Is it EVER okay to confront "the other woman"?
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My girlfriend is having a serious problem and cannot seem to get over it until she gets "closure". She had a very short "relationship" (fuckbuddies) with this guy and it came to an abrupt end when she sent him a text and instead of him taing it as a joke, he told her to basically kick rocks. "I dont want nothing to do with you!" is what the text said. Ever since then, she cannot move on. She told me after he sent the text, she got in her car and went to his houe(he lives about 2min. away) she sat there for a while and say a female walk out of his house. This upset her so much, she said she followed the woman in her car to get a closer look at her. They ended up having words with my friend asking her how does she know him and her saying she didnt know him. She said while she was behind her, she could tell the girl was on the phone, probably takling to him and he told her to deny, deny, deny.
I told her she wasnt even with dude that long and they wasnt in a relationship(but she hoped there would be one. she put the cart before the horse, sex 1st, hope for a relationship later) so who cares if this other chick is really the reason he told her to kick rocks or just that he was sick of her sending him stupid ass texts. Now, she is considering confronting the other chick since he never answeres her to her satisfation. She has shown me the text convo's and he is angry and told her he will never look at her the same after the stalking shit and that she's sick, crazy, retarded, etc. But as soon as she asks him about the chick....no reply. I kind of feel like if he wasnt messing with the other chick like that, just say no, but him constantly turing it around whenever she asks about her is kinda suspect, she said, maybe if I ask her, she'll tell me what really went down.
But i told her it is not all that serious, she already had words with the girl (oh and by the way, when the chick did pull over my friend scraped the side of the other chick's car with her car) so if you try to go in her neighborhood to confront her again, something serious may happen.
My friend is over analytical and I have been in the car with her before on a "stakeout" lol. I was using my p.i. skills on the same guy, i guess I get a rush from it too. Anyway, back to her, she is letting this overrule everything else in her life. She has put more energy into this man than she is putting on more important things that she NEEDS to be thinking about. She has good days and bad days, but yesterday was a really bad day for her I could tell.
Has anyone ever called or confronted any of you about their "man". Have any of you called another chick about a man or know someone who did?
I told her she wasnt even with dude that long and they wasnt in a relationship(but she hoped there would be one. she put the cart before the horse, sex 1st, hope for a relationship later) so who cares if this other chick is really the reason he told her to kick rocks or just that he was sick of her sending him stupid ass texts. Now, she is considering confronting the other chick since he never answeres her to her satisfation. She has shown me the text convo's and he is angry and told her he will never look at her the same after the stalking shit and that she's sick, crazy, retarded, etc. But as soon as she asks him about the chick....no reply. I kind of feel like if he wasnt messing with the other chick like that, just say no, but him constantly turing it around whenever she asks about her is kinda suspect, she said, maybe if I ask her, she'll tell me what really went down.
But i told her it is not all that serious, she already had words with the girl (oh and by the way, when the chick did pull over my friend scraped the side of the other chick's car with her car) so if you try to go in her neighborhood to confront her again, something serious may happen.
My friend is over analytical and I have been in the car with her before on a "stakeout" lol. I was using my p.i. skills on the same guy, i guess I get a rush from it too. Anyway, back to her, she is letting this overrule everything else in her life. She has put more energy into this man than she is putting on more important things that she NEEDS to be thinking about. She has good days and bad days, but yesterday was a really bad day for her I could tell.
Has anyone ever called or confronted any of you about their "man". Have any of you called another chick about a man or know someone who did?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by smallwonder903 on -
Never confront the other woman because you don't know what he told her and the fact that they already had an altercation it's not a smart move. if you are going to be FB's then that needs to be established in the beginning and she has to cut her feelings out of it or not even go there with him if she is was more interested than sex, which is hard for women. I have the same dilemma of falling for my FB but I just keep telling myself, even though the #1 girl doesn't want him, in his mind I will always be #2 and if she decides she want to come back I don't know if he would stay with me. I refuse to be #2. also ask her will knowing what happened really bring her closure or cause her to think of everything he has said or done if he was lying or spending time with the other girl. Ignorance is Bliss.
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Permalink Reply by OfficialGroupie on -
no. unless its family or a friend.
i've had chicks call me before. but i'm nice to them. i can understand their pain but i do check them tho.
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Permalink Reply by Boss/MadamBA on -
No...you have a relationship with the guy not the female..unless it's a girl you know (friend, family member)
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Permalink Reply by L0vie D0vie on -
nope...
He told her to kick rocks! What more does she need to hear? If she needs "closure", tell her to ask him! She's stalking someone who could very well be just a friend or relative.
Tell your friend to relax before she get's fucked up over some BULLSHIT!
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Permalink Reply by Cookie Pie on -
I have confronted the other woman before but she was extended family and she knew about us so I felt very disrespected ! I was a teenager back then and she was older than both of us , she told me that I was just a kid so she could do whatever she wanted with my man ! lol .... looking back I see how stupid it was , I should have been checking his ass because he was the one in the relationship with me ! But we live and we learn .... I would never do it again , there are too many ninjas out there to be focusing that much energy on one !!!!
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Permalink Reply by Stephbaby on -
I ve confronted chicks before years ago (feeling stupid admitting it)! I wasnt disrespectful, just asked how do they know each other & have they ever been intimate. This one chick made me feel sooooo small but she was respectful with her answer & talked 2 me like a lil sis (I know sounds crazy right). She straight up asked me; Am I the one telling u I love u? Am I the one making love 2 u? As simple as that was, she had a valid point. She also had alot more to say, not to make me feel small, but 2 wisen me up about the situation. If I wouldve came @ her ignorant like b**ch this & b**ch that, I probably wouldve been on that ignorant tip now & most likely would have never got that wake up call when I did.
In my opinon, its not okay 2 confront the other chick. The main person in concern should be the person ur in a relationship or having relations with. If u have more drama than happiness....keep it moving!
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Permalink Reply by The real vixxen on -
I ran up on a chick once a long time ago.. She worked w me and kne I was w the dude. He wasn't tellin me the truth so I ran up on her.. She tried to play the whole I didn't kno yall was together. Then I flipped out like bitch you see him pick me up everyday 4 lunch. Big blow out in the office. This was like 7 yrs ago.. I don't kno if I'd do that again tho.. I can't see myself stalkin a chick like ur friend tho lol
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Permalink Reply by Siren on -
The man is ALWAYS responsible. However as has been said by others if it is a friend, family member, or associate then confront away. I don;t owe anyone anything but that doesn' mean you go out of the way to be nasty. I had a situation where a guy i met was taking me out giving me $$$ taking me to meet family etc. I was driving his car etc. he was stressing me about being his GF swearing he was single until I get a phone call and the chick was not rude or disrespectful. So we set him up. He plaid semi pro ball and one of his teammates had a crush on me i made plans to meet the teammate up there (and told him the drama of it all) went to the game with the wife ( she was 6 months preggers btw) it was a trip to say the least. I didn't owe his wife anything but he was being trifling and playing games. She wasn't rude or coming for me so i was able to talk to her as a woman and empathize with her. Now I have also had the rude phone call that pushed me to behave in a whole different way... You know the phone call "B*tch you better stay away from my man" calls....those get no burn just based on the approach.
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Permalink Reply by Ms_Foxx on -
Your friend should take what little dignity that she has left and GET OVER IT!! There's no way in hell I'd ever waste my time on some nigga that doesn't want me, I am way too fine and there are way too many guys out there for that. Maybe she has a self esteem problem and doesn't think she can do any better?...as for confronting the other woman, that's something I personally wouldn't do. I really don't care if somebody that I WANT has a girl. I dont play fair and I don't expect other women to do so either.
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Permalink Reply by Sheli on -
AGREE....I don't think it's okay to confront the other chick (unless its a family member or close friend like others have said), sometimes the other woman is in the dark as well, she isn't to blame the dude is. In this case they weren't even in a relationship just FB so your friend has no valid claim to him.
I've never confronted a chick, because usually my man was dumb as hell and he didn't know how to or didn't care to cover his shit. So confronting the other chick would have been pointless, when I already knew the truth. She needs to get over it before she takes it too far and it ends up ruining her's or someone elses life
L0vie D0vie said:nope...
He told her to kick rocks! What more does she need to hear? If she needs "closure", tell her to ask him! She's stalking someone who could very well be just a friend or relative.
Tell your friend to relax before she get's fucked up over some BULLSHIT!
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Permalink Reply by Hello Kitty on -
Nope, never. If I have to go so far as to stalk someone and then follow the girl, or go through his shit to find numbers and call them, in my opinion, the relationship has already deteriorated. If the man I'm dating isn't being open enough with me about what's going on in his life, then that's a red flag. But then again, I keep it 100, so if he's dating when we meet, I won't hold that against him, I'm dating other people too, relationships take time to grow. Why go that extra step if he's already not answering your questions? I know she wants validity but I have a friend who does the EXACT same thing and after years of this B.S. with just about everyone she dates, I've realized that her tactics will never end. She's been hurt once and now no one is safe from her accusations, spying, lying, the list goes on and on, creating fake profiles on Face Book. You do dumb shit when you're young but if you don't grow out of it, you'll never meet someone who wants to be with you. Unless he's some sucka ass ninja that likes being controlled.
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Permalink Reply by Monica Amazing on -
*sigh*
When are some women gonna learn...
That guy nor that girl owes your friends squat. She was fuckin' dude, nothing more or less. Her last shred of DIGNITY is gurgling blood through it's last breath. Take the L and get over it before it gets any worse. Sheesh...
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