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Insecure Kneegrow
There is a guy that I like that used to work in my office.
It's been a year since he has, but we've kept in touch. His co-workers saw we had a connection and insisted (even his uncle, who yes, worked there too) that we "hook up." (Old people mean it differently then we do). lol
He had a lot going on then...a girlfriend mainly. But I could tell by the way he looked at me that he was attracted to me like i was to him.
Bad Phoenix got him home one night all hot and heavy, but he couldn't get it up. He said guilty conscience mixed with intimidation.
Fast forward.
He now has a kid. The BM/Ex-gf stuck the kid three states away with her mother because she doesn't want to be a mom and he has to finish school. He's trying to get the baby back.
We sit down for lunch a few weeks ago...and he tells me that he was never considered attractive growing up and all of this attention is new to him. Attention from me and from other women. He knows about my lifestyle...knows a few of the ballers i've dated...knows i get gifts...blah blah blah. He's a "regular" guy and does not feel he can "compete" with the "caliber" of men I deal with. These are his words. I like him though. I keep trying to tell him that it's not about the money, gifts, trips, blah blah blah. But he feels like his dinner and a movie option won't keep me. He doesn't know what I see in him...and I'm lowkey tired of explaining it to him...
Do I keep trying...? (i can't believe I'm even trying, s*** has never been this hard for me. EVER)
Or should I let his ass sell himself short and keep it pushin???
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by DB on -
Keep it pushing. He's insecure and you didn't necessarily do anything to make him feel that way.. Him not being "attractive" or sought after when e was younger will play a huge role in what kind of man he will be with you. Been there done that, nothing you can do/say will make him feel secure it has to come from him and who knows how long that will take.. Hell, even if you just wear a nice handbag etc he'll be thinking in the back of his mind (or say it outright like my ex) "who bought you that?" "you require more than I can give you" constantly comparing himself to men in your past smh.. I don't know him so this may not be the case but the same red flags are there and seeing as how he was about an erection short from cheating on someone else with you, that shows he likes validation from the women he gets now that he could never get before which may mean, won't take much for him to be "flattered" by the next girl that gives him the eye...
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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on -
Sooo much insight. And yes, this sounds just like him.
He'll eye my diamonds or my bag....
Guh... :(
DB said:Keep it pushing. He's insecure and you didn't necessarily do anything to make him feel that way.. Him not being "attractive" or sought after when e was younger will play a huge role in what kind of man he will be with you. Been there done that, nothing you can do/say will make him feel secure it has to come from him and who knows how long that will take.. Hell, even if you just wear a nice handbag etc he'll be thinking in the back of his mind (or say it outright like my ex) "who bought you that?" "you require more than I can give you" constantly comparing himself to men in your past smh.. I don't know him so this may not be the case but the same red flags are there and seeing as how he was about an erection short from cheating on someone else with you, that shows he likes validation from the women he gets now that he could never get before which may mean, won't take much for him to be "flattered" by the next girl that gives him the eye...
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Permalink Reply by Ms. BoiBye on -
Sorry I still stuck at GUH!!!!! LOL u are funny. +1 on DB's advice was on point.
But I have to co
Phoenix said:Sooo much insight. And yes, this sounds just like him.
He'll eye my diamonds or my bag....
Guh... :(
DB said:Keep it pushing. He's insecure and you didn't necessarily do anything to make him feel that way.. Him not being "attractive" or sought after when e was younger will play a huge role in what kind of man he will be with you. Been there done that, nothing you can do/say will make him feel secure it has to come from him and who knows how long that will take.. Hell, even if you just wear a nice handbag etc he'll be thinking in the back of his mind (or say it outright like my ex) "who bought you that?" "you require more than I can give you" constantly comparing himself to men in your past smh.. I don't know him so this may not be the case but the same red flags are there and seeing as how he was about an erection short from cheating on someone else with you, that shows he likes validation from the women he gets now that he could never get before which may mean, won't take much for him to be "flattered" by the next girl that gives him the eye...
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