I was reading an article on Essence called 7 Things Your Man Wants You to Know But Won't Tell You..

Two of them are very contradictory...

He doesn’t want a wallflower.

He wants to be with someone willing to display a reasonable amount of aggression. It is a widely held belief that men prefer submissive women who don’t challenge us but rather sit back and do as we say and accept what we give them. This is very far from the truth and from another century. Men want to be partners in a relationship and sometimes they want and expect you to make the first move and take some of the control of the wheel. To many of us this is very refreshing.

He is even more attracted to you when you’re not always available to him.

An axiom when it comes to men is that what we can’t have we tend to want even more. Too available can also mean too easy. If you don’t present somewhat of a challenge to us, then we lose what is often one of the most exciting aspects of a budding relationship—the thrill of the hunt.

So which one is it??? lol

Tags: dumb men

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Neither & both

I'm a need Essence to hire a heterosexual man to write their retraction piece because whoever wrote this has no clue about what a man wants. smh

I need Essence to know who they are interviewing/polling for their information. Either interview men in marriage/relationships only or single men only. These are responses from two different groups of men combined to aim at one target, that first one sounds like the response married men or men in committed relationships will give, they want partners who share & contribute to the relationship.  The second answer sounds like men who want to date but don't want the women to think it's a relationship, just phucking & hanging out.

I agree with you Sheli but I also think the second one can apply to men in relationships as well. If you are too available in the beginning it can also be a sign that once you are in a relationship that you will not have your own thing going on.
Sheli said:

I need Essence to know who they are interviewing/polling for their information. Either interview men in marriage/relationships only or single men only. These are responses from two different groups of men combined to aim at one target, that first one sounds like the response married men or men in committed relationships will give, they want partners who share & contribute to the relationship.  The second answer sounds like men who want to date but don't want the women to think it's a relationship, just phucking & hanging out.

I think Terrance Dean wrote this article... he gay right?

Good point.

Siren said:

I agree with you Sheli but I also think the second one can apply to men in relationships as well. If you are too available in the beginning it can also be a sign that once you are in a relationship that you will not have your own thing going on.
Sheli said:

I need Essence to know who they are interviewing/polling for their information. Either interview men in marriage/relationships only or single men only. These are responses from two different groups of men combined to aim at one target, that first one sounds like the response married men or men in committed relationships will give, they want partners who share & contribute to the relationship.  The second answer sounds like men who want to date but don't want the women to think it's a relationship, just phucking & hanging out.

I don't think that is what that means.. people make time for what they want to make time for no matter how busy they are. If you like a person why do you have to play games to act like you are NOT available to see them. Do you want me to be aggressive or submissive? They don't know what the hell they want. I think the answer to all of that is to be with someone who likes you more than you like them.

Siren said:

I agree with you Sheli but I also think the second one can apply to men in relationships as well. If you are too available in the beginning it can also be a sign that once you are in a relationship that you will not have your own thing going on.
Sheli said:

I need Essence to know who they are interviewing/polling for their information. Either interview men in marriage/relationships only or single men only. These are responses from two different groups of men combined to aim at one target, that first one sounds like the response married men or men in committed relationships will give, they want partners who share & contribute to the relationship.  The second answer sounds like men who want to date but don't want the women to think it's a relationship, just phucking & hanging out.


I don't think you have to play games. I also see how some women willn ot do what they should be doing to be available for a man as well. Nobody should be available all of the time, that is not about playing games. I think it about balance. You can be agresive in some ways and submissive in others. I think it is about balance...
Baller Alert said:

I don't think that is what that means.. people make time for what they want to make time for no matter how busy they are. If you like a person why do you have to play games to act like you are NOT available to see them. Do you want me to be aggressive or submissive? They don't know what the hell they want. I think the answer to all of that is to be with someone who likes you more than you like them.
Siren said:

I agree with you Sheli but I also think the second one can apply to men in relationships as well. If you are too available in the beginning it can also be a sign that once you are in a relationship that you will not have your own thing going on. Sheli said:

I need Essence to know who they are interviewing/polling for their information. Either interview men in marriage/relationships only or single men only. These are responses from two different groups of men combined to aim at one target, that first one sounds like the response married men or men in committed relationships will give, they want partners who share & contribute to the relationship.  The second answer sounds like men who want to date but don't want the women to think it's a relationship, just phucking & hanging out.

I think we all play cat and mouse in the beginning, but my definition of solid healthy relationship is when you are comfortable with each other the way you are and there is no need for games. 

For example: If I just started dating and a man did something wrong, I would ignore his calls and wait util he fixes what he did, I might be all over him and want to see him like crazy but I have to play this game so he knows the boundaries and won't step over you later.

In my current relationship I can say I'm not happy with this and that and It's usually enough to fix situation, because he knows I'm going to do the same in return. 

 

  What he is trying to say is don't be a needy woman

lol It just had the feel that either a woman or a homosexual man wrote it but I can see everyone else's point too.

Baller Alert said:

I think Terrance Dean wrote this article... he gay right?

Dassit!

Baller Alert said:

 people make time for what they want to make time for no matter how busy they are...They don't know what the hell they want. I think the answer to all of that is to be with someone who likes you more than you like them.

Siren said:

I agree with you Sheli but I also think the second one can apply to men in relationships as well. If you are too available in the beginning it can also be a sign that once you are in a relationship that you will not have your own thing going on.
Sheli said:

I need Essence to know who they are interviewing/polling for their information. Either interview men in marriage/relationships only or single men only. These are responses from two different groups of men combined to aim at one target, that first one sounds like the response married men or men in committed relationships will give, they want partners who share & contribute to the relationship.  The second answer sounds like men who want to date but don't want the women to think it's a relationship, just phucking & hanging out.

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