Hey ladies... As I've revealed 2009 has been an extremely rough year... And it seems as if everytime I see light at the end of the tunnel, another disaster happens, and I find myself digging through again... But I am starting to realize that maybe I need to let people handle their own problems, so that I can deal with my own s***... But I have these two people in my life that I love dearly and I see them making HUGE, possibly fatal mistakes and I just can't seem to get through to them...
1. he is gay... he is barely legal, bullimic & having unprotected sex in club bathrooms... says he isnt worried about AIDS, and that we have no right to lecture him about conoms, because we have all had unprotected sex at some point... also admitted that he feels his life were better if h were white, and even has his ethnicity as mixed on a couple of gay mating sites...

2. baby daddy just entered the halfway house after being in prison for 4 years for attempting to harm her & others... she is in love with another dude, who isnt ready to settle down... 1st day out baby daddy manipulates her into sex, he constantly sneaks on the phone @ the halfwy house late @ night to call her... he will call & call until she picks up... same s*** he did before... she told him about other dude, and while he was locked up, they agreed to nver discuss again... but now that he is free he wants to know exactly who it is... IMO he is exhibiting all of the same manipulative behavior that he has always had... I am afraid it will end in death...

Its like a couple of lifetime movies... should I try to intervene, or let go and pray for the best...

Tags: HIV, family, far, help, issues, love

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You need to try and intervene 1 more time with the friend whos gay.. i presonally know a young man whos openly gay and having UNPROTECTD sex and he is infectted. HIV/AIDS is NOTHING TO PLAY WIT. I say you take him to speak to a few men who are infected. Let him know if he keeps going down the road he choses to take HE WILL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. I grew up wit a lil boy whos 4 years younger den me ..He lived his life in the fast lane now hes 18 and has HIV. Its a ruthless sad world we live in and if he doesnt care about his life what makes him think the man hes sleepin with does. As far as the baby daddy situation is I say u step back I have a friend who was in the similar situation.It was a waste of my breathe preachin to her ass. She is going to do what she wants. So I say u say yo last peace to her ass n let her do her. But let her know u will not intervene unless its a LIFE OR DEATH situation. Them are the women who fail to realize the truth and only see what dey want n not how s*** is suppose 2 b . I say u let go of the baby daddy situation and PRAY FOR THE BOTH OF THEM !!
I don't know what you more can you do...The more you try and intervene, the more they will rebel...The only best thing I know to do for #1 is have another gay male, one on record as having HIV, speak to him about his actions. It's hard to watch people f up their lives I know, but sometimes it's not up to you, but them to change their thoughts and ways.
1. He sounds like a bugchaser...I read about them and they will not stop until they get the virus.

Bugchasing (or bug chasing) is a LGBT slang term for a subculture of Homosexual men who actively pursue HIV infection.
Bugchasers seek sexual partners who are HIV positive for the purpose of having unprotected sex and sero-converting; giftgivers (also gift givers) are HIV positive men who comply with the bugchaser's efforts to become infected with HIV.

I really don't think it's much you can do for him..maybe show pictures of people dying of AIDS. :(

So sad...he needs mental help.

2. Keep it moving...
I feel like I am in a similar situation. And from what yall know of me I got my own ish going on but yet I found myself trying to help people like I'm a damn social worker. I am focusing on me from today forward!

My best friend in college is like your gay friend, except she's not gay. She dates all these different guys (she's white, they're black). She has unprotected sex and gives these niccas all her money! She is broke as hell doing powder with her new friend and doesn't think anything is wrong with it. But when you try to tell her she just thinks you're hating. Naw b**** I'm just trying to help your dumbass. Everytime a guy doggs her out she comes crawlin back to me like aint s*** happened.
I would assist #1 by finding a mentor or "gay big brother". Someone that can help change his warped outlook on life. He probably needs some type of therapy to help him deal with the REAL reason for all of his /actions/problems.

#2 I would leave her! "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make her drink". Help from a distance... pray for hem. These people are toxic to you and your life!

So to answer your question... LET GO AND PRAY FOR THE BEST!
JustMe for situation#1 I would get someone to talk to him. i wish you were here I have a friend that has a non profit GLBT center and they have different meetings to confront some of these issues. There are centers like this that have meetings etc.

Friend#2 the best thing you can do for her is pray...unfortunately until someone is ready to stop dealing with abuse there is nothing you can do.
I would definitely intervene if these were my friends...
The friend that is gay and participating in HELLA risky behavior...Im almost at a loss for words...I mean his point of everyone having had unprotected sex...could very possibly be true...HOWEVER...that doesnt make it coo to be a part of that mess....ESPECIALLY in the gay community...I mean there are kats out there that know they got all kinds of diseases and prey on innocent kats...he needs to think about his life and really treasure that...who wants the final chapter of their life to be that they got it in at the club and had a blast...ended up with something that took them out the game?? Theres something deeper going on...I would definitely try to get him to open up to someone and hopefully change his mindset!
As for your girl...she needs to be strong and do all things necessary to keep herself and her family safe...people are unpredictable...
Just my 2 cents
Thanks, and while I am home, I will definitely try to get #1 to see a counselor... on his father's side, over the top behavior is "hereditary"... the way his father passed is... (PM if you want details)... everything about him is just so freakin EXTREME...

#2, prayed about it last night... if she brings it up, i will be completely honest with her no holds barred... if not, I will just keep it to myself...
thank you...

Fly Chickadee said:
Babe, you cant carry everyone's burdens. Sometimes carrying others burdens causes you to lose yourself. i learned this the hard way! And sometimes you can fight someones battle and they resent or blame you for the outcome.

Pray and be an ear. Say your peace, whatever God puts on your heart and then pray that they will make wise decisions. Then fall back and be there when and if they call upon your for help and remember, dont sacrifice your emotional or physical well being.

my grandmother told me a few things that have held true: 1) You can not tell a woman about her man, you can only listen and tell her how you would handle a situation. 2) Love people in spite of. and what that means is your children friends family will make decisions in life that you may not necessarily agree with and you may know that it will lead to destruction but you must love them in spite of it. Whether you agree with their decisions or not. They will gain wisdom in their own time.

Be an ear but dont let the negativity consume you and define you. Because their mistakes can weigh so heavy on your heart that they pull you down.
This was great advice and I hope you don't mind but I am passing a part of this on to a friend I have that needs this as well. Very well said

Fly Chickadee said:
Babe, you cant carry everyone's burdens. Sometimes carrying others burdens causes you to lose yourself. i learned this the hard way! And sometimes you can fight someones battle and they resent or blame you for the outcome.

Pray and be an ear. Say your peace, whatever God puts on your heart and then pray that they will make wise decisions. Then fall back and be there when and if they call upon your for help and remember, dont sacrifice your emotional or physical well being./b>BR>
my grandmother told me a few things that have held true: 1) You can not tell a woman about her man, you can only listen and tell her how you would handle a situation. 2) Love people in spite of. and what that means is your children friends family will make decisions in life that you may not necessarily agree with and you may know that it will lead to destruction but you must love them in spite of it. Whether you agree with their decisions or not. They will gain wisdom in their own time.

Be an ear but dont let the negativity consume you and define you. Because their mistakes can weigh so heavy on your heart that they pull you down.
I agree, great advice babe! Sorry ur going thru this JustMe. I know what its like 2 care 4 people even if they dont care about themselves. I will be praying for u 2 have peace of mind cause these r 2 very deep situations.

Fly Chickadee said:
Babe, you cant carry everyone's burdens. Sometimes carrying others burdens causes you to lose yourself. i learned this the hard way! And sometimes you can fight someones battle and they resent or blame you for the outcome.

Pray and be an ear. Say your peace, whatever God puts on your heart and then pray that they will make wise decisions. Then fall back and be there when and if they call upon your for help and remember, dont sacrifice your emotional or physical well being.

my grandmother told me a few things that have held true: 1) You can not tell a woman about her man, you can only listen and tell her how you would handle a situation. 2) Love people in spite of. and what that means is your children friends family will make decisions in life that you may not necessarily agree with and you may know that it will lead to destruction but you must love them in spite of it. Whether you agree with their decisions or not. They will gain wisdom in their own time.

Be an ear but dont let the negativity consume you and define you. Because their mistakes can weigh so heavy on your heart that they pull you down.

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