For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!

actress, philanthropist, mother and all-around Renaissance woman, Jill Scott gets to the root of our feelings on the matter.
My new friend is handsome, African-American, intelligent and seemingly wealthy. He is an athlete, loves his momma, and is happily married to a White woman. I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped. But something in me just knew he didn't marry a sister. Although my guess hit the mark, when my friend told me his wife was indeed Caucasian, I felt my spirit...wince. I didn't immediately understand it. My face read happy for you. My body showed no reaction to my inner pinch, but the sting was there, quiet like a mosquito under a summer dress.
Was I jealous? Did the reality of his relationship somehow diminish his soul's credibility? The answer is not simple. One could easily dispel the wince as racist or separatist, but that's not how I was brought up. I was reared in a Jehovah's Witness household. I was taught that every man should be judged by his deeds and not his color, and I firmly stand where my grandmother left me. African people worldwide are known to be welcoming and open-minded. We share our culture sometimes to our own peril and most of us love the very notion of love. My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.
When our people were enslaved, "Massa" placed his Caucasian woman on a pedestal. She was spoiled, revered and angelic, while the Black slave woman was overworked, beaten, raped and farmed out like cattle to be mated. She was nothing and neither was our Black man. As slavery died for the greater good of America, and the movement for equality sputtered to life, the White woman was on the cover of every American magazine. She was the dazzling jewel on every movie screen, the glory of every commercial and television show. She was unequivocally the standard of beauty for this country, firmly unattainable to anyone not of her race. We daughters of the dust were seen as ugly, nappy mammies, good for day work and unwanted children, while our men were thought to be thieving, sex-hungry animals with limited brain capacity.
We reflect on this awful past and recall that if a Black man even looked at a White woman, he would have been lynched, beaten, jailed or shot to death. In the midst of this, Black women and Black men struggled together, mourned together, starved together, braved the hoses and vicious police dogs and died untimely on southern back roads together. These harsh truths lead to what we really feel when we see a seemingly together brother with a Caucasian woman and their children. That feeling is betrayed. While we exert efforts to raise our sons and daughters to appreciate themselves and respect others, most of us end up doing this important work alone, with no fathers or like representatives, limited financial support (often court-enforced) and, on top of everything else, an empty bed. It's frustrating and it hurts!
Our minds do understand that people of all races find genuine love in many places. We dig that the world is full of amazing options. But underneath, there is a bite, no matter the ointment, that has yet to stop burning. Some may find these thoughts to be hurtful. That is not my intent. I'm just sayin'.
OMG I CAN'T SLEEP SO POSTING RANDOM ISSUES.. SAW THIS ON A GOSSIP BOARD IT'S FROM ESSENCE
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Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 27, 2010 at 10:36am
Permalink Reply by Baller Alert on March 27, 2010 at 11:04am
Permalink Reply by RayRay&Pookie'sWIFEY on March 27, 2010 at 11:41am I am not trying to disregard her feelings but;when I see a black man with a white women, I DON'T CARE! I can no longer make this an issue for me. I have enough baggage. Ppl act like black men dating white women created the h*** in the ozone layer.
Tell me, why does it hurts when the black man is wealthy?
Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 27, 2010 at 11:57am I agree 100%.
Who cares! I don't wince or feel it deep down in my soul, lol.
Tab said:I am not trying to disregard her feelings but;when I see a black man with a white women, I DON'T CARE! I can no longer make this an issue for me. I have enough baggage. Ppl act like black men dating white women created the h*** in the ozone layer.
Tell me, why does it hurts when the black man is wealthy?
Permalink Reply by livelife25 on March 27, 2010 at 1:00pm
Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 27, 2010 at 1:14pm But why walk around with a chip on your shoulder, about something that doesn't concern you? (not you JM) She is in the industry and if her soul burns everytime she see a black man with a white woman, then she should be burnt to a crisp by now. Holding this type of feeling, makes one bitter. BTW...It's really the weathly black men with white women that burns her soul, she said it. If he isnt checking for me and I'm not checking for him, why set my soul on fire?? That's why there are so many ABW, they walk around with this going on inside them. And the majority of them don't see a white face through out their daily routine, but they are still holding on to the negative energy. Enough with this already, it's not gonna change. It's like beating a dead horse. Now if a black man takes it upon himself to disrespect black females by comparing us to his white lady, that's when souls should be set on fire. Until then, this white man is gonna pay for my lunch and I'm going home.
Jill needs to stop it, she has issues. She worded it like a song but it still sings issues. This is starting to sound like brothers who don't want to do and always blame the man.
**NO I AM NOT BRAIN WASHED.
JustMe said:neither do I, but just cause you doesn't mean its okay to discount her feelings...
Fantasia'sGEDTutor said:I agree 100%.
Who cares! I don't wince or feel it deep down in my soul, lol.
Tab said:I am not trying to disregard her feelings but;when I see a black man with a white women, I DON'T CARE! I can no longer make this an issue for me. I have enough baggage. Ppl act like black men dating white women created the h*** in the ozone layer.
Tell me, why does it hurts when the black man is wealthy?
Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on March 27, 2010 at 3:36pm Amen to Jilly!
Its not a mattering of caring,but instead its something that is sad to see.
Black men have little or no loyalty to their women or children and they should be put on blast!
The way to truely show you don't care is by not supporting them or their BS careers!
Like Wesley Snipes! I haven't seen a movie by him since Money Train! He as said in several interviews that black women are gold diggers!
Yep, and that's why the IRS was deep in yo pockets! Smh
Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 27, 2010 at 6:10pm i've said this before, and i'll say it again: public figures don't need to be making these kinds of statments publicly. it's not as if she's standing up for some major cause, this is simply an opinion. jill is an actress and musician who relies on people OF ALL COLORS to support her endeavors...you don't need to be alienating potential money in your pocket/opportunities with statements like this. i'm not asking her to deny her feelings, but the public doesn't need to know this!!!
Permalink Reply by JustMe on March 27, 2010 at 6:33pm Ask yourself this, these men that have no loyalty to their black women, do you think they are loyal to their white women? If there is something "messed up" about him for dating outside his race, why would you want him? Again, it's all about the money. Do we care when we see Obobo with Sally? NO! But let it be Kevton King #00 and it's WWIII.
Permalink Reply by Damnstraight on March 27, 2010 at 6:58pm
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