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Moving Forward from Abuse?
If you guys read my other posts then you would know I have man problems. Last night I invited my ex over to spend some time with his daughter. As soon as he walked in I could tell something was wrong , he had this crazy look on his face. I ignored it and he continued to play with my daughter and do the usual things that he normally does when he visits. I invited my sis and my mom over and they arrived a little after him. When he saw them come over he asked if we could go upstairs so that he could talk to me in private. I agreed but I brought my daughter in the room with me. As soon as he shuts the door he starts going off on me calling me a liar and saying I lied to him about dealing with other men. For the record I did lie to him but that was because I told him I wanted a break and I didn’t feel like I owed him an explanation. He told me to look in his face and tell him if I was dealing with anyone else. I don’t know why I did it but I lied again with a straight face and told him I wasn’t. Next thing u know he pulls out my phone that I thought I had lost and starts naming all the dudes I started to date. My phone has a lock on it so I still don’t know how his crazy ass ended up finding out all the info he did. He even found out the address to where this guy stayed when I didn’t even know the address. Before I could think straight he punched me so hard to the point my eye split I fell to the floor and he lifted his hand I don’t know if he hit me again or not because I was so in shock I just remember calling out for help and he ran and got out the house before anyone could hear me. I feel so confused because this is a man I loved for six years and he always told me he would never put his hands on me. I know I was wrong for lying and I feel guilty but I know I didn’t deserve that. He is trying to make it seem like im the one who caused this. For some reason I keep blaming myself for leading him on. I don’t know if ill ever be able to trust anyone else in the future. My question is how do I move forward from this?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ms. KissyFace on -
He is not the one that got a split eye and wild horses couldn't drive a man to do something he doesn't want to especially if it is harming someone he loves, but a male thats another story.
Desiree' said:your right i know its not my fault. I took out a restraining order against him i just feel sorry for him a little bit like i drove him to do it but im strong and i know he was wrong period
Unseen said:Sorry to hear about this. First thing first, please stop blaming yourself & making excuses for his physical violence. I understand you lied to avoid the extra mess that would have probably occurred but now you have to come to an conclusion on what YOU are willing to do to move forward. I'm a firm believer in if he does it once, he will do it again.
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Permalink Reply by Ms. KissyFace on
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I am sorry you got hurt I really am :(
DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE IS SAYING. He didn't turn himself in did he? So alcohol hit you? I thought it was him.
Sorry for my tone. Been there/ done that/learned from it/didn't like it/won't do it again.
Desiree' said:yeah she saw the whole thing she started to scream and i can tell it was traumatic for her because when i went to the police station that night my mom said she wouldnt stop screaming and my daughter is no cry baby at all she is doing much better now. He sent me a voicemail saying that he wants to turn himself in and he is looking to get help with drinking and his anger issues but i know better than to believe that. It's just hard beacuse i love him but i know what i gotta do. My sis said either i can have him put in jail or allow her to shoot him lol.
Phoenix said:I swear I teared up when I read that he hit you.
I am so sorry.
Just so I'm clear...your daughter witnessed this?!
How does she feel? Has she reacted?
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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on -
DJ, did u really 'provide assistance'???
DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN said:please cut all communication with dude. he is the type of guy that will do much worse. thankfully, ur mom and sister were there. who know what would have happened if they werent there. my mom was in a very violent relationship for 15 years. i got to the point where i was like he is going to end up killing my mom or i will kill him!! my mom was the type of woman that kept going back to him so after a while it was like wtf are we providing assitance (kicking dudes ass) if ur just going to go back to him. he eventually left my mom (wtf!!) to go kick some other woman's ass. im sorry this happen to you. good luck!!
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Permalink Reply by OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE on
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I hope you still have the voice mail, attach it to the police report (if you can). He needs to be behind some steel bars to know his behaviour is unacceptable.
Desiree' said:yeah she saw the whole thing she started to scream and i can tell it was traumatic for her because when i went to the police station that night my mom said she wouldnt stop screaming and my daughter is no cry baby at all she is doing much better now. He sent me a voicemail saying that he wants to turn himself in and he is looking to get help with drinking and his anger issues but i know better than to believe that. It's just hard beacuse i love him but i know what i gotta do. My sis said either i can have him put in jail or allow her to shoot him lol.
Phoenix said:I swear I teared up when I read that he hit you.
I am so sorry.
Just so I'm clear...your daughter witnessed this?!
How does she feel? Has she reacted?
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Permalink Reply by DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN on -
very true.....
Desiree' said:sorry you had to see your mom go through that! My sis told me today i may be hurt physically but family sometimes gets hurt just as much because they have to worry and see that person go through it
DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN said:please cut all communication with dude. he is the type of guy that will do much worse. thankfully, ur mom and sister were there. who know what would have happened if they werent there. my mom was in a very violent relationship for 15 years. i got to the point where i was like he is going to end up killing my mom or i will kill him!! my mom was the type of woman that kept going back to him so after a while it was like wtf are we providing assitance (kicking dudes ass) if ur just going to go back to him. he eventually left my mom (wtf!!) to go kick some other woman's ass. im sorry this happen to you. good luck!!
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Permalink Reply by DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN on
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yea....i even had a cousin that through him out of a second story window. this nigga was so crazy he broke his ankle from the fall and still got up and ran off. it was like a scene from a jason movie because we ran out side to finish him off and he was gone. just broken glass. lol
OLD $PICE PINE NEEDLE said:DJ, did u really 'provide assistance'???
DJ - A.K.A - DON_JUAN said:please cut all communication with dude. he is the type of guy that will do much worse. thankfully, ur mom and sister were there. who know what would have happened if they werent there. my mom was in a very violent relationship for 15 years. i got to the point where i was like he is going to end up killing my mom or i will kill him!! my mom was the type of woman that kept going back to him so after a while it was like wtf are we providing assitance (kicking dudes ass) if ur just going to go back to him. he eventually left my mom (wtf!!) to go kick some other woman's ass. im sorry this happen to you. good luck!!
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Permalink Reply by Phoenix on -
http://necolebitchie.com/2012/01/30/new-video-olivia-walk-away/#mor...
Olivia's song/video came right on time!
(btw, side bar...WHO is the man in the video?!)
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Permalink Reply by Desiree' on -
your right everything you said is so true
Ms. KissyFace said:I am sorry you got hurt I really am :(
DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE IS SAYING. He didn't turn himself in did he? So alcohol hit you? I thought it was him.
Sorry for my tone. Been there/ done that/learned from it/didn't like it/won't do it again.
Desiree' said:yeah she saw the whole thing she started to scream and i can tell it was traumatic for her because when i went to the police station that night my mom said she wouldnt stop screaming and my daughter is no cry baby at all she is doing much better now. He sent me a voicemail saying that he wants to turn himself in and he is looking to get help with drinking and his anger issues but i know better than to believe that. It's just hard beacuse i love him but i know what i gotta do. My sis said either i can have him put in jail or allow her to shoot him lol.
Phoenix said:I swear I teared up when I read that he hit you.
I am so sorry.
Just so I'm clear...your daughter witnessed this?!
How does she feel? Has she reacted?
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Permalink Reply by Desiree' on
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that came right on time thanks for that and dude in the video is eye candy
Phoenix said:http://necolebitchie.com/2012/01/30/new-video-olivia-walk-away/#mor...
Olivia's song/video came right on time!
(btw, side bar...WHO is the man in the video?!)
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