ok.. so i guess im going to use this avenue as a way to vent/get my mind right, and hopefully get some useful insight at the same time.

i met this baller about 5 months ago, he is a big time producer in the industry and very well known. although i dont talk to him on a regular basis, he “checks in” every now and then in a friendly “hey whats up” kind of way. earlier this week he invited me over to his house for dinner, and to just catch up since I haven’t spoken to him in about 3 weeks. Dinner was great and things went well; I got to know him on a deeper level-- he discussed his background, passions, and even finances. I think this is great because I’ve been working on establishing my presence in his life, as a friend first.

Now here’s where things get a little mind boggling for me—during our talk he mentioned how he really wanted to have kids and showed me his stock portfolio to prove he is financially ready. i didn’t think anything of it because our relationship has been pretty platonic, and we were drinking alcohol. 5 mixed drinks later I ended up sleeping with him (I know.. so wrong!). Well afterwards he started pillow talking and brought up the kids discussion again! I mean is this a hint?

He is an overall nice guy and things have been well between me and him so far, but how should I go about maintaining our friendship from this point forward? Should I stick with my plan of “friend first” or abort the mission? Obviously I wouldn’t mind having a kid as long as there is some kind of contract/agreement etc in place… because I refuse to end up being a broke baby mama. But I just feel like I broke all of my rules by sleeping with him and not having anything established… and really I don’t even see him often enough to call it dating! Should I just chop it up as a loss and keep it pushin… or just wait until he decides to check in? should I bring up us sleeping with each other or leave it alone?

I know I probably sound crazy as hell, but any advice you ladies have would be great!