Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by KrystyyyMia on April 21, 2012 at 10:19am

Thank you all SO much! These kind words of inspiration and advice will take me a long ways. I'm (we/re!) on the right path and just need to remember it!

Tough times don't last always.

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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on April 21, 2012 at 10:48am

 Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I felt the same way for a long time comparing myself to my friends (all getting married and having success). I went to college and was still at a dead end job, but guess what I was still here. I had my own talents and found out that a lot of my friends were jealous of the life that I lead. I feel like in our twenties we have to find ourselves and our way. Now if you were 40 trying to find your way with no 401k and nothing to show for. I would have to tell you to jump off a bridge, LOL. But you are fine, actually right on track. You do have success in your life, you are smart, sensible (cuz you are thinking about your future) and willing. Most ppl are complaining, but not willing to change the mess they are in. So you are one step in the right direction. Keep up the good work, building a relationship with God and your family is an accomplishment itself. Smile and say your daily affirmations you will find yourself out of this rut sooner than later!

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Permalink Reply by 2.0 on April 21, 2012 at 11:09am

Hey Doll,

 

These women have given great advice thus far, so I won't echo them. But may I advise... *and this may sound weird*, tweak your timeline - regardless of the social media you're on - so you're "Following" people who are successful in the field/degree you've acquired. And "follow" successful people in an industry that may even be a hobby for you or has peaked your interest. Surrounding yourself with people (even in cyber-space) who are where you want to be will provide you with inspiration and motivation to forge forward. 

 

Start hitting up Meet-Up's. Go to their site and enter your interests; what will pop-up are lists upon lists of events. Majority of them are free and you can make some good connects but they're also a good time (i.e. after work parties free b4 a certain hour, happy hours, networking w/ speed dating, etc.). Find events where you can combine networking and your social life without overspending or feeling financially strapped. 

 

Also seek out a mentor. Most successful people regardless of industry are willing to "reach back", especially when they see someone's determination, talent and drive (which are common characteristics among successful people).

 

Lastly, don't settle for just having a "job" ... I realize we some times have to do what have to do to pay bills, but life is not solely about that. Continue to trek for the careeryou want, doing something you love.

 

The journey will be difficult but realize: The hard work and dedication you put into yourself will be extremely rewarding.

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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on April 21, 2012 at 11:38am

Like Boss said, don't believe most of what you see. These girls out here post about their club lives because sometimes that's all they have. The club life isn't all it's cracked up to be unless you're making money off of it. So unless those girls are getting paid to be there, don't consider yourself the unlucky one. I will speak from experience, find something you like to do, even if it's a hobby and find ways to make money doing it. Even the smallest hobby could turn into a big opportunity. As far as feeling like an old maid, like another poster said, do something for YOU! I enjoy traveling. You can actually travel all over the country for pretty cheap with the right planning and some Priceline Negotiator skills lol 

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Permalink Reply by Eleven8 on April 21, 2012 at 11:40am

This is great advice that I took coming up as well. I wish this was Facebook and there was a LIKE button for this!! lol

2.0 said:

Hey Doll,

 

These women have given great advice thus far, so I won't echo them. But may I advise... *and this may sound weird*, tweak your timeline - regardless of the social media you're on - so you're "Following" people who are successful in the field/degree you've acquired. And "follow" successful people in an industry that may even be a hobby for you or has peaked your interest. Surrounding yourself with people (even in cyber-space) who are where you want to be will provide you with inspiration and motivation to forge forward. 

 

Start hitting up Meet-Up's. Go to their site and enter your interests; what will pop-up are lists upon lists of events. Majority of them are free and you can make some good connects but they're also a good time (i.e. after work parties free b4 a certain hour, happy hours, networking w/ speed dating, etc.). Find events where you can combine networking and your social life without overspending or feeling financially strapped. 

 

Also seek out a mentor. Most successful people regardless of industry are willing to "reach back", especially when they see someone's determination, talent and drive (which are common characteristics among successful people).

 

Lastly, don't settle for just having a "job" ... I realize we some times have to do what have to do to pay bills, but life is not solely about that. Continue to trek for the careeryou want, doing something you love.

 

The journey will be difficult but realize: The hard work and dedication you put into yourself will be extremely rewarding.

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Permalink Reply by Creative Bee on April 21, 2012 at 1:22pm

Ladies gave you great advice, also don't worry that you can't find a job after graduation, this is normal. I know a former top level executive of Boeing and he said his first year after graduation was his worst year of his life. No one wanted to hire him and he felt very useless. However he didn't settle with jobs he didn't want to.

You didn't say what is your degree in but don't be afraid if you have no experience. You have to find something what makes you stand out from other recent grads. Your real estate experience can help even if it might not be related to your degree. Skills like communication, work ethic, multitasking, team work are always in demand and those skills can be proven by your real estate experience. Make sure your resume is perfect ( summary of qualifications on top, tailored to the target job, followed by the skills set and experience with the bullet points, starting with action verb proving your skills), your linkedin has recommendations, you can ask your professors or clients to leave you a recommendation. Definitely join professionals groups and network network network. I'd say 90% of positions are filled through networking. I just got a great job because someone new someone and they recommended me. You have to put yourself out there. Research about companies and take initiative. You won't believe how many times openings are filled without job going to the public. You can always check with HR of company you'd like to work for and ask if there will be any opportunities to keep you in mind. Keep your knowledge current, degree is one thing but you have to be aware of whats going on in the your desired profession. Another way to get your foot in the door is to request and informational interview with the company, you can say you are recent grad and you would like to work for them in the future and you would like to learn about the company. CEO's like to talk about themselves and their company. 

Don't be discouraged if you have a plan and follow it you will succeed, trust me, you take one step at a time,

you will have time to be popping in the club after you get your success :) 

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Permalink Reply by DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN on April 21, 2012 at 1:47pm

the bartending thing is a great idea.....im really considering doing this myself mainly for the purposes of networking.....the money is another plus.....i have the perfect personality for that type of work as well.
 
OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

And you can network to get more clients for you real estate business.

ADVICE: don't underestimate your worth by comparing yourself with others.

KrystyyyMia said:

Thank you thank you. Yea it sometimes seems like their internet life is more entertaining than their real lives.

And you're the second person to bring up bartending as a suggestion. I think it's finally time for me to look into it.

And I appreciate the advice!!

Baller Alert said:

First.. thanks for posting.

Second.. don't believe the hype of these broads posting pics of red bottoms and having fun. I know a lot of them and it aint all peaches and cream. TRUST me.. I usually chuckle to myself when I read some of their timelines bragging and don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out.

Third.. sometimes you have to take three steps back to move five steps forward. I don't believe you listed your degree but maybe its time to go into another direction. Possibly something that you love to do.. it's nothing like getting paid for something you love to do. In the meantime, take 500 bucks or less and go to bartending school. Learn a trade that you can always fall back on. Some bartenders making six figures.. and most in cash - tax free. They usually claim their cc tips on taxes. 

You will be ok.. trust me.. I had to start over a few times.

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Permalink Reply by 2.0 on April 21, 2012 at 3:23pm

LOL Thanks Eleven8. 
(and I need to take some of my own advice lol sop worrying about these dudes and get back on my grind)

Eleven8 said:

This is great advice that I took coming up as well. I wish this was Facebook and there was a LIKE button for this!! lol

2.0 said:

Hey Doll,

 

These women have given great advice thus far, so I won't echo them. But may I advise... *and this may sound weird*, tweak your timeline - regardless of the social media you're on - so you're "Following" people who are successful in the field/degree you've acquired. And "follow" successful people in an industry that may even be a hobby for you or has peaked your interest. Surrounding yourself with people (even in cyber-space) who are where you want to be will provide you with inspiration and motivation to forge forward. 

 

Start hitting up Meet-Up's. Go to their site and enter your interests; what will pop-up are lists upon lists of events. Majority of them are free and you can make some good connects but they're also a good time (i.e. after work parties free b4 a certain hour, happy hours, networking w/ speed dating, etc.). Find events where you can combine networking and your social life without overspending or feeling financially strapped. 

 

Also seek out a mentor. Most successful people regardless of industry are willing to "reach back", especially when they see someone's determination, talent and drive (which are common characteristics among successful people).

 

Lastly, don't settle for just having a "job" ... I realize we some times have to do what have to do to pay bills, but life is not solely about that. Continue to trek for the careeryou want, doing something you love.

 

The journey will be difficult but realize: The hard work and dedication you put into yourself will be extremely rewarding.

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Permalink Reply by Lisa Smith Klein on April 21, 2012 at 4:25pm

Heyyy, I went through the exact same thing last year and I JUST came out on the other side. I am a couple years older than you and I graduated with my MBA in Dec of 2010. I had started looking for a job before I graduated, but to no avail. Since I couldn't find a job I ended up having to move back in with my mom. I did get a job after I moved in with her but it was a job that I had years ago before I even had my Bachelor's degree. I took the job just to have some income. Let me tell you I was sooo embarrassed and depressed during this time. But I kept my head, high tried to stay positive and kept applying for jobs in my field. Eventually, about 8 months after graduation, I found the job that I am at now. And the funny thing is that I had applied for another position but the recruitment manager felt that I was a better fit for another position that they hadn't even posted yet. I interviewed for that position and lo and behold I got that position. Now after all the uncertainty and b******* that I went through I have my dream job, working in Social Media, at a great company and I'm making good money. By moving in with my mom I was able to pay off debt and save money and a couple of months ago I moved out on my own again in an apartment that's much better than the one I had before. 

 

Like someone mentioned here, I had to take a few steps back to take a few more steps forward. I just want you to know that I was in the same position you were a few months ago and it does get better. Just keep looking for jobs in your field and stay positive!

Do you live in So. Florida? I do and I know my company is hiring. PM me if you want. Good luck and keep your head up!

 

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Permalink Reply by KrystyyyMia on April 22, 2012 at 6:19pm

I don't think you all understand how much your words have positively affected me! Thank you! 

And @LisaSmithKlein, yes I'm in South Florida, I just sent you a friend request to PM you!

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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on April 22, 2012 at 11:12pm

I know Im a little bit late and you have gotten alot of great advice already (i plan on taking some advice too) but I know exactly how you feel! I am in school at the moment graduating this year and have no job lined up. I feel so behind compared to other people. I too sometimes see chicks on twitter and get a luttle upset, but just like its been said before, you cant compare yourself to others. I saw you mentioned that youve gotten closer to God. The best thing i can tell you to do is pray! I was changing my major every other week but one day I just prayed that God would lead me to what is for me. I changed my major for the last time amd have not looked back. Now i am doing anything i can to reach my goal. Point is, dont get discouraged. You will find what it is that fits you. Have you heard of vision boards? Make one of all you goals and stArt working towards them. The thing that is going to hold you back is basing your life on how other ppl Are living. Those girls w/ those loubs and louis p**** popping days are limited. Youll have youre time. Just do you. Best of luck!

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Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on April 23, 2012 at 12:10am

OMG! I love my BA family so much.  @Krystyy I just want to tell you, you are not alone. Read this article:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/12/opinion/owens-boomerang-generation/in...

P.S. I wrote this in a previous post but, you don't want to be those girls on Twitter posting about their "fabulous" lives. Have you read "Diary of a Video Vixen?" or listened to the stories about Angel Lola Love? Both ended up broke, homeless and sleeping on other people's couches. I see firsthand what those girls do to get money. They will stay at a nice home and the guy who owns it will let anyone who comes through f*** her (I've coined those girls, "house whores"). Or, girls who run check scams or are drug mules like Catya Washington. Girls are stripping, prostituting, getting foster children and doing clinical drug trials just to get money for a handbag or nice pair of shoes. And, most of these girls are FLAT OUT LYING -- they don't own none of the s*** they're showing and it's all just smoke and mirrors. Someone needs to write a book on how these chicks are REALLY living because it's a lot of acting going on.

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