i need to stop listening to other people.

*sigh* im over here having a problem. So you guys know the guy ive been dating its been two months everything has been great. we finally made thar step and it was GREAT. i was nervous because i thought things were gonna change since then but they havent they have actually gotten better. heres my problem i talk too damn much. i tell my friends alot of what goes on in my relationships and i feel like thats gonna be my downfall. smh. I guess its too get there opinon and honestly most of them give pretty good vague advice. nothing too deep. my cousin told me "don't let your friends dictate your relationship" and shes right. Now my best friend gives me some of the best advice shes been in like a million and one relationships, shes been with her current boyfriend for.almost four years. and she knows me! And her advice reminds me a lot of what you guys say. its never male bashing, no stay away from, its always great advice. now my other friend *sigh* idk why i continue to tell her things because ONE shes only been iin one serious relationship, two she thinks she knows the male species so damn well. So the guy im dating were not exclusive as in were not in a relationship and hell im not ready for one of those just yet, but we have talked about it and hes like whenever I'm ready he's ready to take that step. Now might i add that ever since we had sex we have had ALOT of it. llol. i see him two to three times a week and we have sex every time. now Tuesday he took me to dinner and all that good stuff and he was like "you know we dont have to have sex everytime we see each other? and i dont want you to feel like your a jumpoff so lets not do it for awhile. yall i was like WHAT?! how you gonna take the d*** away from me?! lol hes like "its just i dont want our realtionship to be based off sex. And i get that and im happy hes thinking like that. now my best friend thinks its a good idea. now my friend is like "uh why is he thinking like that?! hes always trying to control everything and i think hes playing a game blah blah blah" and at that point im like iI gotta stop telling her s***. now its not like im making the same mistakes over and over agian with my ex. i feel like ive GROWN alot. 

Im going into this with an open mind but im still cautious. It's just she so damn negative. shes the only friend i have that always has the MOST and negative thing to say. now she thinks its her being real and not sugar coding. You guys are real and dont sugar code. And honestly the s*** be lowkey getting to me. smh. So from this point on im not telling her anything. so what do you ladies think? am i doing the right thing? Do you think hes playing a game? I need you guys to help me put things back n perspective. Might i add hes 27 also. 

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ATown SouthernGal on March 22, 2012 at 4:27pm

Maybe he doesn't want to tired of your sex to quick.  Having sex so often especially in the beginning can make things boring. 

Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on March 22, 2012 at 4:31pm

You do so with caution. I have a friend who tells me 'all the nitty gritty' details of other people's business. Now why would I tell her mine? 

Ms. BoiBye said:

 I have a friend like this and I tell ya'll more stuff than I tell her, LOL. She is so negative and her ass always complaining. The only reason why I still talk to her is because I have known her all my life. But you will feel so much better not having her ass always telling you some dumb negative shit. My friend has noticed and says stuff to other ppl like I am fake cuz I keep all my business to myself if we are friends we should have full disclosure with each other. I told her ass cuz she denied saying it when I asked her face to face that our friendship has been downgraded to association, LOL. Negativity blocks blessings!

But anywho you know he is good for you. We all have to learn to let them lead. So since he is a keeper and seems to have a good head on his shoulders he isn't going to lead you astray. So just chill relax and let him call the shots. It may be fun. Just think of all the kinky stuff ya'll can do beside intercourse, LOL!!!!!! Which will build the anticipation once ya'll do get it in.

Permalink Reply by mese on March 22, 2012 at 4:41pm
I didnt think about that at all. thats a good point. 

ATown SouthernGal said:

Maybe he doesn't want to tired of your sex to quick.  Having sex so often especially in the beginning can make things boring. 

Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on March 22, 2012 at 5:25pm

GIrl, we need to talk cuz I got some tricks that will having him begging your ass to tie him up. This maybe another thread in the making, LOL!!!! You can experiment with food, feathers different textures of fabrics. I haven't been gettign it on the regular so I gotta wait til I get home and look in the bag of goodeis. I will give you some more tommorrow, LOL!

mese said:

Lol!! you are so funny! i just like getting consistent sex! But yea levels me out. and im not sure what freaky stuff we can do besides have sex. I need to google some ideas. Lol 
Ms. BoiBye said:

 I have a friend like this and I tell ya'll more stuff than I tell her, LOL. She is so negative and her ass always complaining. The only reason why I still talk to her is because I have known her all my life. But you will feel so much better not having her ass always telling you some dumb negative shit. My friend has noticed and says stuff to other ppl like I am fake cuz I keep all my business to myself if we are friends we should have full disclosure with each other. I told her ass cuz she denied saying it when I asked her face to face that our friendship has been downgraded to association, LOL. Negativity blocks blessings!

But anywho you know he is good for you. We all have to learn to let them lead. So since he is a keeper and seems to have a good head on his shoulders he isn't going to lead you astray. So just chill relax and let him call the shots. It may be fun. Just think of all the kinky stuff ya'll can do beside intercourse, LOL!!!!!! Which will build the anticipation once ya'll do get it in.

Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on March 22, 2012 at 5:59pm

You do the freaky stuff with the wrong mofo and you get a good for nothing hanger on. LOL

@mese, ask him what he would like to do other than sex. That's a way to keep the convo going and takes the pressure off of you.

Ms. BoiBye said:

GIrl, we need to talk cuz I got some tricks that will having him begging your ass to tie him up. This maybe another thread in the making, LOL!!!! You can experiment with food, feathers different textures of fabrics. I haven't been gettign it on the regular so I gotta wait til I get home and look in the bag of goodeis. I will give you some more tommorrow, LOL!

mese said:

Lol!! you are so funny! i just like getting consistent sex! But yea levels me out. and im not sure what freaky stuff we can do besides have sex. I need to google some ideas. Lol 
Ms. BoiBye said:

 I have a friend like this and I tell ya'll more stuff than I tell her, LOL. She is so negative and her ass always complaining. The only reason why I still talk to her is because I have known her all my life. But you will feel so much better not having her ass always telling you some dumb negative shit. My friend has noticed and says stuff to other ppl like I am fake cuz I keep all my business to myself if we are friends we should have full disclosure with each other. I told her ass cuz she denied saying it when I asked her face to face that our friendship has been downgraded to association, LOL. Negativity blocks blessings!

But anywho you know he is good for you. We all have to learn to let them lead. So since he is a keeper and seems to have a good head on his shoulders he isn't going to lead you astray. So just chill relax and let him call the shots. It may be fun. Just think of all the kinky stuff ya'll can do beside intercourse, LOL!!!!!! Which will build the anticipation once ya'll do get it in.

Permalink Reply by mese on March 22, 2012 at 9:56pm
Girl hook a sista up! lol! And maybe ill go look at my cosmo magazine they always have good stuff! lol 

Ms. BoiBye said:

GIrl, we need to talk cuz I got some tricks that will having him begging your ass to tie him up. This maybe another thread in the making, LOL!!!! You can experiment with food, feathers different textures of fabrics. I haven't been gettign it on the regular so I gotta wait til I get home and look in the bag of goodeis. I will give you some more tommorrow, LOL!

mese said:

Lol!! you are so funny! i just like getting consistent sex! But yea levels me out. and im not sure what freaky stuff we can do besides have sex. I need to google some ideas. Lol  Ms. BoiBye said:

 I have a friend like this and I tell ya'll more stuff than I tell her, LOL. She is so negative and her ass always complaining. The only reason why I still talk to her is because I have known her all my life. But you will feel so much better not having her ass always telling you some dumb negative shit. My friend has noticed and says stuff to other ppl like I am fake cuz I keep all my business to myself if we are friends we should have full disclosure with each other. I told her ass cuz she denied saying it when I asked her face to face that our friendship has been downgraded to association, LOL. Negativity blocks blessings!

But anywho you know he is good for you. We all have to learn to let them lead. So since he is a keeper and seems to have a good head on his shoulders he isn't going to lead you astray. So just chill relax and let him call the shots. It may be fun. Just think of all the kinky stuff ya'll can do beside intercourse, LOL!!!!!! Which will build the anticipation once ya'll do get it in.

Permalink Reply by mese on March 22, 2012 at 9:58pm
Yes your right! Cuz im like wth can we possibly do?! lol! 

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

You do the freaky stuff with the wrong mofo and you get a good for nothing hanger on. LOL

@mese, ask him what he would like to do other than sex. That's a way to keep the convo going and takes the pressure off of you.

Ms. BoiBye said:

GIrl, we need to talk cuz I got some tricks that will having him begging your ass to tie him up. This maybe another thread in the making, LOL!!!! You can experiment with food, feathers different textures of fabrics. I haven't been gettign it on the regular so I gotta wait til I get home and look in the bag of goodeis. I will give you some more tommorrow, LOL!

mese said:

Lol!! you are so funny! i just like getting consistent sex! But yea levels me out. and im not sure what freaky stuff we can do besides have sex. I need to google some ideas. Lol 
Ms. BoiBye said:

 I have a friend like this and I tell ya'll more stuff than I tell her, LOL. She is so negative and her ass always complaining. The only reason why I still talk to her is because I have known her all my life. But you will feel so much better not having her ass always telling you some dumb negative shit. My friend has noticed and says stuff to other ppl like I am fake cuz I keep all my business to myself if we are friends we should have full disclosure with each other. I told her ass cuz she denied saying it when I asked her face to face that our friendship has been downgraded to association, LOL. Negativity blocks blessings!

But anywho you know he is good for you. We all have to learn to let them lead. So since he is a keeper and seems to have a good head on his shoulders he isn't going to lead you astray. So just chill relax and let him call the shots. It may be fun. Just think of all the kinky stuff ya'll can do beside intercourse, LOL!!!!!! Which will build the anticipation once ya'll do get it in.

Permalink Reply by Bonita on March 22, 2012 at 10:22pm

Get out of my head. Thats the difference btw a man and a boy. A man knows that you won't get to know each other if everytime you see each other you are having sex. He wants to know how things will be when the smoke clears out and honeymoon stage is over.

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

"you know we dont have to have sex everytime we see each other? and i dont want you to feel like your a jumpoff so lets not do it for awhile.>>>>**sweet music to my ears**, you finally found a man who who is a MAN, girl you better recognize is for what it is and follow his lead. BTW, keep your $hit to yourself regarding your relationships (except on BA for advice) and learn to trust your gut.

SN: if your friend is 'always negative' time to cut her loose. You always have to clean house of toxic people or they will zap your positive energy and slow or halt your progress. From what we've seen you've grown on here, but offline we can't help you.    If you decide to keep her as a friend, you control the conversations or change the topic to something more positive. If she doesn't follow your lead/hint to be more positive, that's you cue that having her around is not good.

Permalink Reply by mese on March 22, 2012 at 10:26pm
Yes your right!!! awww I just love you guys!! this all makes sense! 

Bonita said:

Get out of my head. Thats the difference btw a man and a boy. A man knows that you won't get to know each other if everytime you see each other you are having sex. He wants to know how things will be when the smoke clears out and honeymoon stage is over.

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

"you know we dont have to have sex everytime we see each other? and i dont want you to feel like your a jumpoff so lets not do it for awhile.>>>>**sweet music to my ears**, you finally found a man who who is a MAN, girl you better recognize is for what it is and follow his lead. BTW, keep your $hit to yourself regarding your relationships (except on BA for advice) and learn to trust your gut.

SN: if your friend is 'always negative' time to cut her loose. You always have to clean house of toxic people or they will zap your positive energy and slow or halt your progress. From what we've seen you've grown on here, but offline we can't help you.    If you decide to keep her as a friend, you control the conversations or change the topic to something more positive. If she doesn't follow your lead/hint to be more positive, that's you cue that having her around is not good.

Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on March 23, 2012 at 12:35pm

LLS. I know right. I use to trick them. You know the art to seduction (let them think they the man the first few times) then once we together I bust out all the tricks. They are like wow I let the glasses fool me! Now i have to focus on getting me in order before i seduce a damn thing, LOL!

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

You do the freaky stuff with the wrong mofo and you get a good for nothing hanger on. LOL

@mese, ask him what he would like to do other than sex. That's a way to keep the convo going and takes the pressure off of you.
Ms. BoiBye said:

GIrl, we need to talk cuz I got some tricks that will having him begging your ass to tie him up. This maybe another thread in the making, LOL!!!! You can experiment with food, feathers different textures of fabrics. I haven't been gettign it on the regular so I gotta wait til I get home and look in the bag of goodeis. I will give you some more tommorrow, LOL!
mese said:

Lol!! you are so funny! i just like getting consistent sex! But yea levels me out. and im not sure what freaky stuff we can do besides have sex. I need to google some ideas. Lol  Ms. BoiBye said:

 I have a friend like this and I tell ya'll more stuff than I tell her, LOL. She is so negative and her ass always complaining. The only reason why I still talk to her is because I have known her all my life. But you will feel so much better not having her ass always telling you some dumb negative shit. My friend has noticed and says stuff to other ppl like I am fake cuz I keep all my business to myself if we are friends we should have full disclosure with each other. I told her ass cuz she denied saying it when I asked her face to face that our friendship has been downgraded to association, LOL. Negativity blocks blessings!

But anywho you know he is good for you. We all have to learn to let them lead. So since he is a keeper and seems to have a good head on his shoulders he isn't going to lead you astray. So just chill relax and let him call the shots. It may be fun. Just think of all the kinky stuff ya'll can do beside intercourse, LOL!!!!!! Which will build the anticipation once ya'll do get it in.

Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on March 26, 2012 at 10:11am

Sounds like he is trying to build a strong foundation for the both of you. Hang in there because he sounds great! As for your friend, just pray for her. Some women are so bitter they think all men, including your man, is lying. Keep her far away. 

Permalink Reply by Zaria 22 on March 27, 2012 at 12:37am

I agree with BabyBaller^^...I think he is trying to build a strong foundation. And if he's a baller or even just a really sexy looking man, he's probably so used to getting p*ssy thrown at him, he want to try the real thing. He's 27? Yeah he's getting close to the settle down age. I think what he is trying to say is he wants to get to know the real you. He wants to like you for something other than your sex. I'm sure he WANTS to have sex with you every time, but he doesn't want to view you as a jumpoff. Just like he said. 

As far as your girlfriend..honey you need to learn to recognize a hater when you see one. I know it's hard to think of your friends like that, especially when you've known them for some years, but chile jealousy comes in many forms. Keep the things that are important to you for yourself. Be selective about what you reveal, unless you are positive you can trust the person.

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