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It's hard being attractive?
A friend and I were having a discussion when she said this "have you noticed how many fine men have ugly wives and girlfriends?? Why is a woman like me single?" so it made me wonder, do you think it's harder for an attractive woman with all her stuff together to get and keep a man? Do looks play any part at all in why a pretty woman might have a hard time in a relationship with an insecure man? Personally I've been in a relationship with an insecure man that cheated on me with some strange creatures and after we ended it, years later, he told me its because he never felt like he was good enough for me and the reason he went for women like the one he cheated with was because she worshipped him and made him feel like he was the best looking man she'd ever had (I never made him feel like that but his insecurities messed with his perception I guess) so what do you all think? Been in a similar situation?
Tags: Insecure, boogawoof, pretty, wtfiswrongwithsomemen
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on -
OMG. I was about to post, but you took the words right out of my mouth!
People don't take pretty girls seriously. They're either trophies or their stupid. And then when I guy realizes I'm not just a pretty face...then they're worried about competition and the amount of dudes I have "in my pocket." Dudes are scared to be cheated on by a pretty girl. They want a girl with less options.
I just started talking to this guy and we've done a couple of house dates (i hate those but it's much more private and chill). And after conversations or a witty back and forth, he's like "you are so smart! i'm impressed." Then I had to tell him he ain't s*** for thinkin i wasn't smart!
Love is a Losing Game said:Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:
- Ladies hate you. period.
- Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
- Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.
In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!
Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically.
Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.
The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.
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Permalink Reply by Miss Good on -
I was about to ask a question, but this just answered it. I wish these insecure ass men would just grow up *sigh*
Phoenix said:OMG. I was about to post, but you took the words right out of my mouth!
People don't take pretty girls seriously. They're either trophies or their stupid. And then when I guy realizes I'm not just a pretty face...then they're worried about competition and the amount of dudes I have "in my pocket." Dudes are scared to be cheated on by a pretty girl. They want a girl with less options.
I just started talking to this guy and we've done a couple of house dates (i hate those but it's much more private and chill). And after conversations or a witty back and forth, he's like "you are so smart! i'm impressed." Then I had to tell him he ain't s*** for thinkin i wasn't smart!
Love is a Losing Game said:Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:
- Ladies hate you. period.
- Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
- Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.
In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!
Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically.
Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.
The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.
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Permalink Reply by PlaneJaneLane on -
Its not just the men who are insecure I have noticed that a lot of gorgeous women (Halle Berry) are batshit crazy.
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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on
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I think it's from being mistreated by men. Didn't she get her ass beat by one of her dudes?
She's probably insecure now herself because insecure men have made her that way.
Men play a whole lot of games.
PlaneJaneLane said:Its not just the men who are insecure I have noticed that a lot of gorgeous women (Halle Berry) are batshit crazy.
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Permalink Reply by Siren on -
I have to agree with you... A good friend of mine who is a "baller" in his own right (a very successful entrepenuer) who used to stay with a "bad chick" on his arm has sadi that some of the most beautiful women in the world are the most insecure crazy women in the world. He said he finds the beautiful women he used to date hating on what they "perceive" hus current girl to be (average or whatever) He says now that he is older that he values the complete package more now than the outside.
PlaneJaneLane said:
Its not just the men who are insecure I have noticed that a lot of gorgeous women (Halle Berry) are batshit crazy.
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Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on -
I agree 1000%
*Check the highlighted parts for clarification.
Love is a Losing Game said:Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:
- Ladies hate you. period.
- Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
- Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.
In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!
Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically.
Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.
The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.
-
Permalink Reply by BabyBallerCheeks on
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Ditto to this as well. You guys have left me speechless!
Phoenix said:OMG. I was about to post, but you took the words right out of my mouth!
People don't take pretty girls seriously. They're either trophies or their stupid. And then when I guy realizes I'm not just a pretty face...then they're worried about competition and the amount of dudes I have "in my pocket." Dudes are scared to be cheated on by a pretty girl. They want a girl with less options.
I just started talking to this guy and we've done a couple of house dates (i hate those but it's much more private and chill). And after conversations or a witty back and forth, he's like "you are so smart! i'm impressed." Then I had to tell him he ain't s*** for thinkin i wasn't smart!
-
Permalink Reply by DB on -
I super agree with the competition part. The guy that cheated was constantly asking me if I had dated better looking guys than him etc and I'm really not the type of person that likes bringing "the past" into new relationships so it would annoy the hell out of me. It's easy for a lot of men to assume that because I may be attractive or may dress nice or whatever they assume I'm stuck up, hard to get, require too much to get and keep, must have dated some models that he won't be able to compete with, or I will cheat on him. The fact is, I'm a very chill person and cheating is a really terrible thing so none of their assumptions are ever right BUT they almost always assume it because of what they view from the outside. I do carry myself like I am the s*** because that's how all people should, walk like you know your worth, but in no way should that ever make someone judge me off bat. It's funny how quickly their minds change about me when they talk to me and realize I'm not shallow and require more than "ooh shiny thing" to keep my attention! Negroes just don't wanna try!!! lol
Phoenix said:OMG. I was about to post, but you took the words right out of my mouth!
People don't take pretty girls seriously. They're either trophies or their stupid. And then when I guy realizes I'm not just a pretty face...then they're worried about competition and the amount of dudes I have "in my pocket." Dudes are scared to be cheated on by a pretty girl. They want a girl with less options.
I just started talking to this guy and we've done a couple of house dates (i hate those but it's much more private and chill). And after conversations or a witty back and forth, he's like "you are so smart! i'm impressed." Then I had to tell him he ain't s*** for thinkin i wasn't smart!
Love is a Losing Game said:Having been considered an ugly girl for a loooooonnnnggg time, I can talk about a bit of both sides. First, let me say, I miss being ugly. I think life was so much easier then. I mean "I wasn't gettin niggas doe" in my philly girl voice, lol, but there was no pressure either. I could just live my life and be happy about it. Being considered pretty has three major drawbacks to me:
- Ladies hate you. period.
- Men only see the physical and most just wanna f*ck one time, then try to get to know u.
- Everybody thinks you are dumb and shallow.
In my pretty girl life, I have found that I have to tread lightly when I working with other women. Even having women as friends. At work, I try to downplay my looks by not wearing makeup, super stylish clothes or even heels. I try to just "look regular" and not put a bunch of fuss into my outer appearance. Women, especially women in power DO NOT like pretty bishes around them! If you are a pretty bish u better watch out, cuz they and the rest of the average hoes will hate you!
Men only see the sexy part. I mean they try to pretend that they want to know enough about you to make u think they care and ish, but they be interested in hittin that OFF BAT! Then, I think they may consider getting to know you. Also, some men are intimidated like yall stated. They try to "lower" you by talking ish and slick tryna put u down. Some try to hurt you emotionally or even physically.
Lastly, folk think a pretty bish is as dumb as a bag of rocks. I get soooo tired of folk trying me. I mean seriously. They think cuz I smile and am cool about a lot of stuff that I am just dumb and don't know ish. This is another reason why I miss my ugly days. People listened to me and I feel like they weighed my words. Now, I think when folk hear me talking they be thinking "aw this bish got it made, she don't know s*** about what I'm talking about.
The reality is that I still feel like the same person I was before people started tellin me I was cute. I still think the same and treat folk the same. I still want to treat folk good, and I want to be treated good. It's not all about me, I focus my efforts on others, but I guess my outer makes it hard for people to see what I need and want in my inner. I will admit tho, as a pretty girl, I don't have to get a man through my personality. I miss that too from my ugly days. I used to be able to get to know guys and learn alot from them. but now, I think the convo is way different than it was.
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Permalink Reply by SoLuscious on
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im the same
Brii said:I am not shallow.. I'm very picky and I wouldn't settle for anyone just to say I have a man... I have learned that I'm not easy to deal with lol I'm SPOILED ROTTEN
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Permalink Reply by darnell nelson on -
Interesting convoy ladies and gents, now amp that a 1000 times, and you have competition between gay men. I am a pretty man, always was, always will be, it's just a fact. I live in NYC, and these men are so incredibly insecure, till I took drastic measures, and became celibate, and have been for over 5 years. Men, period are children that need to be coddled and egos need to be stroked, and that not what I do. Many of you don't know this, but that is the very reason, why many of us are "crossing" over, and beginning to date straight or bicurious men, cause men these days don't have the backbone that makes a real man. When I was growing up, men were still strong and self assured, a man knew his place, and appreciated beauty in all its forms. Now days physical beauty is like a curse, your damn if your decent looking, with some semblance of a self esteem, and a career, in fact your a damn unicorn, and people don't mind treating u as such. I simply left it all behind, and concentrated on my spiritual self,best decision I have ever made. It's sad, in a sense, cause I have so much to offer, but if the world does not see it,.....then I make sure I do,...and keep it moving. Love is wonderful, and I would give my eyeteeth to have a man that I could call my own,...but I leave that to the universe,...will I just continue to be me. Don't give up ladies,...there is someone for everyone, just believe you are worthy,..and he will come.
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Permalink Reply by Honeycoated on
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LAWD! YES! *all this but in a hetero, female standpoint*
darnell nelson said:Interesting convoy ladies and gents, now amp that a 1000 times, and you have competition between gay men. I am a pretty man, always was, always will be, it's just a fact. I live in NYC, and these men are so incredibly insecure, till I took drastic measures, and became celibate, and have been for over 5 years. Men, period are children that need to be coddled and egos need to be stroked, and that not what I do. Many of you don't know this, but that is the very reason, why many of us are "crossing" over, and beginning to date straight or bicurious men, cause men these days don't have the backbone that makes a real man. When I was growing up, men were still strong and self assured, a man knew his place, and appreciated beauty in all its forms. Now days physical beauty is like a curse, your damn if your decent looking, with some semblance of a self esteem, and a career, in fact your a damn unicorn, and people don't mind treating u as such. I simply left it all behind, and concentrated on my spiritual self,best decision I have ever made. It's sad, in a sense, cause I have so much to offer, but if the world does not see it,.....then I make sure I do,...and keep it moving. Love is wonderful, and I would give my eyeteeth to have a man that I could call my own,...but I leave that to the universe,...will I just continue to be me. Don't give up ladies,...there is someone for everyone, just believe you are worthy,..and he will come.
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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on -
Welcome to BA and I hope you stick around. You have a lot to offer and I appreciate this candid honesty. Breath of Fresh air :)
darnell nelson said:Interesting convoy ladies and gents, now amp that a 1000 times, and you have competition between gay men. I am a pretty man, always was, always will be, it's just a fact. I live in NYC, and these men are so incredibly insecure, till I took drastic measures, and became celibate, and have been for over 5 years. Men, period are children that need to be coddled and egos need to be stroked, and that not what I do. Many of you don't know this, but that is the very reason, why many of us are "crossing" over, and beginning to date straight or bicurious men, cause men these days don't have the backbone that makes a real man. When I was growing up, men were still strong and self assured, a man knew his place, and appreciated beauty in all its forms. Now days physical beauty is like a curse, your damn if your decent looking, with some semblance of a self esteem, and a career, in fact your a damn unicorn, and people don't mind treating u as such. I simply left it all behind, and concentrated on my spiritual self,best decision I have ever made. It's sad, in a sense, cause I have so much to offer, but if the world does not see it,.....then I make sure I do,...and keep it moving. Love is wonderful, and I would give my eyeteeth to have a man that I could call my own,...but I leave that to the universe,...will I just continue to be me. Don't give up ladies,...there is someone for everyone, just believe you are worthy,..and he will come.
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