"But why didn't she call the police? smh"
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I am so confused......
Ok. I've been a lurker. Friends in my head ala Wendy Williams. My
situation is a mess. I apologize for the length of this, but I am going
to provide a lot of background for completeness (lol). Please go easy on
me lol.
So prob around 2001 my "good/best" friend at the time was dating this dude,
she met at a club in the bay area. At that time he had just graduated from
Cal (Berkley) and working at a regional investment bank in SF. My homegirl
and I were in community college, didn't really understand anything we were
bout 21/22 and he was 24/25. Needless to say they ended up dating for
about 5+yrs. Thru out the entire time they were dating, she kept on saying
how good a dude he was and how much he loved, respected and encouraged her.
While he made decent money maybe about $90k with bonuses back then, so he
definitely treated her to nice things etc. Before she met him meanwhile
she didn't have a passport. However, all thru the relationship she'd be
out in the club meeting dudes & slaying (she was ho basically) who were not
doing nothing with their lives outside of just hanging on the block. This
is part of the reason she and I fell out (at first, I thought she was going
thru a phase, but it was guy after guy, after guy), because I tried to tell
her that if u say u have a good dude why mess it up with these oakland
dudes that aint bout a dang thing, I even said here I am tryna meet a half
way decent dude & u r treating one like s***. Long story short she and I
stopped being friends cos she said I was judgmental & jealous this was
around 2004. In 2005, I hear thru the grapevine she is preggers, and I
figured it was by this her dude, come to find out it was by someone else &
all the while she had been ducking her "first" man. He finds out and they
break up she becomes some dudes 4th baby mama. And this dude she has the
baby for don't even give a rats ass about her & her kid. She basically
fell for the 'ole okie doke "hood rich" with the nice car & 3 baby mamas
and the car of course to pick up birds like my ex-friend. Same hood-rat
story as everyone else.
Fast forward to summer 2011 - I run into my ex-friend's ex-dude who she
played at the airport in SF, turned out we were going to the same city for
work SF-Denver-Cleveland. We end up exchanging numbers and he bumps me up
to 1st class using his miles, so we could "catch-up" on the flights to
cleveland. Come to find out now he works for a company (private equity)
and he is "major" there. Apparently, when he was in college at Cal, most
of his family was on the East Coast, and his dad was a VERY big deal at a
Global Bank (he was very humble). I did some research about his dad
recently, and when he retired from the (his dad I'm talking about now) Bank
he left with a "NINE-FIGURE" over $100MM package and this is right on the
internet. His dad went to harvard law school and clerked for a US Supreme
Court Justice. I am learning about mainstream America. Sorry, but I am
just "CiCi" from Oakland. All this is new to me, & I am impressed. I have
also done the "PJ" (private jet - Vista Jet) with him & his family to
Hawaii for the week of xmas & new year. They have a beautiful home there.
Now dude is mixed (his mum is white), and even though I don't date
lite-skin bruthas (or bruthas who date non-black women), I see myself
liking him as we have been hanging out as "friends" (no sex) since last
summer. Would it be wrong of me to pursue him?? In my world he is a
"baller" based on his own income alone he is official (7-figure range - he
is a partner at private equity place he works), but he downplays it (he is
very humble), he says all the time he isn't rich.
He took me to an Obama fund raiser at a private home in the Palo Alto area
late last year and it was $7,500/head, the CEO of his firm introduced him
as being the son of such and such to Obama, and Mr. President looked at his
dad and said "you taught him well". He, I and his folks sat at the same
table. The only weird thing was his mum (who is white) said, I'd like for
my sons to marry black women...she has 4 sons. 2 unmarried & 2 daughters
married to white men, both married boys, married sistas (they are stank,
they believe they are white, they are also mixed, esp when his mum calls
them black women. but that's for a different day).
I am soooooo confused, I don't even know if he likes me, or if I like him
only cos of all the perks BUT I already kicked the dude who I used to mess
with to the curb (I knew I wasn't gonna marry his cheap ass). I haven't
asked him for any sorta financial anything, but I rec'd a wonderful xmas
gift, so I treated him to a nice home cooked meal after we got back from
Hawaii + an expensive tie, which he really appreciated. Do I even try to
pursue anything, will it be messy, considering I'm not friends with his ex
anymore and its been like 7 yrs since they broke up. He is so sweet, easy
and honest, but its easy to be those things when u are just friends. I
also know he still talks to his ex (my old friend every now & again). He
also confirmed that they (he & his ex) have been intimate at least a few
times a year the past 3 yrs. She is hoping they get back together, he
won't admit it that she now wants him back, but I am hearing things in the
hood. I also hear he is not tryna go there with her but he'll slay her.
I need major help. If its ok, do I just turn the sexy up or try to seduce
him?? How do I go about it?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Skytz0100 on -
Girl you better turn that sexy up and throw your line out before someone else snatches him up! And when you use the word "slay" what do you mean? But this sounds like the ONE, get him before i figure out who you are and go looking for him myself, LMAO!
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Permalink Reply by miss cali on -
it's fair game... ya'll not friends anymore... and it's been 7 years. like skytz said, you better get him before someone else does!
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Permalink Reply by Maya Wilkes on
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LOL at Skytz finding him
I say go for it. Are you confused because you feel you owe your ex-friend something? Clearly he likes you if he takes you all those places and around family. Or at least thinks you're a classy chick
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Permalink Reply by Skytz0100 on
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Hey ya'll just trying to keep her on her toes ya know, LOL! But seriously @Maya is right I hope you don't feel confused because of an ex-friend. She would still be your friend if she was a real friend but since she didn't want to listen to good advice then she can suffer like she been suffering, without him! Also, He is taking you around family and I don't know how much clearer this man can make it for you! Get on your Job, NOW!
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Permalink Reply by mese on -
That's what im saying!!! girl better jump on that!!! lol
Skytz0100 said:Hey ya'll just trying to keep her on her toes ya know, LOL! But seriously @Maya is right I hope you don't feel confused because of an ex-friend. She would still be your friend if she was a real friend but since she didn't want to listen to good advice then she can suffer like she been suffering, without him! Also, He is taking you around family and I don't know how much clearer this man can make it for you! Get on your Job, NOW!
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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on -
He sounds like a catch...and my type...go for him or I'm with Skytz, he's fair game and i'll holla lol
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Permalink Reply by Skytz0100 on
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I mean don't he sound like a good catch @eleven8! Gosh I sure hopes she slips up and give too much information out, LOL!
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Permalink Reply by Collete on -
Yeah but the thing about taking me around family & friends is what gets me confused, on the one hand, I always get introduced as "my friend", but he calls and asks me to come out as his date to events. He always makes me feel comfortable, whenever we are out with his crowd, BUT he always makes a point to introduce me as "ex-girl's friend" when they ask how we know each other. Since he and my ex-friend broke up, he hasn't dated anyone longer than 6 months and he brings them ALL around his people - so that isn't special. His thing is he wants to make sure they are comfortable in his surroundings. His still sexing my ex-friend every now and again bothers me though, because I know she didn't care about him before her circumstances changed. He has also never come onto me sexually. He is about to be 37 no kids never been married....and he jokes that his mother will accept anyone now just so he can be married.
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Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on -
*Googles Harvard Law student turned banker* ---> *searches his last name for a son*
LMAO. I'm already on it! Just kidding. Anyway, WAKE UP! This is real life and YOU only have ONE. If you didn't date every Tom, D*** and Harry dated a girl you didn't like, at least 30% of your county's population would be out.
*HOWEVER, LISTEN TO ME CLOSELY: I find it odd that after all these years he would still be conversing with your homegirl. Usually, once you have a child on a man, he will NEVER go back to you...not even for sex. Something in my women's intuition says, "He's still interested in ex girl turned hood baby momma". He is probably thinking you are the better choice but she is his guilty pleasure.
Read this: http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/2011/08/her-ex-boyfriend-is-not-off-li...
I say pursue it but, heed my warning; it may get ugly.
Skytz0100 said:Girl you better turn that sexy up and throw your line out before someone else snatches him up! And when you use the word "slay" what do you mean? But this sounds like the ONE, get him before i figure out who you are and go looking for him myself, LMAO!
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Permalink Reply by Collete on
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@ babyballer LMFAO at your google search....LOL....Yeah I think deep down he still "loves" her, but his ego would prob NOT allow him to bring her back in. Some of my other friends believe he may think I am as scandalous as my ex-friend or that we were both doing that ho s*** back in the day. He has told me he likes the fact that I am down to earth and cool with no drama. I went to something called a "French Tuesday" party with him here in SF and all the friends I saw there that he knew (black & white) were with model looking eastern european chicks mostly and some mixed chicks...I didnt even know what the hell french tuesday was, but basically is a group of professional dudes/gals mostly white and european who get together to party every other tuesday night....I stood out because again I am a black girl, and he made me feel comfortable...so I asked him if the model chicks are his type, laughingly he said all women are his type. I feel like a fish out of water with this dude...he is very very humble and i so love that, not like dudes with a lil change tryna show u up. I mean he has 2 nice whips and a sick condo in one of the nicest bldgs in SF, but he says the penthouse unit is the goal and not a high floor...
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Permalink Reply by Collete on
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@ Maya, yeah kinda...its an unwritten rul you don't mess with someone ur "friend" messed with...so now that are not friends, is it any different? I am not so sure it is.
@ Skytz lol..."slay" is the same thing as f***, but just how we say it where we grew up...basically just jumping every d*** in the hood.....I believe NY people say it too...
@ Just Me...I have tried...for example when I bought him the tie for xmas it cost me $200 he said that it was nice, and he wore it to the office the first work day of the new year, but told me not to go out an buy anymore ferragamo ties because everyone knows that not what ferragamo is known for, but he appreciates me trying.....I have also taken him out to dinner and he said to me he doesn't expect me to take him to the same exact type of places he takes me because in his words "I am not oblivious to the differences in our economics" ..... that actually hurt, but he said to me even if what I had in mind/could afford comfortably was a burger place (as long as I was paying that was compliment enought) he will be grateful & thats the way he approaches things with people close to him...and a lot of women don't understand that about men. maybe the fact that he is super humble with money is what attracts me even more....I have also been out with them where they called out one of their male friends for haven't not brought out his wallet in the past 4 months. needless to say that guy picked up the tab that night and it was almost $6K but there were 8 people at dinner plus the hotel bar/lounge we went afterwards...so I know its important that i pull some of my own weight....I am a wreck.....I keep analyzing and i over analyze...when he is away for work overseas and i call, he always asks me to hang up that he'll call me back and he always does, and his reason is he'd pick up that cost so I dont have to.
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