For Women Who Want The Ballerific Life!
lol !!! You never know ...
Siren said:Are you my sister? LOL
Cookie Pie said:I just want to make it clear that , I love my mother and I enjoy her company . She has the biggest heart and will give me anything that is within her power . My problem with her is similar to Siren .... she is very controlling , everything has to be her way , and she thinks that I'm just a mini version of her ..... she doesn't see me as an individual .She would rather spend time with and nurture someone else than spend time with me ..... she has always been that way ..... I used to think it was because I was a mistake ans she didn't love me , but now I know that she just refuses to try and understand me . I disagree with mostly all of her views , simply because we are different people , but instead of her accepting me for who I am , she tries to force her point of view and we end up clashing HARD ! She will willfully tell a lie , then ask me if it's the truth .... when I say no ..... she will say " are you calling me a liar ? " , I never understood that part of her but I accept it . On top of all of that , she has power , so if she wants me to do something , she will make a few phone calls and force me into doing what she wants ! I have not and will not ever cut her off , but I keep my distance . I have learned from our mistakes , I not only love , but I respect my children as individuals , I nurture them and encourage them to be themselves . I love my mom but I may never understand her , sadly I don't think that is ever going to change .
Cougar $pice said:Girl, in every generation it's there, can't escape it. Looking back when I saw how my mother interacted with my grandmother and how she interacts with us I see where she gets it from. I know better not to repeat that pattern.
Cookie Pie said:It is such a shame that there are so many people going through the same thing ..... it really shouldn't be this way , but I guess that's life ..... sigh .......
Sigh... Saturday I wsent put with my mother to do "wedding shopping" had a relatively good time and then yesterday things were shot to hell... I want to write more but don't want to strt crying on the train.....sigh. Ms Kissyface i can so relate to your story.
dont feed into that. an older woman once told me that all mothers are jealous of their daughters to a certain degree. she said any mother that claimed otherwise was lying. When a woman sees their daughter is coming of age and doing things on her own, things they've never been able to do, they start reflecting and realizing that they are OLD and they're options are limited whereas baby girl's options are unlimited, it's natural to envy that. Some mothers are just mature enough to see the bigger picture while other's are not.
Phoenix Alexander said:I brought the fact about her rentng up, because she has commented on it, How I think I'm better than she is because I own my own home. That is not the case at ll. I just think that she harbors resentment towards me because she missed out on a lot of life's milestones due to her drug usage.
smitty said:why would her renting be an issue? so long as you dont pay her rent, dont worry about that. dont worry about any aspect of her life that doesnt directly hinder you. if you do, she wont be driving you crazy, you'll be driving yourself crazy
Phoenix Alexander said:Everytime I have moved, ironically she moves within a few months, near me. Now that i have purchased a home, she lives 4 blocks from me. She is also still a renter , which I think is another issue between us.. the guy that I am in a relationship with keeps trying to convince me to move with him, he lives in another state.. that may be the only way to get rid of her.. Its gotten to the point that when I see her number on my caller id, i send it right to voicemail..
Starr said:Girl, I feel you. I won't go into details about me and my mom, but you have to learn how to deal with her. You just have to know how long you can be around her, when to stay away, what NOT to tell her, what not to SHOW her, and what you can share together. It takes some time to master this, but it is the only way you can ever salvage a relationship with her. Will that cure the disfunction? Hell no, but it will help you keep your sanity.
If she is that bad, DROP her ass like a bad habit and maybe move to another state- or at least a few hours away.