A friend and I were having a discussion when she said this "have you noticed how many fine men have ugly wives and girlfriends?? Why is a woman like me single?" so it made me wonder, do you think it's harder for an attractive woman with all her stuff together to get and keep a man? Do looks play any part at all in why a pretty woman might have a hard time in a relationship with an insecure man? Personally I've been in a relationship with an insecure man that cheated on me with some strange creatures and after we ended it, years later, he told me its because he never felt like he was good enough for me and the reason he went for women like the one he cheated with was because she worshipped him and made him feel like he was the best looking man she'd ever had (I never made him feel like that but his insecurities messed with his perception I guess) so what do you all think? Been in a similar situation?

Tags: Insecure, boogawoof, pretty, wtfiswrongwithsomemen

Views: 2587

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

   http://www.balleralert.com/profiles/blogs/the-real-reason-black-men...

Brii said:

Which post?

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

I wouldn't call it picky. It's knowing what you desire in your mate. See goldfinger's response in  eleven8's post. It took me a loooong time to find someone that had that mindset. It's more than just looks.

Brii said:

I am not shallow.. I'm very picky and I wouldn't settle for anyone just to say I have a man... I have learned that I'm not easy to deal with lol I'm SPOILED ROTTEN 

Bingo..

JustMe said:

After you're pretty, then what? What do you bring to the table???? Lots of "pretty" girls don't understand that looks may peak his interest, but personality will make him stay...
Ugly girls know this...

Beauty fades...by that shallow comment sounds like she is stank boots.

His comment was 100% on point I had to copy and paste it .. That's all I ask for 

OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:

I wouldn't call it picky. It's knowing what you desire in your mate. See goldfinger's response in  eleven8's post. It took me a loooong time to find someone that had that mindset. It's more than just looks.

Brii said:

I am not shallow.. I'm very picky and I wouldn't settle for anyone just to say I have a man... I have learned that I'm not easy to deal with lol I'm SPOILED ROTTEN 
I have the problem that most guys think there not good enough for me.... a lot tell me that...at first I thought it was a nice way to let me down...lol but now I believe it...but I def choose the wrong type
Exactly!!!

Most men will take a 6 with a dope attitude over a self proclaimed pretty broad. Youth and looks WILL fade, but a good personality is timeless! 

JustMe said:
After you're pretty, then what? What do you bring to the table???? Lots of "pretty" girls don't understand that looks may peak his interest, but personality will make him stay... Ugly girls know this...
Idk what kind of person she is in a relationship (personality wise) so I can't speak on that but I was curious to know what you all thought about her question. Trust me I can say looks are not everything which is why I make sure that I don't rely on them because everybody has a type, I may not be their type etc etc but @tone, I don't rate myself or anyone else, I just feel that im attractive. Some women/men rely solely on looks and that's their whole package but personally I'm not one of those people

I once dated a good friend of the family that I had grown up around (our grandparents were friends, our parents went to hs together, our brothers are best friends). I always liked him when we were kids but he never really showed an interest so I chalked  it up and lived my life. After we both came home from college we started talking then hanging out then dating. One day we were talking and he told me that "If I saw you at a party I would have never approached you" so I wanted to know what he meant and he elaborated by saying something to the effect of  "A girl like you is so pretty that the possibility of getting turned down is intimidating,  I would have hit up 10 average girls before I even thought about talking to you" I was heated! Like im a nice person, Im never a b**** unless I have to be so wtf!?!?! He said "that may be true but the only reason I even tried with you is bc I knew you first alot of pretty girls have an attitudes so its not worth the effort" 0_o

Its aesthetic discrimination plain and simple 

I totally concur. I think the strong 6's of the world have it all, and a few of my friends are true testaments of that. I mean, men these days don't care: I'm on a date with one man and another man will try to holla, give me eyes, talk to me etc. It makes it really difficult because men always get the strong impression that it's not all about them (which honestly it isn't LOL but other men violating their space makes it damn obvious). It's not a lack of personality thing, otherwise women wouldn't pull half these men. I just don't think men are used to having to doubt themselves with women especially early on, esp men of stature.

Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:

  1. Ladies hate you. period.
  2. Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
  3. Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.

In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!

Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically. 

Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.

 

The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.



I agree!! A lot of the guys I meet just wanna smash and they all think I'm dumb has a box of rocks until they see I can hold a convo and have a lot of s*** going for myself!! Its like just because I'm pretty dpesnt mean im dumb I mean hell there's more to me than what meets the eye. And I didn't really start thinking i was pretty until my senior year of high school. Smh. Love is a Losing Game said:

Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:

  1. Ladies hate you. period.
  2. Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
  3. Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.

In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!

Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically. 

Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.

 

The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.

I think you guys don't understand how men judge women. Just because you don't think she looks good don't mean men we don't think she looks good.

Reply to Discussion

RSS

ADVERTISEMENT

Connect


BallerBoards

Moving Ideas Please

Started by Ashley Thomas in Talk Ish. Last reply by Miss Good 2 hours ago. 6 Replies

Hey,I'm a recent college graduate and is looking for places to move to. I want to find a baller, so where are some places I should look at?. I was thinking New York. Any ideas??? I need help lolI am…Continue

Has Anyone Had This Experience With a Hypocritical Black Man?

Started by OD_on_Me in Talk Ish. Last reply by Ph@tty 3 hours ago. 11 Replies

Everyone knows many black men out there refuse to date black women. It is almost always about what they don't like about black women and not what they do like about white women. They often paint this…Continue

Tags: preference, men, women, black, interracial

ATTN NYC WOMEN: Do Not Date This Negro!

Started by Madison Roberts in Talk Ish. Last reply by Just Because... 4 hours ago. 135 Replies

If you see this nicca, RUN! LOL!https://twitter.com/TROYSOWITTY …Continue

Tags: dontdatehim, forest, run

Instagram Vent

Started by DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN in Talk Ish. Last reply by BeenAddicted2Retail 6 hours ago. 25 Replies

welp looks like instagram has too bit the dust for me lol i am no longer on any social networks other then good ole ba :)things that did it for me......the thirst!!! - everybody is so desperate for…Continue

Tags: etc, networks, social, twitter, instagram

GLAM TV

Latest Activity

HONEYB updated their profile
1 hour ago
christina mcclure joined FP's group
Thumbnail

Real ballers who run ballers

for those ladies who are really connected and know the know and who will drop this knowledge. for…See More
1 hour ago
EmpressSoDivine left a comment for BadCookie22
"Hey girl just dropping by to show you some love. Hope you're keeping up with your daily…"
1 hour ago
EmpressSoDivine left a comment for Paris Skyel
"Welcome to BA!"
1 hour ago
Esha Denise and Miss Good are now friends
2 hours ago
Miss Good and leahakabambii are now friends
2 hours ago
Miss Good commented on Eleven8's blog post Rihanna Bops Fan In The Head with Microphone (Video)
"Lmfaoooo I am CRYING laughing!!"
2 hours ago
Miss Good replied to Ashley Thomas's discussion Moving Ideas Please
"I had the same problem. But since cost of living is a non MF'n factor for you Id try LA, NY,…"
2 hours ago
Miss Good commented on divine_pie's group Chocolate Dallas
"Hey ladies, im moving to dallas and will be visiting a few times before I do move to apt hunt and…"
2 hours ago
Ph@tty replied to OD_on_Me's discussion Has Anyone Had This Experience With a Hypocritical Black Man?
"I have heard comments from BM like " You look like you date white boys" before.  I…"
3 hours ago
Tia Haymon liked Eleven8's event New Orleans - KEVIN HART OF THE CITY BIRTHDAY BASH 7/5-7/6
4 hours ago
Tia Haymon might attend Eleven8's event
Thumbnail

New Orleans - KEVIN HART OF THE CITY BIRTHDAY BASH 7/5-7/6 at Jax Brewery Bistro

July 5, 2013 at 10pm to July 7, 2013 at 7pm
4 hours ago

© 2013   Created by Baller Alert.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Offline

Live Video