes to accomplishment I am no slouch, when it comes to my heart I have really been garded, but I am learning to be patient and actually focus on me even more than I do because he encourages me to go after even more wilder dreams that I had no avenue to get there.

Love is a Losing Game said:

Lmao L8dy you are right. Would you mind to elaborate on what she should be giving her self credit for? I'm just wondering. And also let me say, I joined BA because the women here are not typical thirsty, do anything, fall for anything type chicks. Way too cool for that. Anyway, in your response I picked up on a bit of 'take anything they give me' and its not a good look. I was really wondering basic things about you cuz some of your responses make me think you need to spend some time in the BA Archives.

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