Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on October 15, 2010 at 3:51pm

I just knew you were about to come in here hard as a motha fugga...lol i was ready lmao jk but seriously...It's like damn if ya'll just want sex then say that...why go through the bs??


Jamal Black said:

You may not even be doing anything wrong Ally because the times have changed, and the relationships between men and women are different in the Western parts of the world.
Many men today even if they do find a decent woman, don't want anything long term. They might say they do but it's only used as bait so they can get some sex for a while then leave.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on October 15, 2010 at 4:32pm

Maybe try dating older men. You are 24 so the men in your age range are mentally, emotionally 16-18.

I started thinking the same thing because they say they want a "michelle obama" "claire huxtable" but what do they eventually end up with? Some girl fresh out of high school who's knowledge doesn't expand beyond Vibe magazine. What does the song say "the girls look sooo good but they mind is not ready! Oh no!"

That teacher dude has someone on the side. You know they say a person will start an argument over the smallest thing just so they can use that as an excuse to break things off. When a guy wants to do that, just break it off, don't be all, let's work thru this, why are we arguing?

I swear I'm gonna get that book Why Men Love B******.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on October 15, 2010 at 4:48pm

That's a real book??? Damn I may need to look into that...And yes, I've given that the thought also, that theres another chick...I think the hardest thing is that now I have to once again readjust meaning, I have to get use to sleeping alone, not getting those phone calls..not cuddling...it's a process...but you are so right..They say they want that strong woman but once they have her they'd rather take bimbo bethany over sophistcated sally....Oh and let me tell ya'll he kept contradicting himself...first it was like let's be friends then the next it's "Ally I like you, I just wanted to put my feelings out there so we could understand we can still talk" BLAH



Honeycoated said:

Maybe try dating older men. You are 24 so the men in your age range are mentally, emotionally 16-18.
I started thinking the same thing because they say they want a "michelle obama" "claire huxtable" but what do they eventually end up with? Some girl fresh out of high school who's knowledge doesn't expand beyond Vibe magazine. What does the song say "the girls look sooo good but they mind is not ready! Oh no!"

That teacher dude has someone on the side. You know they say a person will start an argument over the smallest thing just so they can use that as an excuse to break things off. When a guy wants to do that, just break it off, don't be all, let's work thru this, why are we arguing?

I swear I'm gonna get that book Why Men Love B******.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Alise Aniye on October 15, 2010 at 4:59pm

You arent doing anything wrong. I agree with Jamal times have changed. I have found some men feel like they just dont have to do anything in a relationship. So a simple disagreement is grounds for termination in their eyes because why deal with it from you when the next chick wont say anything. If he wasnt willing to work through something that simple you are better off without him. Another thing I see is some men want a helpless woman. You have a lot going on for yourself and an "Average Joe" may not be able to take being out shined by your accomplishments. Some men want an equal and some men want a mindless slave. I agree with Honeycoated, maybe dating a little older then you normally would may make a difference. Usually older established men have the been there done that mentality and are tired of the "game". But I have found that lowering your standards will get you in a fuc'd up situation every time. If you dont date average joe's let this be a warning to not do it again.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on October 15, 2010 at 5:09pm

What was the simple disagreement about?

@JB, you shoulda known that was gonna go down when you exchanged #'s. LMAO

@HC, get that book, it's about getting that respect without the 'perceived attitude' that they seem to label all black women.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on October 15, 2010 at 5:13pm

That's crazy you say that becaus he would always say s*** like "i aint them ballas u deal wit im a teacher hee hee" like ninja i knew what u were before i started fuggn with u



Alise Aniye said:

You arent doing anything wrong. I agree with Jamal times have changed. I have found some men feel like they just dont have to do anything in a relationship. So a simple disagreement is grounds for termination in their eyes because why deal with it from you when the next chick wont say anything. If he wasnt willing to work through something that simple you are better off without him. Another thing I see is some men want a helpless woman. You have a lot going on for yourself and an "Average Joe" may not be able to take being out shined by your accomplishments. Some men want an equal and some men want a mindless slave. I agree with Honeycoated, maybe dating a little older then you normally would may make a difference. Usually older established men have the been there done that mentality and are tired of the "game". But I have found that lowering your standards will get you in a fuc'd up situation every time. If you dont date average joe's let this be a warning to not do it again.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on October 15, 2010 at 5:14pm

So seeing as that is your EX...the book didn;t help huh??



Jamal Black said:

My X and I met the author of that book at a book store when we were togeter... lol, that was her bible..


Honeycoated said:

Maybe try dating older men. You are 24 so the men in your age range are mentally, emotionally 16-18.
I started thinking the same thing because they say they want a "michelle obama" "claire huxtable" but what do they eventually end up with? Some girl fresh out of high school who's knowledge doesn't expand beyond Vibe magazine. What does the song say "the girls look sooo good but they mind is not ready! Oh no!"

That teacher dude has someone on the side. You know they say a person will start an argument over the smallest thing just so they can use that as an excuse to break things off. When a guy wants to do that, just break it off, don't be all, let's work thru this, why are we arguing?

I swear I'm gonna get that book Why Men Love Bitches.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Golden Child on October 15, 2010 at 5:35pm

F*** him Ally, he aint nothing but an AVERAGE JOE anyways. It's not like he was paying the bills and s***, so f*** him! Honestly he lost out, your 24 in med school c'mon now, hunny get it together he's not even on your level! Don't settle for less or beat yourself up about it! Remember this is BALLERALERT, not AVERAGEJOEALERT! LOL

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by AllyNWonderland on October 15, 2010 at 5:50pm

LMAO omg!!!! That just made me feel 10x better....lol



Golden Child said:

F*** him Ally, he aint nothing but an AVERAGE JOE anyways. It's not like he was paying the bills and s***, so f*** him! Honestly he lost out, your 24 in med school c'mon now, hunny get it together he's not even on your level! Don't settle for less or beat yourself up about it! Remember this is BALLERALERT, not AVERAGEJOEALERT! LOL

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Dub_B on October 15, 2010 at 7:13pm

awww my heart goes out to u...u seem to be a good woman from the some of the post i've read...girl f*** him he missing out...go stag u a baller and go to a place that he be at just to make him jealous...he will be back...hehe that was joke..seriously thought and i know you've heard it before, you are mad young the right person will come around...he was just there for a season. maybe you will learn something from this...it just hurts sometimes. ~sigh~

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on October 15, 2010 at 8:02pm

Oh, and jamal, there is a way to let a chick know from the get go that the situation will only be sex. Playa's do it all the time. They have enough game to tell you it will only be sex so get with it or get gone. Unfortunately, some women think they can have sex like a man and they are the ones that get hurt and there are some women that have their "dips" and they use the man for that purpose.

There are some men who don't SAY it and only imply it with their actions but some women don't catch on. I mistakenly thought there would be something with a guy I was seeing on a regular basis. Thought I was special cuz it seemed like he would drop what he was doing when I called, saw each other several times a week, but not an ACTUAL DATE(hint hint), was introduced to friends and everything. One day we were texting and he was like "I don't want to do the date thing" I thought I could be ok with that. He invited me to his cousin's bday party. That's when s*** hit the fan. When this female who he later swore he never did anything with was just too close to him for my comfort and just how the whole nite I knew no one there and he wasn't introducing me to anyone, then later I saw him getting a number from a chick, that's when things got bad. I guess in his mind since things were "cool" now that I would be ok with sitting around like a bump on a log while he partied with his group of friends. I stayed cuz I had already paid to get in and the party was wack (if I was thinking clearly, I could tell it would be, but I thought oh it's early it will pick up. NOT. Now I judge parties by how the line is outside) and my phone died so I couldn't call my girl who was out elsewhere and try to link up with her. So I stayed there looking salty all nite

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by MS. UCAN NEVA GET ENUFF!! on October 15, 2010 at 11:56pm

HMMMM...It may not be but at least you considered the possibility that it COULD be you. I dont know the whole story but maybe you were smothering him, men need to be able to spend time without you w/o you getting upset. I say that because you just recently went through some things and you probaly moved on too fast, not because you wanted to but because you needed someone there. I thought you wanted to take more time for yourself? Please , do that.

Are you cool with any of your exes or other men that know of your past relationships? Ask them what you think could be wrong with you. Say how you feel and say "from our relatioship what broke us up or what are some things that you thought I could be better at"? Every man wont do it, but you may have some that will. I asked my ex this ? that way I could look at what he said from a different view, we sometimes dont want to admit when things are wrong with us. I mean yeah, sometimes its their opinion and some may be b******* but just listen, dont be objective, put the b******* where it goes and keep the rest. My ex said i didnt respect our relatioship mainly because he thought i cheated on a vacay and had pics with ddudes on vacation.. I didnt cheat, but there was no need to argue that with him.

Good Luck..but youre still kind of young so you do have plenty of time to find ur Mr. Right.

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page