A friend and I were having a discussion when she said this "have you noticed how many fine men have ugly wives and girlfriends?? Why is a woman like me single?" so it made me wonder, do you think it's harder for an attractive woman with all her stuff together to get and keep a man? Do looks play any part at all in why a pretty woman might have a hard time in a relationship with an insecure man? Personally I've been in a relationship with an insecure man that cheated on me with some strange creatures and after we ended it, years later, he told me its because he never felt like he was good enough for me and the reason he went for women like the one he cheated with was because she worshipped him and made him feel like he was the best looking man she'd ever had (I never made him feel like that but his insecurities messed with his perception I guess) so what do you all think? Been in a similar situation?

Tags: Insecure, boogawoof, pretty, wtfiswrongwithsomemen

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Brii said:

Which post?

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

I wouldn't call it picky. It's knowing what you desire in your mate. See goldfinger's response in  eleven8's post. It took me a loooong time to find someone that had that mindset. It's more than just looks.

Brii said:

I am not shallow.. I'm very picky and I wouldn't settle for anyone just to say I have a man... I have learned that I'm not easy to deal with lol I'm SPOILED ROTTEN 

Bingo..

JustMe said:

After you're pretty, then what? What do you bring to the table???? Lots of "pretty" girls don't understand that looks may peak his interest, but personality will make him stay...
Ugly girls know this...

Beauty fades...by that shallow comment sounds like she is stank boots.

His comment was 100% on point I had to copy and paste it .. That's all I ask for 

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

I wouldn't call it picky. It's knowing what you desire in your mate. See goldfinger's response in  eleven8's post. It took me a loooong time to find someone that had that mindset. It's more than just looks.

Brii said:

I am not shallow.. I'm very picky and I wouldn't settle for anyone just to say I have a man... I have learned that I'm not easy to deal with lol I'm SPOILED ROTTEN 
I have the problem that most guys think there not good enough for me.... a lot tell me that...at first I thought it was a nice way to let me down...lol but now I believe it...but I def choose the wrong type
Idk what kind of person she is in a relationship (personality wise) so I can't speak on that but I was curious to know what you all thought about her question. Trust me I can say looks are not everything which is why I make sure that I don't rely on them because everybody has a type, I may not be their type etc etc but @tone, I don't rate myself or anyone else, I just feel that im attractive. Some women/men rely solely on looks and that's their whole package but personally I'm not one of those people

I once dated a good friend of the family that I had grown up around (our grandparents were friends, our parents went to hs together, our brothers are best friends). I always liked him when we were kids but he never really showed an interest so I chalked  it up and lived my life. After we both came home from college we started talking then hanging out then dating. One day we were talking and he told me that "If I saw you at a party I would have never approached you" so I wanted to know what he meant and he elaborated by saying something to the effect of  "A girl like you is so pretty that the possibility of getting turned down is intimidating,  I would have hit up 10 average girls before I even thought about talking to you" I was heated! Like im a nice person, Im never a b**** unless I have to be so wtf!?!?! He said "that may be true but the only reason I even tried with you is bc I knew you first alot of pretty girls have an attitudes so its not worth the effort" 0_o

Its aesthetic discrimination plain and simple 

I totally concur. I think the strong 6's of the world have it all, and a few of my friends are true testaments of that. I mean, men these days don't care: I'm on a date with one man and another man will try to holla, give me eyes, talk to me etc. It makes it really difficult because men always get the strong impression that it's not all about them (which honestly it isn't LOL but other men violating their space makes it damn obvious). It's not a lack of personality thing, otherwise women wouldn't pull half these men. I just don't think men are used to having to doubt themselves with women especially early on, esp men of stature.

Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:

  1. Ladies hate you. period.
  2. Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
  3. Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.

In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!

Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically. 

Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.

 

The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.



I agree!! A lot of the guys I meet just wanna smash and they all think I'm dumb has a box of rocks until they see I can hold a convo and have a lot of s*** going for myself!! Its like just because I'm pretty dpesnt mean im dumb I mean hell there's more to me than what meets the eye. And I didn't really start thinking i was pretty until my senior year of high school. Smh. Love is a Losing Game said:

Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:

  1. Ladies hate you. period.
  2. Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
  3. Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.

In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!

Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically. 

Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.

 

The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.

I think you guys don't understand how men judge women. Just because you don't think she looks good don't mean men we don't think she looks good.

OMG. I was about to post, but you took the words right out of my mouth!

People don't take pretty girls seriously. They're either trophies or their stupid. And then when I guy realizes I'm not just a pretty face...then they're worried about competition and the amount of dudes I have "in my pocket." Dudes are scared to be cheated on by a pretty girl. They want a girl with less options. 

I just started talking to this guy and we've done a couple of house dates (i hate those but it's much more private and chill). And after conversations or a witty back and forth, he's like "you are so smart! i'm impressed." Then I had to tell him he ain't s*** for thinkin i wasn't smart! 

Love is a Losing Game said:

Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:

  1. Ladies hate you. period.
  2. Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
  3. Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.

In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!

Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically. 

Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.

 

The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.

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